Template : I don't really know
Sunday, November 29, 2009 ? 2 Watchasay? ?
I'm having this kind of feeling again and It makes me hate myself for feeling this bullshits. :|I don't know where to start ranting about my life and this is actually my 2nd post attempt because I'm not sure if I want to post nonsense, negative and pointless stuffs here at my blog, but I guess there's no other place to release this.
First of all, EWAN KO. I'm feeling really bum since last last week. Feeling ko lumulutang lang ako and, everything just passes by and my mind is so SABAW! I feel so lantang gulay that I don't know what I want and what to do kahit alam ko na may DAPAT akong gawin :|
I'm so disappointed of myself and I know I've been ill tempered this past few days.
My exams results were just normal except for Geometry and History that when I went to school last Tuesday, some of my classmates were asking `ano nangyare sayo` and I was like `bakit? ano ba nangyare?`.
Haay, I don't know, I don't want to sound `mayabang` but is it really my responsibility to achieve everyone's expectations na para bang it's a super big sin na bumama ako?:| gaaaaah, hindi ba ko pwede mag pahinga muna from being `someone everyone expects me to be? `
I'm tired of what's happening, I'm tired of planning things that no one seems to care, I'm tired of being the person they think I am. I'm tired of being the magaling that almost everyone depends on. I'm tired of being the one who figures out everything. I'm tired of the people who thinks they don't need to care kasi nandito naman ako :|
I may look happy but I am not. Maybe I'm just good at hiding what I really feel.
I admit that I am happy at some time but it's just for a while :| happy ako nung friday because we had the Math and Science camp, happy ako kahapon kasi nakapagbike ulit ako after a long time but after that, what next? I don't know again, It would just be all neutral again, pagpasok sa Tuesday ganun ulit :| and honestly, I don't really feel Christmas this year :|
I feel friendless and taken for granted :| I feel used and judged and I'm just tired of proving everyone wrong.
I'm not PROUD and SATISFIED of what I am anymore :(
I'm sorry about this rants I believe you don't understand. I'm sorry na bihira na nga lang ako mag update puro drama pa:| I'm just being emo today and I already miss my laptop :|
Labels: Personal, Random, school
Exam & New Moon
Saturday, November 21, 2009 ? 4 Watchasay? ?
Sorry! but I really have to blog about this. And about the Hiatus thing, maybe it's too exaggerated so I might just be a `palitaw` for the next few days :DEXAM; The 2nd day was KABOOOOM =)) It was a super life changing experience to cheat and have a kodigo =)) well, at least it was fun =))
1st and 2nd day our adviser swapped with our super KIND teacher who was the last section's adviser =)) Graaaabe. I think the whole room was already doing IT =)))) but he just don't care and he even told some of my classmates na `ang cheap naman, RHGP lang nangongopya ka pa` =))) like WTF! super bait niya and it waaaaaaaas really a super DAY =))
Our 3rd day was Geom, Social Studies and Fil and we thought that he would still be the one to look after us but unfortunately, he did not and we are SURPRISED when out STRICT adviser entered the room and said `KEEP ALL YOUR THINGS` and we were like `OHMYGOD. THIS IS IT` :(((( tapos our first subject pa was Filipino when it was supposed to be math so it was like the so called PEARL HARBOR ATTACK :( grabe :| super kabado kaming lahat.
after that, we went to SM to watch 2012 but switched NEW MOON instead because 2012 will start 5 pm and most of us are not allowed to go home late :| and it was also dissapointing that many of us are not allowed so only the 8 of us went :| I'm just so GLAD my mom allowed me to go :D
New Moon was overall average and better than Twilight in some aspects :)) the effects are better, less missing scenes, HOTT WEREWOLWES =))) but I'd still Go for ALEC :bd
Dakota Fanning and Taylor Lautner made it mouthwatering =)) but it was still BORING:) I doubt if I would understand it if I haven't read the book. The scene switching are confusing, BELLA WAS IS FLIRT :))) I really laughed at the motorcycle scene, too many slow motions, and it was too CLOSED UP :))
I would really be happier if we watched this. :)) I'm so excited for it and I even watched Armageddon, Pearl Harbor, Patriot, and Saving Private Ryan before the movie :)) oh well, we're gonna watch it next week.Labels: celebrities, movies, school
HIATUS
Friday, November 20, 2009 ? 2 Watchasay? ?
There's something wrong with my laptop so I DON'T HAVE A LIFE anymore :(( sorry :| I promise to make it up to you and I swear I have so many things to blog about :D
This Hiatus may last for about 2 weeks :(
Labels: Personal
BLOG AWARD
Friday, November 13, 2009 ? 5 Watchasay? ?
Neno's Award
First of all I want to thank KIMI for giving me this award :D
The rules and regulations for this award are:
1. As a dedication for those who love blogging and love to encourage friendships through blogging.
2. To seek the reasons why we all love blogging.
3. Put the award in one post as soon as you receive it.
4. Don’t forget to mention the person who gives you the award.
5. Answer the award’s question by writing the reason why you love blogging.
6. Tag and distribute the award to as many people as you like.
7. Don’t forget to notify the award receivers and put their links in your post.
I started blogging last Summer '09 out of boredom and I was also encouraged by a fellow teentalker. I've always wanted to have a blog so I could have my own domain where I could tell all my secrets and rants about life but I find it so confusing on how to operate one. Until last summer, I asked a favor from a teentalker to teach me how and then poof :D I had an insant blog and I spent almost a day to learn about CSS and CODES :D
Most of the stuffs here are not-so-interesting stories about my everyday life where I coudn't tell anybody personally without he/she teasing me. Well, It's also one reason why I created a blog. I want something unknown to my common friends and my family. I wan't something to tell my worries and problems without asking many question :D
Btw, these are blogs I'm inspired to read with their roller-coster lives and interesting point of views. :D
Friday the 13th
? 0 Watchasay? ?
TGIF!Happy Friday dear bloggers :D parang kahapon lang Monday pa lang, tapos ngayon Friday na naman :D I would say that this week was `the bomb` =)))
Ang daming nangyare starting Monday, although I find every day fast approaching and Boring. Monday was my MALAS day because we lead the flag ceremony on the spot plus I FORGOT MY BIO PROJECT. thank god for Lorielle. PLUS we had the groupings on MAPEH, which was UGHH =))
Tuesday was neutral =)) so let's proceed on Wednesday. It's the Card giving day and the posting of honor rolls which I already mentioned.
Thursday was the OHMYGOD IS THIS REAL day :D
He said SORRY =))))))))) and my heart melted. LOL. I was surprised =)) kasi it was puppet making day for Arts so everybody was busy and it's just normal for the two of us to bump in each other and just ignore it =)) pero I don't know, he's starting to act weird since Monday, he started to talk to me in a civilized way like asking what's our homework and `nasan si ganito/ganyan` so I was just answering like he's just somebody.
It was T.L.E time and the seat beside him is empty. He called my name then told me to transfer there so I was like `huh? ako ba?` and I asked why and sabi niya lang `basta`. Out of respect, I told him `later` but I really don't have plans on transferring.Nung malapit na magtime he asked me kung lilipat pa ba ko so ayun, lumipat na ko para wala na siyang masabi.When I transferred, he automatically said `happy monthsary` so nagtaka ako, I asked him `monthsary niyo?` tapos sabi niya hindi daw, 1 buwan na daw pala kasi yung nakalipas. kaya nalaman ko na yung tinutukoy niya is kung kelan nagstart yung di namin pagpapansinan.I remained speechless kasi di ko alam sasabihin ko kaya nakinig na lang ako. tapos bigla niya sinabi `di ko akalaing natiis kita` at `kumusta` then blah blah. he was the one talking most of the time until he open the topic about our conflict, ayun :-\
to cut the story short. I think we're already ok, but not me.
I'm still not comfortable to be his friend again, feeling ko kasi masyadong tumagal saka nasanay na ko sa routine na hindi ko siya napapansin. Naging steady na din yung feelings ko and I even decided to go on with `no pansinan at all` :| oh well, at least he made the move. :D Hindi na din siguro babalik yung dati naming closeness.
Friday; the Bad-minton day =))))
We're the one who lead the gymnastics and kahapon lang kami nagpractice =))))) It was a tiring morning plus our CD had an error.
It was physically tiring because we played Badminton and Volleyball most of the day and of course, I still don't know how to act being his friend again so it was major AWKWARD.
tapos dismissal was postponed pa because Crystel's badminton racket was destroyed kaya ayun :\ umiyak siya ng umiyak :| it was a long story but It was some sort of `napagtripan` yung racket =)) nalasog lasog talaga, hinampas kasi eh. Then on the Corridor sinalubong kami ng umiiyak na si Rhyme, she just suddenly burst on tears with the same crap. BOYS :))
Oh well, ano kaya mangyayare next week which is the EXAM and NEW MOON week =)) I'm not that excited for NEW MOON anymore, parang mas gusto ko nga panuorin yung 2012 eh:| We were planning to watch it after exams but unfortunately, my mom won't allow me :(
It's Saturday tomorrow and I'm not sure if we have swimming classes but Angel and I have to go to SBO's Medical Mission on Sunday. haaaay :| I want to rest :(
And yes, Let's pray for Manny Pacquiao's Fight with Cotto
Labels: Friends, Personal, school
Ranking
Tuesday, November 10, 2009 ? 0 Watchasay? ?
I ranked 2nd :DOh well, I know I'm not the top 1 anymore and it has never been my wish or dream to be on the top, nor did I expected it sabi ko nga sa previous post ko :)
I'm happy with the results because at least wala akong palakol db? =))
saka at least wala akong effort na nasayang and I don't want to pressure my self just to be consistent of my rank, nothing's permanent nga db? :D
and right after I saw my name at that sheet of paper last quarter, I already knew It won't be long because someone's more determined to achieve it and I consider that person my friend, nevertheless :)
Grades do not measure intelligence - themarinegeek.tumblr.com
Right, it's just grades and it does not measure the capability of the mind and most of the time, it's just a matter of memorization :))
I don't want to bury myself with a book at the corner of the room just to be THERE AT THE TOP OF THE PAPER kasi it doesn't really matter so It's not a big deal for me anymore. btw, CONGRATS CRYSTEL :)
Another thing is about HATE MAILS =)) oh well, I'm starting to receive some but I don't mind it, plus feedbacks from someone out there =)) na FRIEND ko pa kuno ((:
The thing is, kung may ayaw ka saken I would gladly appreciate it if you'd say it right before me and not behind me, kasi tinuturing kitang kaibigan as well as everyone else, so If I annoy or irritate you at times. Please avoid confronting me to ask for help. PLASTIK =))))
I know I am BOSSY but does it harm you? :-\ ang tanong dun, `inaano ba kita`? db =))
alam kong BOSSY ako dahil FYI hindi ikaw ang unang taong nagsabi saken niyan and even my mother told me, so If you can't deal with it. BACK OFF. No one's forcing you to be my friend. I don't need to change things I'm used to if it doesn't harm anyone either. I won't change for you, ILAN AT SINO KA BA? =))
Right now I'm studying how to `not mind what others think` kasi sabi nga `don't mind others opinion if you want to be happy` =))
Oh well, Basta ako I treat everyone as friend although sometimes naiinis ako and It's just normal, hindi ko rin sinisisi kung sino ka mang naiinis saken but PLEASE don't change the story, ayt =)) keep it for yourself if you don't want to approach me.
I'm trying my very best to avoid haters and any kind of complications towards my friens *kaya nga 2 na lang ako eh* =)) so It's not my problem anymore. I can't please everybody and Nobody's Perfect. PERIOD
Update about lovelife; ZERO.
Super crush and I are still at Silent war and I don't care anymore =)) nagiba na dn kasi yung kwento sa kanya eh =)) and The issue here is not about what I felt, It's about what he did and what he thinks of me. SO HINDI KAMI BATI =)) and sometimes I still find it hard to act when he's around, my world seems to be so small =))
Tapos yung nagpaparamdam, nawala na namang parang bula =))
thought of the day;
In the end, it doesn't even matter
Labels: life, Personal, school
Sembreak
Saturday, November 7, 2009 ? 4 Watchasay? ?
Sorry, I had to cut my entry because it would be so long :DAyun, Sembreak was BITIN but it's kind of FUN.
We went home to Pampanga (my father's province) to visit my lola and my grandfather's grave too.
It was Friday evening when SANTI arrived at our place and he was totally CRAZY, I even though that our trip would be postponed because of the heavy rain and strong wind.
I was spending the night at tumblr and facebook that time because there's no internet connection there, when the rain and wind started to get crazy I decided not to sleep.
It was nearly 2 am in the morning when it started to creep me out. The water is slowly rising and the rain won't stop, My window is nearly crack because of the wind so I decided to wake up my mother and we waited until our sundo arrived.
They arrived nearly 4 am and we waited until Santi calmed down before going and it was about 8 am already.
__________
During the sembreak, I realized something.
I realized na mas malalim masugatan ang mga lalake and it's true that Men are physically stronger but women are emotionally capable.
Sometimes guys just can't let it out because they think with their minds and they often think that crying makes them weak. So we don't have the right to blame boys in general when we get hurt because all is fair in love and war, and sometimes we think na tayo na lang nahihirapan because we don't see them suffer.
Honestly, I grew up mostly with boys because I don't have a sister and my girl cousins and I have huge age gaps and with my father's side, she just too aloof with me, considering there's just two of us.
At the last day of our vacation, I had a convo with my two elder cousins, We are both Panganays and have stubborn brothers too so yeah, we're the ones who understand each other in the family and it's just too sad that we grew old and apart from each other.
We talked about their Ex-es and our Frustrations with our parents, And I've notices that everything seemed to change since our lolo died :(
We seldom have family gatherings, my tito and tita are fighting, my dad went abroad and we are not kids anymore :( I just miss the old days, the days when we would exchange gifts and my lolo would portray as Santa during Christmas and the Fireworks and the sleepless nights and everything :( The pillow pillow fights and hide and seek games :(
I missed being a kid. No problem and No worries and I sympathize my two cousins, they are both not-so-over with a girl who left them for someone else., even if they had tons of girlfriends after that, It's still one girl they want to be with :(. I wonder what could've happen if my lolo is still here, I wonder if my cousin would still get pregnant and commit abortion if he's still here, I wonder if my tito and tita would still fight over non sense things :( There's just too many things that happened since he died of Cancer :(
me and my brother :)
HALLOWEEN PARTY
? 0 Watchasay? ?
UPDATEok, this is it na talaga. Sorry if I haven't post any since the last week of October.
It's just that I feel so SABAW these past few days plus the weird weather and boredom attack.
Oct 29;
Halloween Party, ughh, it was BORING with capital B =)) there was no program at all, just the battle of the bands and a dance competition (which was boring too) the bands were not that great and honestly, it was really boring. The happy parts were just the pictoriaaaaaals =)) and it's Earvin's Birthday
*pardon :) may lollipop eh*
L-R: Me, Ann, Jayvee
Lorielle and Crystel :D
L-R:Dillip,(IDK),Crystel,Me,Jenny,Jomicar,Ann
L-R: Angela,Earvin,Dillip,Caster,Jenny,Crystel,GillianAnn,Jomicar,Joanne
Another thing that happened that night is that I texted him *super crush* kasi I saw that he has a phone so I asked a friend kung anung gamit niyang number that time. I asked him `magkagalit ba tayo` then he JUST replied `Ewan` WTF eh? alam niyo yung feeling na `hello~ I took the first step!` I wanted us to be okay at least before sembreak, para naman wala kaming burden db? tsss, then he would just tell me EWAN? how inappropriate is that? edi ayun, bahala na siya. Magsama sila ng PRIDE niya ~x(
Buti na lang I was with Lorielle and Crystel the whole time =)) laughing and laughing and laughing :))
I was even shocked when someone randomly told me. `ang cute mo tumawa, nakakainlove` WTF talaga =)) honestly, I dooon't want the feeling kapag tinitingnan/tinititigan ako, I would always ask BAKIT =)) so wala lang, baka pinagtitripan lang ako nun :))
Labels: events, Friends, school
Dull
Wednesday, November 4, 2009 ? 1 Watchasay? ?
I'm so sorry for not updating this again :(Mabigat na naman kasi pakiramdam ko these past few days since Oct. 29 :| plus Sembreak and this coming 3rd quarter :|
I might update about everything that happened tomorrow :)
Prince Charming. Haha
I don't really know