Template : The beginning of the end :)
Monday, December 28, 2009 ? 0 Watchasay? ?
Bold all the things you've done in 2009:
Did something you said you would never do.
Paid for someone who said they would pay you back but never did.
Lied about where you were.
Discovered a new musician.
Made something for a friend. -Does making him/her happy counts?:D
Got a new phone.
Got a new iPod/Zune/Mp3 player.
Watched three or more episodes of Saturday Night Live.
Made fun of someone.
Created a Tumblr.
Flew on a plane for the first time.
Spoke in front of 15 people or more. -almost everyday :D
Met someone in real life that you originally met online.
Done something illegal.
Did your siblings chores for money.
Stayed up all night thinking about the worst thing that could possibly happen to later find out that you worried for nothing.
Hurt somebody you didn’t mean to hurt.
Hugged your mom or dad.
Baked a cake.
Made a new friend.
Lost an old friend.
Changed your views on society.
Laughed at something that wasn’t funny.
Got upset over something that wasn’t a big deal.
Had a horrible birthday.
Got a Facebook. -Update & Use FB!
Deleted your Myspace.
Cried because you missed old times.
Cleaned your room.
Have a new found appreciation for someone you never expected to.
Told someone you love them.
Told someone you hate them.
Screwed something up but didn’t mean to.
Received a gift.
Gave a gift.
Read a book that wasn’t for school.
Ate a lollipop.
Threw away something by accident.
Smoked a cigarette.
Ran a mile.
Switched schools.
Aced a test.
Wished you were in the past.
Got scared about the future.
Got yelled at by your parents.
Lost a family member.
Saw an old friend.
Went to church/synagogue.
Hugged a stuffed animal.
Said you’re going to make next year better.
I decided to make a post like this before this year ends :)
credits to http://marlytheexplorer.blogspot.com/
Dead End
Sunday, December 27, 2009 ? 3 Watchasay? ?
It wasn't the first time he asked me that question since we broke up, and everytime he would ask that, I would just answer `bakit? ano gagawin mo kung OO?` and It's either he would change the topic, crack a joke and not reply.
threestrikesyoureout.tumblr.com/
Yes, I still love him but I know It can't be `US` anymore even if he still loves me. For almost two years we've been together, we had the same on and off relationship which always started from him and this time, even if he wants me back I can't seem to say `yes` because I got tired of the same set-up.
I'm contented with us being friends for now, kasi parang kami din naman kahit hindi kami,.
It's like we still talk about the same stuffs, share things like we used to be. The only difference is that we're not boyfriend-girlfriend. Just plain Me-Him period.
I don't want to be in a relationship with him again because I don't wanna play like what other couples do. I don't want to ruin what we have now by sucking to such responsibility of being in a relationship. I don't want to be with him and repeat the on and off cycle which I know would sooner or later lead to one place - dead end.
I have learned my lesson while we're still together. I do not demand his time when he's busy as much as I want to and even though I miss him so much. I don't want to demand time from him because I don't want to pressure him by choosing me and his studies. I've seen how hard it is for the both of us and I love him too much to give him pain.
To last a relationship requires so many risks and sacrifices which I know both of us cannot handle. Being in a relationship needs commitment, time, demands and most of all it's a responsibility. I have my own priorities and so as he.
I want us to last without heartaches and bitterness like couples who break up. I don't want to involve myself in a situation I know we'll both regret in the end. I don't want to risk my love to turn to bitterness and pain. I want us to last as what we are now and it will not happen if we pressure ourselves to the next level. And I know It's just not for teenagers.
I love him. he loves me. it's enough for now
Holiday
Saturday, December 26, 2009 ? 0 Watchasay? ?
Merry Christmas
Sorry if it was late, I wasn't able to open my accounts since my last post :)
Christmas went well, no special happenings, no family gathering, no unusual event. It was just me, my mom my bro and some family friends. We just watched a movue til 12mn and Noche Buena. :) then off to sleep, the continuation of the party happened the day of 25th.
Labels: greetings, Holiday, Random
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Tuesday, December 22, 2009 ? 0 Watchasay? ?
`Anong araw ngayon? OMG. it's 23 :0YAN! 24 na bukas and almost everyone are busy doing stuffs and I'm here, BORED TO DEATH :|
Honestly, I don't feel like celebrating Christmas except Simbang Gabi. I don't know, I just don't feel it anymore, it's just like an ordinary day that will just pass.
My life is back to the usual routine again. EAT-NET-TV-BOOKS-SLEEP and so on and so forth :| and for the past 3 days since vacation started my routine started to drop to eat and sleep because I have already read all the books here, watched all the movies :| specifically HORROR MOVIES. I'm avoiding chick-flicks and romance stories because my imagination and feelings have the tendency to be CRAZY when seeing mushy things/people surrounded by the so called spirit of LOVE. haaaay.
I'm not happy -- not that I don't smile or laugh though -- I just need happiness. :-/
Labels: Random
Christmas Spirit
Sunday, December 20, 2009 ? 0 Watchasay? ?
YAY :) VACATION :)
So yeah, It's Vacation already and It's our Christmas Party last Friday and I thank God it was a success.
It was FUN but if I'd be honest, I wasn't that satisfied. Siguro kasi 75% nung party I was busy preparing and arranging things kasi I wasn't able to manage decorating the room the day before because we went out to buy a dress and gifts :| alanganin kasi lahat sa schedule. It was fun pero iba yung feeling ko :| siguro because I was expecting another kind of christmas party. Basta, iba yung feeling ko, siguro I just miss my elem days and friends :|
I was just able to enjoy the latter parts.
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Yeah, ang gulo gulo pa namin :| buti na lang when the party was over. tumulong naman sila mag arrange :) I didn't went gala na rin kasi I wasn't able to ask permission, I don't have extra money and I'm dead tired :D saka may simbang gabi pa :)
And speaking of simbang gabi, I would post a seperate entry about it some time :)
formspring.me
Tuesday, December 15, 2009 ? 0 Watchasay? ?
Ask me anything http://formspring.me/invisiblethoughformspring.me
? 0 Watchasay? ?
Ask me anything http://formspring.me/invisiblethoughButterflies
Monday, December 14, 2009 ? 0 Watchasay? ?
I miss the feeling of Butterflies in my tummyWala lang, I just miss the feeling of having someone who will constantly be with me :D
These past few days kasi puro wala lang. OO, sinasabi ko na type/crush ko si ganito or ganyan pero alam naman ng old and close friends ko na yung mga bagay na walang habas kong sinasabi -- ay karaniwan di totoo sa aking nararamdama. LOL =)))
So yung mga binibiro biro ko na crush ko -- wala lang :D napagti-tripan ko lang. haha =))
Another thing is Gusto ko din ng Retreat :( naiingit ako eh. LOL. hahaha =)) wala lang, ang KJ ng school namin, kahit yung 4th year walang retreat. BV. :(
Ayoko na nga rin magexam eh, gusto ko na mag Christmas Break kahit di ko masyado feel ang Christmas.
KBYE, I still have exams tomorrow!
HELL WEEK
Sunday, December 13, 2009 ? 0 Watchasay? ?
The previous week was full of drama and really Hell! so I'm so sorry I wasn't able to update my blog.Monday; Normal day. it was the deadline of our project in T.H.E and we discussed on Computer. Nainis lang ako kay Crystel after lunch kasi it was our report day on Social Studies pero wala akong idea about sa details kasi when our teacher announced it, wala ako sa classroom because of some SBO stuffs.
The report was intended to be our remedial Quiz, nainis kasi samen yung SS teacher namin so he didn't attend class kaya wala kaming Quiz. I was pissed because weekend pa lang I told her na sya na lang mag assign ng designated topics sa girls because I wasn't able to bring my book home. I told her to lend me her book to research about the topic pero hindi niya ko pinahiram. sabi niya sya na daw bahala. So when Monday came, naiinis ako because almost everyone was aking me `Zaira, ano irereport ko?` they kept on asking me until lunch tapos may quiz pa bigla sa T.H.E and hindi pa ko nagrereview. Tapos nalaman ko bigla na wala pa palang irereport, na ang gulo gulo pa pala. I told her to do so something then bigla niya sabi `di ba ikaw na bahala?` kasi ako daw yung nagresearch and parang wala siyang pakealam, tuloy tuloy pa rin siya sa pag rereview. Eh pano naman ako? ni hindi pa ko nakapagbubuklat dahil lahat saken nagtatanong? I didn't have a choice so I just fixed everything. nakakainis! Considering na siya pa yung Top 1.
Tuesday; I cried :| I swear, bihira ako umiyak because I don't want people to pity me or look at me as a weak person, pero last tuesday napuno na talaga ako. Super sumama yung loob ko towards everything that happened plus the pressure na din siguro :| Ayun nga, nainis samen yung Adviser namin dahil sa usual section stuffs: masyado na kaming maingay, matigas ang ulo, bastos and everything at kahit naman ako nainis na nun kasi hindi naman lahat involve sa mga kalokohan na yun pero dahil nga section kami; Miss one Miss all. Kaya ako naiinis kasi ang daming insensitive, hindi man lang nila naisip yun na may nadadamay sa kanila at dahil nga galit yung adviser namin, nagpaquiz siya ng lesson na hindi pa nadidiscuss :| first period pa yun :|
After that, yung adviser namin nagpaiba ng seating arrangement tapos yung mga maiingay/makukulit nilagay niya sa isolated chairs, then he told us to stand up and occupy the seats we want but no one followed. Then dahil dun, he told me to make a new seating arrangement so ako naman, I asked kung pwede bang bahala na sila kung san nila gusto umupo then he said ok.
Ayoko na kasi ng conflict ayoko ng saken magrereflect lahat ng side comments kung ako gagawa nung seating arrangement. saka HINDI NILA AKO TITIGILAN.
When our adviser left the room, ang dami sa kanila nagsasabi `Zaira tabi mo ko kay ano ha`.I felt irritated, nung binigyan sila ng chance na lumipat hindi nila ginawa then ako yung kukulitin nila about the seat plan? eh hindi pa nga ako gumagawa, ano ako? ROBOT? tss :| because I was so pissed, hindi na ko nag entertain ng questions and I just wrote on the board na after lunch pumasok sila ng classroom for the seating arrangement. Kasi napapagod na ko magsalita ng magsalita then no one will listen, so sinulat ko na lang.
Pagkatapos ng lunch, I arranged the chairs tapos pinapasok ko na sila, pero ayun. konti lang sumunod. So I closed the door and told the ones who followed to choose their seats, kasi wala atang balak pumasok yung mga nasa labas.
When everyone was already inside, I told them `ok! pumunta na kayo sa gusto niyong upuan` then after that ang daming vacant seats tapos yung iba nakatayo so I asked them `ayaw niyo ba dito?` blah blah blah and It was so gulo~ kasi habang nagsasalita ka nakikipagsabayan sila, tapos yung iba gusto magkakatabi sila kahit wala na ngang seats, so what I did was compromise them and told them to transfer kung gusto talaga nilang magkakatabi, pero ayaw naman nila sumunod kasi gusto nga nila sa pwesto na yun, EH HINDI NGA PWEDE NA YUNG PAREHONG GUSTO NILA ANG MASUSUNOD. I was already angry that time so I told them `Ano ba? Ano ba talaga gusto niyo? gusto niyo ako na lang gumawa?` but most of them is still talking. Naiiyak na ako nun dahil sa inis, Ikaw na nga yung nagbibigay ng favor sa kanila tapos ganun pa yung ugaling ipapakita nila sayo? WTF right? I told them `Alam niyo abuso kayo, kaya maraming nagagalit saten eh`. Buti na lang sumunod na sila.
after everything was ok and arranged, I called Therese then told her to come with me at the locker's area. Ayun, dun na ko umiyak :( I told her everything I feel.
Since the start of this school year, I tried my best to have no enemy or any kind of conflict towards anyone because I don't want last year's event to happen again. I tried my best to consider everyone first before I proceed with a decision that will affect us as a Section. Pero alam mo yun? I just bursted out last Tuesday kasi ako na nga yung Nageeffort para sa lahat then at the end of the day ako pa yung masama? I do think of all of them and what they would think before I make a decision kasi I hate to hear negative feedbacks na masama ako and blah blah blah. Pero ganun pa dn eh, I do all my best for the sake of my HS life and friends without expecting anything in return. I just want them to atleast APPRECIATE AND RESPECT me as a friend and kahit hindi na bilang President nila. Pero anong sinsusukli nila? negative feedbacks? na ganito ganyan ako? tss. :| I just felt so betrayed that time. I just felt so down. I felt na lahat sila plastic, that's why I just told Therese alone.
Wednesday; It was our dissecting day, umaga pa lang our classroom was already loud kasi ang daming malalandi ~x(. Takot sila sa palaka tapos paglalaruan pa nila? then they would shout? irritating db? saka hindi pa mabuti yung pakiramdam ko, I still feel out of placed that time.
While we are dissecting, yung first steps parang maiiyak na ko sa takot at pandidiri :| kasi we have to paralyze the frog first by stabbing its head, so while I was holding the frog na pumapalag pa :| I can feel it on my hands so I was like `OH MY GOD, DI KO NA KAYA` :| but when the frog was already on the pan, I felt a little bit fine and already amazed. Specially dun sa heart, kasi It was still beating kahit naremove na siya sa body nung frog. :D
After Lunch, nagulat kami kasi may nagsabi na galit daw yung teacher namin sa T.H.E kasi may pinapagawa pero marami pa ring nasa labas, kaya ayun.
Bottomline; yung homework/experiment namin sa Bio ay naging Thursday ang deadline, so all of us was like WTF! tatlo yun ah? may Project pa tayo sa Values, SS and English `ano kala nila saten?` and everyone was complaining but I kept quiet, kasi kami rin naman may kasalanan so we don't have the right to complain at the first place, I just talked to our Values teacher to move our deadline for Monday so we can held the Interview on Saturday. So luckily, he agreed.
Thursday; I was already irritated early in the morning, kasi nung wednesday, nagusap usap kami ng classmates ko na magkakalapit to do the homework ng sama sama para hindi kami mahirapan, so while we were looking for the needed materials, nakasalubong namen yung adviser namin who is also our teacher in Bio. Sabi naman sa kanya na ang hirap maghanap nung materials at mahal kung mag iindividual kami so sabi niya `sige pwede na kayo mag group, kahit ilan kayo. Pero kailangan niyo inform lahat ng classmates niyo para fair, kung hindi niyo maiinform, hindi pwede` so we were happy. Ginawa namin lahat para mainform sila tapos ang nangyare, when everone was already informed. Ang daming nagsabi na `Zaira pwedeng sa inyo na lang ako?` so out of pity, I agreed. Kawawa din naman kasi saka sabi kahit ilan daw.`
tapos kinabukasan kami pa yung may pinakakulelat na grade? kasi biglang ang dami na naming kagroup kahit wala naman sila natulong? tapos nakakainis lang kasi kami yung nageffort para mapadali kahit papano yung homework tapos kami pa yung kulelat? Nakakainis.
The rest of the day was BUM. wala ako sa mood eh.
Friday; the DEADLINE day.
It was our project making in Bio about the compilations of what we did last wednesday. pero dahil may flag ceremony tapos nag sermon pa yung prefect of discipline, nabawasan yung time namin. We told our adviser na hindi namin matatapos yun within the period but he was already decided na hangang period niya lang pwedeng gumawa. Everything was RUSH.
English time; our project was about reporting pero I was not feeling well so I prayed the whole period na sana hindi kami abutin and luckily, natupad naman :)
Nung gabi, we had our Caroling pero nainis ulit ako :| yung iba kasing kasama last week hindi na pwede tapos yung mga dumagdag pasway na, late pa :| tapos yung ruote namin nakakatakot :| madaming aso tapos inabutan pa kami ng ulan :( so yung iba nag decide na umuwi pero nung tumila yung ulan, I told them to proceed sa safer place kaya kahit papano naka 200+php kami.
UPDATE
Saturday, December 12, 2009 ? 0 Watchasay? ?
I'm having problems on uploading pics -.- kaninang umaga pa :(
So I'm so sorry for not blogging regularly. Masyado na namang marami ang nangyare :( full update tomorrow!
Labels: Random
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Wednesday, December 9, 2009 ? 3 Watchasay? ?
This day was superb! ang daming nangyare plus the `dissecting` part. Super duper many projects and homeworks to do and the `mabigat` feeling is hitting me again, so yeah. I just made this entry kasi napansin ko isang entry pa lang ang nagagawa ko for December :| I'm going to tell everything tomorrow plus the pictures :)New Layout
Monday, December 7, 2009 ? 4 Watchasay? ?
New Layout;I know it's really simple. There's just something wrong with my previous skin so I had no choice but to change it :| though it was a rush, I'm glad it turned out ok.:)
Sorry for not being active, it's just that my laptop is still broken and the one who was supposed to fix it is so busy he have no time :(
Christmas is fast approaching and so as our Christmas Party. We decided to have a Christmas Carol last Friday and it was SO FUN :D laughtrip on the way and even though many of us wasn't able to join, umabot pa dn kami sa 10 :DDD we were able to gather 460php for just a night :))
Another thing is we're going to disect frogs on Wednesday so :DD PRAY for me! I'm going to post pictures after.
I miss you fellow bloggers :( specially my online pals; Cae, Aerine, ate Yuki and other Teentalker.
Labels: blog, Friends, Personal
Prince Charming. Haha
The beginning of the end :)