As I've promised, I'll post about this right after the exact day but I was too tired last Saturday and the coming days would be so hectic because of the upcoming literary contest on Friday so I'll just rant about it now.

It was so FUN although I thought it would be BORING.

Right after the last day of exam which was thursday, We had an orientation about the should and should not to do`s at the fieldtrip and also about the 98% percent incentive in our exam and as a result many of us was pissed off because there are so many `BAWAL` so we though `WTF, nag pa fieldtrip pa sila` and the seating arrangement was messy. :|

When Friday came, we had a 5 am assembly at the gym because the supposed time of departure is at 5:30 but because of latecomers, we were able to depart at almost 6 am.

Our bus was FULL kasi kami lang yung bus na puno ang jumpseat :) we were with first year. I was quiet at the beginning of the trip because I was thinking of my brother, nagaalala ako kasi baka hindi sya okay dun and bla bla bla, plus my camera's flash is broken so I wasn't able to capture photographs at the bus. But as the trip went on, ang ingay na =))) kasi our seating arrangement is yung pahaba, isang pahaba kaming second year, from front to back then everyone was passing food all over the bus =)) laging `pasa mo to` then babalik dun na owner na wala ng laman =))) Hindi ko nga nagalaw yung mga baon ko dahil pasa sila ng pasa =))

First Destination - our first destination was the Bangko Sentral, but before we got there, a super FUNNY scene happened =)). Ayun nga, on the way kami papunta dun kaya syempre may mga sasakyan kaming nakakasabay, but one Bus caught our eye, kasi ka bus number namin sila which is BUS #6 =)) eh malalakas ang trip nung iba, kaway dito kaway dun, tapos may nakapost na number pala dun sa bintana ng kabilang bus =)) edi ako naman sabi ko `kunin niyo kunin niyo, ang gwapo nung nakasakay oh` =))))))) eh kinuha naman nila :D kaya ayun, instant textmate daw. haha =)) It was so Hilarious!

When we were already inside, camera's are not allowed so wala, BORING. tapos napahiya pa ko :D GRABE! kasi I was looking for my brother, so nung nakita ko yung classmate niya kinalabit ko `ui, nasan si Edrian` then nung hindi siya sumagot, I realized na kamuka lang pala niya yun =))))) edi strike 1 na yun kaya ang ginawa ko, niyakap ko yung nasa unahan ko sa sobrang pagkapahiya. sabi ko `shit! nakakahiya.!` tapos nung lumingon siya saken. GAAAH! first year pala yun~ akala ko classmate ko =)))) grabe. :D I apologized immediately then walked away. LOL =)) tawa tuloy kami ng tawa ng classmates ko habang pabalik na sa Bus.

2nd Destination - The National Museum, out tour guide told us na isang ikot na lang daw kami dun then balik na agad sa bus kasi nag exceed yung time namin sa BPS. Nothing much happened, nakita lang namin yung Manungul Jar =)) LOL

3rd Destination - we went to fort Santiago to have Lunch, so eto na yun =)) picture taking then we rode kalesa :)

4th Destination - Malacanang Palace. as usual, camera's are not allowed inside so wala lang =)) namangha lang kami dun sa laman ng museum.

Final Destination - STAAAAR CITY =)) so eto na, eto na yung pinakahihintay namin pero dahil KJ ang driver, ang tagal pa namin naghintay dun kasi hinintay pa yung ibang bus para daw sabay sabay. tss. tapos sa bus pa lang nagsisigawan na na lahat daw sasakyan, may minus ang hindi sumakay =))

It was so Fun kasi sama sama kami =)) akala nga namin hindi ganun ka crowded kasi nga January na, pero unfortunately ang dami ring students kaya ayun. We decided na Gabi ng Lagim muna kami =)) GRABE =)) tsansing time daw kasi grabe magkapitan tapos tulakan, may mga nadapa pa. LOL. Next was the Anchors Away, This time hindi na kami complete kasi nag back out si Crystel =)) umiyak pa kasi hindi daw niya kaya, so ayun =)) eh ang haba ng pila kaya super tagal namin naghintay saka in order na sabay sabay kami, ang dami naming napauna T_T :D pero GRABE, laughtrip kami habang nakapila kasi nakikita namin yung expression ng ibang nakasakay =)) yung iba ang yabang pa kasi nasa dulo pa sila =)) pero pag baba namumutla. haha =))

Tapos ayun, naaawa ako kay Angel kasi dun siya sa dulo napwesto kasi wala ng iba, ayun tuloy =)) hindi na siya sumakay sa iba kasi baka daw masuka na siya =)). 3rd was the SKY FLYER =)) dito 2 na lang kami ni Jamaica sumakay, kasi yung adviser namin sumingit sa pila kaya nauna tuloy siya :| eh ayaw naman nung iba kaya kami na lang ni Jamaica yung pumila ng halos isang oras =)) pero it was worth it =)) GRABE. =)) then pagbaba namin saktong yung iba nakapila sa Surf Dance =)) eto naman yung ride na super laughtrip =))) namutla talaga yung adviser namin dito =)) pinagtatawanan niya pa kami nung una pero siya namutla na =)) Last was the Wild River :) kasama ko dito yung Crush ko kaya ayun =)) todo kapit ako. LOL =)) pero ayos lang, walang masyadong thrill tapos amoy suka pa yung tubig =))

It was already almost 9pm after the wild river kaya sabi ng adviser namin, mamili na daw kami or kumain para makaalis na =)) So it was ALL :D nag consume kasi ng maraming time yung haba ng pila. But overall it was fun :) kasi sama sama kami :) and it was so different from last year's Trip.

Tapos eto pa pala, kasi si Ex told me days before the trip that he might come that time so ako naman mejo na-excite :D pero nung almost 8 na he texted me na may lakad daw sila kaya di siya matutuloy. At first I was disappointed kasi once in a blue moon chance na yun, pero hindi ko na din pinansin, I was too happy to be sad that time saka naisip ko din na anong sense na magkita pa kami kung wala na rin naman db? :) So again, It's just positivity. LOL.

When we were already at the Bus, our adviser announced that we will not have out NAT review that coming Saturday kaya masaya na =)) Super Sakit ng braso at katawan ko pagdating ng Sat =)) I just slept and slept and slept :)

I am not okay ever since the resume of classes. Bad news dropped right in front of me since Monday and I've been recklessly unfortunate the days that followed. So I'm very sorry if this entry is NONSENSE.

Yung New Year's resolution ko, wala. Wala man lang Buena Mano -.- yun nga, ganun pa rin yung pakiramdam ko kahit marami ng tao, kahit maingay na yung paligid ko. I still felt Hollow. SABAW. lutang. basta, ang sama sa feeling -/-. Then nung Tuesday almost lahat ng Test Papers binalik na and the results was devastatingly abnormal -- well atleast for me --. It was a passing grade naman, pero it's not enough for me kasi alam ko yung basis ng grades ko at yung INEEXPECT ng iba na DAPAT, right at that moment alam ko na na mostly lahat ng grades ko bababa kasi mas mababa yung nakuha ko compared to last quarter's exam 0.0

Honestly, My grades never really bothered me pero this time, iba talaga.

It's just really out of ordinary. I even asked myself `ano ba nangyare saken` -.- kasi alam ko naman na nagaral ako. I even really really study hard at BIO pero ayun~! 80% LANG!

Haay, since nung nag Top 1 ako alam ko na sa sarili ko na hindi ko yun ginusto and never ko inexpect kasi ang ayaw ko nga sa lahat is pilitin yung sarili kong kayanin kahit hindi ko kaya, and maybe that triggered everything. Mas tumaas lahat ng expectations nila saken, mainly my MOM. -.- Ngayon hindi talaga eh, normally 2-3 subjects lang ako bumababa or nahihirapan pero ngayon 2-3 subjects na lang ako tumaas. yung iba nag remain, and it's not NORMAL kung para saken -.-

I know I'm still at the top 5 kasi almost majority din naman samen may bumaba so tangap ko lahat ng pagbabago sa grades ko kasi alam ko din naman yung results ng exam ko. Ang hindi ko tangap, yung reaction ng mga tao sa paligid ko. SHIT NAMAN, GRADE KO YUN BAKIT GRABE KAYO MAKAPAGREACT? so that's the hardest part of all, wala naman silang alam sa nangyayare saken except sa mga kinukwento ko, anong karapatan nilang i-question yung performance ko? -.-

Isa pang masakit, sobrang nakaka upset ang nanay ko -.- I already told her na `My, baka bumaba mga grades ko ha` tapos nung pinapirmahan ko yung test papers ko, sabi lang niya `ayusin mo to` pero alam mo yun? bakit yung kapatid ko kahit may bagsak ok lang sa kanya, kapag ako parang ang laki laki na ng kasalanan ko? tapos idadahilan pa niya na baka daw may ginagawa ako na di ko sinasabi, na baka daw may boyfriend na ko. WTF naman eh! bahay-school lang naman ako at alam naman niya yon! at ilang beses ko na sinabing WALA! WALA! WALA! haay. Ni reason out ko dn sa kanya na `lahat naman kami bumaba eh` tapos sabi niya `hindi reason yun` tapos kanina kinausap ako ng teacher ko kasi bumaba nga ako so I just said okay kasi alam ko na nga, hindi na ko nagulat and ikinalulungkot ko nga lang ay yung magiging reaction ng mom ko. Sabi ko kanina pag uwi `sorry, mahirap lang naman talaga kasi` so I was expecting na sabihin niya `ok lang yan, bawi ka na lang nextime` but instead, she told me `kung mahirap bakit may tumaas? kaya ka bumaba dahil may pagkukulang ka din` kaya lalong sumama yung loob ko -.- kasi `HELLO, Can I have a BREAK?` :|

Alam mo yung feeling na grabe sila makapaghinayang sa grades mo, grabe sila makapagreact sa nangyare. Hindi manlang nila naisip na kung sila nga nanghihinayang, pano pa kaya ikaw? ikaw na mismong nawalan? -.- Hindi na lang ako umiimik, ilang araw ko ng gusto umiyak pero pinipigilan ko na lang kasi ayaw ko magmukang kawawa. Masakit eh, idagdag pa na parang wala silang pakealam sa nararamdaman ko. -.-

I just need someone to boost me up -_- I just feel so worthless. :| BYE

I am excited as 2010 enters but I'm not that eager to celebrate it. I don't even list any New year's resolution because I know it would just be USELESS. Siguro If I would want something this year, I want to be more APPRECIATED. :|

We all know how 2009 became a beeyatch and fvcked up with everybody's life.

Tragedies, Calamities and Death approached us and left a great impact in our lives, specially those who've lost their loved once. but despite all of these, It opened our eyes and taught us how to be stand up in the middle of the dark.

2009 was more of an average year than 2008 but it this year left me feeling so empty :\. yung feeling na feeling mo gumagalaw ka na lang for the sake of doing something. BASTA =))

So many events happened this year that really dropped the level of my happiness, events that affected so much to my self-esteem that I even questioned myself what I have done to deserve such things. Love and Friendship fucked up with me this year but I know I still remained calm in the eyes of people around and sometimes I hate that fact. Yung dahil sa tingin nila wala akong problema kaya binibigyan nila ako ng sangkatutak tapos kapag nagreklamo ka ang dami na namang blah blah blaaaaah! Eh kapag naman sinabi mo na may problema ka hindi ka rin nila tatantanan~ haaaay :DD

One thing I'm thankful about this year was meeting my Cyber Friends :D sometimes I even feel more attached and comfortable with them than my real life friends kasi yung iba sa real friends ko plastic. I'm even more comfortable to express my feelings with them because I know they respect my opinion and feeling enough to hurt me.

I never felt out of placed or even under appreciated whenever I talk to them. I even feel more close to them even though we're miles apart and I feel more secure that they do not befriend me just because they need something from me. My Cyber Friends do not take me for Granted :) thanks for being a part of my 2009 :) I'm looking forward to meet all of you for the next years of our friendship :) I love you Kathlene, Cae, ate Yuki, Aerine, Jeanne, Tepai, Kimi, Sam, Shei (purple), MIA, Edz, Steffie and you know who you are :D

I'm also thankful that I made this blog :) I'm looking forward for a better 2010 :)

As I've promised, I'll post about this right after the exact day but I was too tired last Saturday and the coming days would be so hectic because of the upcoming literary contest on Friday so I'll just rant about it now.

It was so FUN although I thought it would be BORING.

Right after the last day of exam which was thursday, We had an orientation about the should and should not to do`s at the fieldtrip and also about the 98% percent incentive in our exam and as a result many of us was pissed off because there are so many `BAWAL` so we though `WTF, nag pa fieldtrip pa sila` and the seating arrangement was messy. :|

When Friday came, we had a 5 am assembly at the gym because the supposed time of departure is at 5:30 but because of latecomers, we were able to depart at almost 6 am.

Our bus was FULL kasi kami lang yung bus na puno ang jumpseat :) we were with first year. I was quiet at the beginning of the trip because I was thinking of my brother, nagaalala ako kasi baka hindi sya okay dun and bla bla bla, plus my camera's flash is broken so I wasn't able to capture photographs at the bus. But as the trip went on, ang ingay na =))) kasi our seating arrangement is yung pahaba, isang pahaba kaming second year, from front to back then everyone was passing food all over the bus =)) laging `pasa mo to` then babalik dun na owner na wala ng laman =))) Hindi ko nga nagalaw yung mga baon ko dahil pasa sila ng pasa =))

First Destination - our first destination was the Bangko Sentral, but before we got there, a super FUNNY scene happened =)). Ayun nga, on the way kami papunta dun kaya syempre may mga sasakyan kaming nakakasabay, but one Bus caught our eye, kasi ka bus number namin sila which is BUS #6 =)) eh malalakas ang trip nung iba, kaway dito kaway dun, tapos may nakapost na number pala dun sa bintana ng kabilang bus =)) edi ako naman sabi ko `kunin niyo kunin niyo, ang gwapo nung nakasakay oh` =))))))) eh kinuha naman nila :D kaya ayun, instant textmate daw. haha =)) It was so Hilarious!

When we were already inside, camera's are not allowed so wala, BORING. tapos napahiya pa ko :D GRABE! kasi I was looking for my brother, so nung nakita ko yung classmate niya kinalabit ko `ui, nasan si Edrian` then nung hindi siya sumagot, I realized na kamuka lang pala niya yun =))))) edi strike 1 na yun kaya ang ginawa ko, niyakap ko yung nasa unahan ko sa sobrang pagkapahiya. sabi ko `shit! nakakahiya.!` tapos nung lumingon siya saken. GAAAH! first year pala yun~ akala ko classmate ko =)))) grabe. :D I apologized immediately then walked away. LOL =)) tawa tuloy kami ng tawa ng classmates ko habang pabalik na sa Bus.

2nd Destination - The National Museum, out tour guide told us na isang ikot na lang daw kami dun then balik na agad sa bus kasi nag exceed yung time namin sa BPS. Nothing much happened, nakita lang namin yung Manungul Jar =)) LOL

3rd Destination - we went to fort Santiago to have Lunch, so eto na yun =)) picture taking then we rode kalesa :)

4th Destination - Malacanang Palace. as usual, camera's are not allowed inside so wala lang =)) namangha lang kami dun sa laman ng museum.

Final Destination - STAAAAR CITY =)) so eto na, eto na yung pinakahihintay namin pero dahil KJ ang driver, ang tagal pa namin naghintay dun kasi hinintay pa yung ibang bus para daw sabay sabay. tss. tapos sa bus pa lang nagsisigawan na na lahat daw sasakyan, may minus ang hindi sumakay =))

It was so Fun kasi sama sama kami =)) akala nga namin hindi ganun ka crowded kasi nga January na, pero unfortunately ang dami ring students kaya ayun. We decided na Gabi ng Lagim muna kami =)) GRABE =)) tsansing time daw kasi grabe magkapitan tapos tulakan, may mga nadapa pa. LOL. Next was the Anchors Away, This time hindi na kami complete kasi nag back out si Crystel =)) umiyak pa kasi hindi daw niya kaya, so ayun =)) eh ang haba ng pila kaya super tagal namin naghintay saka in order na sabay sabay kami, ang dami naming napauna T_T :D pero GRABE, laughtrip kami habang nakapila kasi nakikita namin yung expression ng ibang nakasakay =)) yung iba ang yabang pa kasi nasa dulo pa sila =)) pero pag baba namumutla. haha =))

Tapos ayun, naaawa ako kay Angel kasi dun siya sa dulo napwesto kasi wala ng iba, ayun tuloy =)) hindi na siya sumakay sa iba kasi baka daw masuka na siya =)). 3rd was the SKY FLYER =)) dito 2 na lang kami ni Jamaica sumakay, kasi yung adviser namin sumingit sa pila kaya nauna tuloy siya :| eh ayaw naman nung iba kaya kami na lang ni Jamaica yung pumila ng halos isang oras =)) pero it was worth it =)) GRABE. =)) then pagbaba namin saktong yung iba nakapila sa Surf Dance =)) eto naman yung ride na super laughtrip =))) namutla talaga yung adviser namin dito =)) pinagtatawanan niya pa kami nung una pero siya namutla na =)) Last was the Wild River :) kasama ko dito yung Crush ko kaya ayun =)) todo kapit ako. LOL =)) pero ayos lang, walang masyadong thrill tapos amoy suka pa yung tubig =))

It was already almost 9pm after the wild river kaya sabi ng adviser namin, mamili na daw kami or kumain para makaalis na =)) So it was ALL :D nag consume kasi ng maraming time yung haba ng pila. But overall it was fun :) kasi sama sama kami :) and it was so different from last year's Trip.

Tapos eto pa pala, kasi si Ex told me days before the trip that he might come that time so ako naman mejo na-excite :D pero nung almost 8 na he texted me na may lakad daw sila kaya di siya matutuloy. At first I was disappointed kasi once in a blue moon chance na yun, pero hindi ko na din pinansin, I was too happy to be sad that time saka naisip ko din na anong sense na magkita pa kami kung wala na rin naman db? :) So again, It's just positivity. LOL.

When we were already at the Bus, our adviser announced that we will not have out NAT review that coming Saturday kaya masaya na =)) Super Sakit ng braso at katawan ko pagdating ng Sat =)) I just slept and slept and slept :)

I am not okay ever since the resume of classes. Bad news dropped right in front of me since Monday and I've been recklessly unfortunate the days that followed. So I'm very sorry if this entry is NONSENSE.

Yung New Year's resolution ko, wala. Wala man lang Buena Mano -.- yun nga, ganun pa rin yung pakiramdam ko kahit marami ng tao, kahit maingay na yung paligid ko. I still felt Hollow. SABAW. lutang. basta, ang sama sa feeling -/-. Then nung Tuesday almost lahat ng Test Papers binalik na and the results was devastatingly abnormal -- well atleast for me --. It was a passing grade naman, pero it's not enough for me kasi alam ko yung basis ng grades ko at yung INEEXPECT ng iba na DAPAT, right at that moment alam ko na na mostly lahat ng grades ko bababa kasi mas mababa yung nakuha ko compared to last quarter's exam 0.0

Honestly, My grades never really bothered me pero this time, iba talaga.

It's just really out of ordinary. I even asked myself `ano ba nangyare saken` -.- kasi alam ko naman na nagaral ako. I even really really study hard at BIO pero ayun~! 80% LANG!

Haay, since nung nag Top 1 ako alam ko na sa sarili ko na hindi ko yun ginusto and never ko inexpect kasi ang ayaw ko nga sa lahat is pilitin yung sarili kong kayanin kahit hindi ko kaya, and maybe that triggered everything. Mas tumaas lahat ng expectations nila saken, mainly my MOM. -.- Ngayon hindi talaga eh, normally 2-3 subjects lang ako bumababa or nahihirapan pero ngayon 2-3 subjects na lang ako tumaas. yung iba nag remain, and it's not NORMAL kung para saken -.-

I know I'm still at the top 5 kasi almost majority din naman samen may bumaba so tangap ko lahat ng pagbabago sa grades ko kasi alam ko din naman yung results ng exam ko. Ang hindi ko tangap, yung reaction ng mga tao sa paligid ko. SHIT NAMAN, GRADE KO YUN BAKIT GRABE KAYO MAKAPAGREACT? so that's the hardest part of all, wala naman silang alam sa nangyayare saken except sa mga kinukwento ko, anong karapatan nilang i-question yung performance ko? -.-

Isa pang masakit, sobrang nakaka upset ang nanay ko -.- I already told her na `My, baka bumaba mga grades ko ha` tapos nung pinapirmahan ko yung test papers ko, sabi lang niya `ayusin mo to` pero alam mo yun? bakit yung kapatid ko kahit may bagsak ok lang sa kanya, kapag ako parang ang laki laki na ng kasalanan ko? tapos idadahilan pa niya na baka daw may ginagawa ako na di ko sinasabi, na baka daw may boyfriend na ko. WTF naman eh! bahay-school lang naman ako at alam naman niya yon! at ilang beses ko na sinabing WALA! WALA! WALA! haay. Ni reason out ko dn sa kanya na `lahat naman kami bumaba eh` tapos sabi niya `hindi reason yun` tapos kanina kinausap ako ng teacher ko kasi bumaba nga ako so I just said okay kasi alam ko na nga, hindi na ko nagulat and ikinalulungkot ko nga lang ay yung magiging reaction ng mom ko. Sabi ko kanina pag uwi `sorry, mahirap lang naman talaga kasi` so I was expecting na sabihin niya `ok lang yan, bawi ka na lang nextime` but instead, she told me `kung mahirap bakit may tumaas? kaya ka bumaba dahil may pagkukulang ka din` kaya lalong sumama yung loob ko -.- kasi `HELLO, Can I have a BREAK?` :|

Alam mo yung feeling na grabe sila makapaghinayang sa grades mo, grabe sila makapagreact sa nangyare. Hindi manlang nila naisip na kung sila nga nanghihinayang, pano pa kaya ikaw? ikaw na mismong nawalan? -.- Hindi na lang ako umiimik, ilang araw ko ng gusto umiyak pero pinipigilan ko na lang kasi ayaw ko magmukang kawawa. Masakit eh, idagdag pa na parang wala silang pakealam sa nararamdaman ko. -.-

I just need someone to boost me up -_- I just feel so worthless. :| BYE

I am excited as 2010 enters but I'm not that eager to celebrate it. I don't even list any New year's resolution because I know it would just be USELESS. Siguro If I would want something this year, I want to be more APPRECIATED. :|

We all know how 2009 became a beeyatch and fvcked up with everybody's life.

Tragedies, Calamities and Death approached us and left a great impact in our lives, specially those who've lost their loved once. but despite all of these, It opened our eyes and taught us how to be stand up in the middle of the dark.

2009 was more of an average year than 2008 but it this year left me feeling so empty :\. yung feeling na feeling mo gumagalaw ka na lang for the sake of doing something. BASTA =))

So many events happened this year that really dropped the level of my happiness, events that affected so much to my self-esteem that I even questioned myself what I have done to deserve such things. Love and Friendship fucked up with me this year but I know I still remained calm in the eyes of people around and sometimes I hate that fact. Yung dahil sa tingin nila wala akong problema kaya binibigyan nila ako ng sangkatutak tapos kapag nagreklamo ka ang dami na namang blah blah blaaaaah! Eh kapag naman sinabi mo na may problema ka hindi ka rin nila tatantanan~ haaaay :DD

One thing I'm thankful about this year was meeting my Cyber Friends :D sometimes I even feel more attached and comfortable with them than my real life friends kasi yung iba sa real friends ko plastic. I'm even more comfortable to express my feelings with them because I know they respect my opinion and feeling enough to hurt me.

I never felt out of placed or even under appreciated whenever I talk to them. I even feel more close to them even though we're miles apart and I feel more secure that they do not befriend me just because they need something from me. My Cyber Friends do not take me for Granted :) thanks for being a part of my 2009 :) I'm looking forward to meet all of you for the next years of our friendship :) I love you Kathlene, Cae, ate Yuki, Aerine, Jeanne, Tepai, Kimi, Sam, Shei (purple), MIA, Edz, Steffie and you know who you are :D

I'm also thankful that I made this blog :) I'm looking forward for a better 2010 :)