A Spotless Trail

formspring.me

2011-05-31T09:41:00.001-07:00

Ask away <3 I don't bite. http://formspring.me/bumbumdebum

formspring.me

2011-05-22T01:47:00.001-07:00

Ask away <3 I don't bite. http://formspring.me/bumbumdebum

A Comeback Post :)

2011-05-21T03:26:00.000-07:00

Yes, I know. I've made a promise to myself that I'd be active in this blog for 2011, but it is very obvious that I have failed once again. :)))

Oh well, the reason why I haven't updated this blog for months is because blogger has been a beeatch to me, as well as our internet connection :D Isang buwan dn kaming nawalan for the month of April. And because it's been too long since I've updated, I've got tons of kweeeentos to share. But those kwentos would be on different entries. Masyado kasi ako magulo magkwento, mahirap igets. =)))

So the errors I've encountered with blogger started when I can't log in and I can't post an entry. My last post was about my `feeling` and negative thoughts about school and my emotionalness lol which are obviously dissolved now :DD So ayun, yung nakaprepare na entry ko about our annual field trip and my 3rd grading grades went to the recycle bin :DD haha! but I'll try to make a new one! I'LL TRY! :)

For a starter, I would like to make kwento from the most recent to the oldest. hrhr :DD And I would kwento what happened yesterday.

I didn't have review classes yesterday so Dad decided to watch Pirates of the Caribbean; On stranger Tides and it was aaaaawesome. Jack Sparrow was still hilarious as ever. :D Then we ate dinner at RaiRai Ken and the night was almost perfect, until! of course there's always something that ruins a good night. haay.

When we were on the way home, may nabangga kami! gosh it was nervewrecking. Alam mo yung feeling na nafeel mo kung ano yung feeling ng mga nakaranas ng car accident. GRABE! Nung biglang preno parang lumabas yung puso ko sa kaba. Luckily, the pressure wasn't that strong because my uncle, who was driving, isn't driving that fast. Edi nung may tumawid na nakabike nag *beeeeeeeeeeeep* ng matagal at malakas yung tito ko, pero ayun! bumangga pa rin Fortunately hindi malakas yung impact dahil nakapreno kaagad so hindi tumalsik yung tao, pero natumba. Grabe! grabe yung kaba namin, So my dad went out of the car to check on the man. Syempre kami kinakabahan na rin kung ano nangyare dun sa mama, bumaba din kami. Then Me, my bro and his gf saw that the man was drunk.! Grabe! And he didn't asked for anything, Bilhan lang daw siya ng gamot for his gasgas. But we didn't have any medecines with us so my Dad has to buy pa, ayun nagpaiwan kami dun ng kapatid ko and my mom.

While waiting, the man kept talking, kept on reasoning na wala naman daw siyang hinihinging kahit ano, gamot lang. He kep on telling us na `hindi na nga ho ako nagrereklamo` bla bla bla bla.

So the bitch of me, nainis. Db nakakainis yung pangangatwiran niya? It's as if he's implying that we should be thankful he has no plans of suing us. And I'm like, WTF. LASING KA TATAWID KA? SO WE SHOULD BE THANKFUL NA BUHAY KA PA. In that exact moment, lahat ng awa na naramdaman ko nung mabangga siya naglaho. grabe.

And that's not all, he kept on blabbing and blabbing! Eto yung mga sinabi niya.
"SOP po talaga yun, khit sinong driver kapag may nabangga responsibilidad niya yun. Patay man o buhay"
"Hindi ko po talaga nakita na may paparating na sasakyan kaya tumawid ako"

And I'm like, THE FUCK, talagang wala kang makikita dahil lasing ka. And who in his right mind would cross the road drunk? grabe! then isisisi mo dun sa sasakyan na tinamaan ka? eh malayo pa lang bumusina na. Grabe, yung kapatid ko nanlilisik na yung mata dahil gusto nang sapakin. He also kept on insisting na bingannga siya! grabe! Pasalamat siya hindi truck yung nakabangga sa kanya. I also said na `Kuya Hi-Way po ito, kelan po ba nawalan ng sasakyang ang kalsada? Para niyo na ring sinabing wag tumawid ang may paa`

Tapos ayun, napikon ata saken dahil ang pilosopo ko, I was so pissed with him I literally tell jokes to myself para lang tuloy pa rin ang smile ko. Katwiran pa niya na kasalanan yung ng nagdadrive tuwing may nababangga dahil may preno yung sasakyan. Edi para na rin niyang sinabing `pwedeng tumawid ang lasing dahil kahit anong mangyare may preno ang sasakyan`. Grabe. Imagine the mentalism of most Filipinos? SOBRANG BALUKTOT.

I also asked him `kuya may problema ka ba?` and he said "marami, may problema dn kayo kung namatay ako", nung time na yun sabi ng isip ko `putangina pala to ee. gusto lang mamatay mamemerwisyo pa`

That moment naisip ko na kaya hindi umaasenso ang Pilipinas. Naghihilahan tayo pababa. Yung mga mahihirap iniisip nila na mahirap sila, wala na silang pagasa. Kaya ayun, iinom, magbibisyo, magiging pabigat sa pamilya, sa bayan, sa lipunan. Isisisi sa lahat ang kalagayan nila, pero hindi sa sarili nila. Kanya kanya kasi tayong hugas ng kamay ee. kanya kanyang turuan, walang handang umako ng responsibilidad. Kasi kung marerealize ng mga pilipino na hindi ang gobyerno and may sagot sa lahat, nasa kanila na mismo. Pero Hindi, NASA BABA SILA, MANGHIHILA PA. SILA ANG MALI, SILA PA ANG GALIT.

Wala. Hindi tayo aasenso.

Masyadong inabuso ang demokrasya. Oo alam nating may Human Rights tayo, May freedom of speech. But that doesn't give us the rights to use these to destroy or hurt other people. Oo karapatan ng mga nasasagasaan na panagutan sila ng nakasagasa, but that doesn't give them the right to recklessly cross the road because they knew that whatever happens wala silang pananagutan. But didn't they thought about the lives they would destroy together with theirs just because they're tired living?

Tssk. Fucked up Mentality.

Nakakalungkot lang din sa mga simpleng manggagawa tulad ng mga drivers na napapariwara ang buhay dahil sa mga taong wala nang pakealam sa magiging resulta ng mga kagaguhan nila. hay.

So I'm gonna stop here. I just wanna share what I though about these kinds of people and I wanna tell you that I'm Pro RH Bill.

Till then, Bloggers :)

Alone in a Crowded room.

2011-01-09T03:14:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I wonder if I'm just too emotional or paranoid about things that cause me to feel this horrible. Sometimes I try so hard not to feel alone by trying to tell myself `it's not what it seems to be` that maybe, I just misinterpret their actions.

Have you ever felt that way too? You're with a lot of people yet it seems you're alone? That you're sort of caged away? or do you think you're just the one who build up walls?

I am aware that I don't have a bestfriend - though some people tells me thay we're bestrfirends - I just don't feel THE bestfriend with them, my bestfriend. The only bestfriend I consider is my mom, Someone who likes me because of me and not because of what I can do. I have a lot of closefriends, but there are times that they don't feel that way anymore.

It sucks to be in my situation, I'm like a log on a river, just going with the flow of everything. Everyone is my friend, but I often feel left out. I can be friends with her, with them, with anyone. But times come that they're all friends and I don't have anyone. :( I'm always an exeption to the group, I don't have permanent groupmates and partners and bla bla so when the teacher tells us to group ourselves I just wait for those who's incomplete or left out too.

I started to feel this way again with the fieldtrip thing. They were all like asking everyone `sasama ka?` but me? They didn't even dare to ask me. Alam mo yung feeling na minsan gusto mo namang may magtanong kung okay ka? :(

One thing that sucks for being strong is that everyone thinks you'll stay strong. ALL THE TIME. It sucks to play along when the truth is, you're effin tired of being strong, and no one cares if you're breaking down already.

I'm tired being their spare tire, they'll just invite me when they feel obliged, they'll just include to fill up one's seat. I'm always a freakin chance passenger. :( It sucks.

I'll continue playing along, I wouldn't dare give them the idea that people like them, who can't even appreciate me, affects me this much. The only thing I regret is that I've let myself care for people who doesn't even give a damn if I existed or not. I'll just hope that soon enough, I'll get the chance to be with people who won't let me feel like trash.

If this feeling is just a misinterpretation of what I see, then all I can say is that they can't tell me what to feel, prior to what they show me.

Blessing in Disguise

2011-01-06T07:45:00.000-08:00

Have you guys experienced wishing for something and end up having something not exactly like it?

Ako I always get that. And I sort of think of it as blessings in disguise, that maybe God didn't gave me exaclty what I wish for because he wants me to learn from the things he gave me. Maybe the people I have isn't what exaclty I wished to be with because they're the people I need, To grow up, To be mature and to be myself.

I am telling you this because we have new puppies :)) yay, Our dog gave birth to 5 babies on the last week of december and I only got a chance to hold it last January 1. They're so cute, I fed them milk and they were sucking my finger :DD ang sarap sa pakiramdam. haha :))

I named them Sophia, Cynthia, Ophelia, James and Charles :DDD

Sophia and James are my favorites. They're so cute like a ball:)

School's not getting in my nerves lately and Fortunately I've been happy and not too stressed for 3 consecutive days. I'm so hyper and a little mean with my friends, ang lakas ko mangasar :)) and they're not that pikon about it. We also had our monthy mass this morning. Then our Math and T.L.E teacher is absent so we did nothing but kwentuhan and tawanan and the usual classroom gimmicks :D

So yeah, everything seems to be cool with school and I'm hoping that it won't screw up. While at home and about my lovelife, it's a little bit on the edge these days.

Jump High, Love lots coz It's 2011.

2011-01-04T06:55:00.000-08:00

I know my posts are already late because I'm catching up for updates in my life :)

Our New Year was awesome, though not that great, it was better than any one else's. No one lost a finger, no one was hurt and everybody happy.

The day before Dec 31 we were so not prepared and just doing the same normal things. Then on the exact day, my ever awesome mom found a way to have something on our table :D I was even surprised that we have Lechon :D Kahit ulo lang, lechon pa din yun :)

We've got the bar which I was supposed to drink with my Kuya but he decided to have beer instead so I was left with the bar. haha :))) We started around 8pm and was a bit tipsy by 10 so I stopped for a while to let the `tama` go down my system because I don't wanna welcome the year asleep :D

Yeah I was red and hyper :DDD lololol.

We didn't have that much paputok and Edrian wasn't also with us because he decided to stay in Pampanga for New Year, so yeah, It's a bit sad. We just had fun watching fireworks because Mom didn't buy any for the sake of practicality. Sayang nga naman ang pera kung pagkatapos ng paputok wala na :D

After Midnight everything was the same again. haha :)) The streets went quiet and I guess they all went inside their homes like us. Unfortunately for me, My tummy ached so much that made me too uncomfortable to sleep :D Blame the Bar and my pulutan. haha, but my mom said hangin daw siguro kasi tawa ako ng tawa. Thank God that I was able to sleep around 4am because the ache subsided, next morning I was back on finishing my projects again because classes resume on Jan 3 :D

Christmas Party

2011-01-03T06:10:00.000-08:00

YAY, I wanna start this year right by trying to revive my blogging spirits. First stop is that I've finally changed my layout and my default pic. hoho :) I'll also change my about me sections as soon as I can.

So this post will be about our Christmas Party Celebration.

Dec 13-15: It's our Periodicals and we had a very long line-up of deadline but as usual, it seems that I'm the only one who's too stressed about it in our group. Can you imagine to have your Social Studies deadline at the exact day of your Christmas Party? FML. So those days were cram cram cram :))) I have one very effective technique in cramming. `Sleep is all you need` coz if you study when you're sleepy, nothing goes into your head. :D So I was like `fuck this. I'm gonna finish this project then sleep` :))) Tapos kinabukasan na ako magrereview :D Thank God I'm exempted in some subjects as incentives to our recent activities.

On the last day of exam, I was too pissed with Lorielle and Crystel who was acting all so great in decorating and planning about our Christmas Party and almost forgot that I'm the president of the class, so yeah, I gave them the privelage of carrying that responsibility. Bahala sila, wala akong pake. So I went home early because I still have nothing to wear. It was a day of dissapointments. Really, but I don't want to tell it anymote :)

Dec 16; We woke up early because my mom and I attended the Simbang Gabi. I was the first to get up - because of excitement, maybe - then my mom. At the Church I was so sleepy very sleepy that I slept almost half of the mass but of course I listened to the homily. On our way home my mom and I just walked because we still have to drop by the market and buy ingredients for carbonara which was my assigned dish for the party. When we got home I excitedly took a bath and did all the rituals and bla bla bla for the party.

I arrived at the party early and it wasn't what I was expecting, really. It screams boring all over the place :)))) then I told the one in charge, Crystel, what was the agenda for the day and she told me she hasn't made any and all of those excuses. Kesyo hindi na nga siya nakatulog ng ayos and bla bla bla, so my usual self got pissed and rant and rant at the back of my mind. I was thinking `what the hell was that excuse? you volunteered to organize this, now you're complaining that you haven't slept yet?` So she'll just sabotage the party? ugh! I tried to pull some strings, make some plans and thankfully the videoke already arrived so we decided to start. Then at the climax of our Adrenalines, it suddenly blocked out! YEAH, and we found out that the office cut the main power because there's too many videokes and the outlets might not accomadate all of it. We were like `what the hell? It's not the first year to bring Videokes in and how can you call this a Party without electricity? :(

we went outside and tried to proceed to our games, but again, walk out queen Crystel did it again, got pissed and just shooed off. What a bitch, you gonna take it all then spit it out? tss, so who's gonna clean that mess? ME! but that day I didn't wanna ruin my mood because our adviser was there. Haaay. Fortunately after the game they brought back the electricity so Ma'am Pam our adviser told me that we should proceed to the exchange gifts because we're already hungry. :D

I recieved a watch and a necklace that I haven't uploaded yet because I can't find my Camera's charger. ugh. :)) after Exchange gift was eating time. yum :D

After Kainan, we were talking about `what are we gonna do? should we go somewhere?` I asked Ann, the Gala among us if they're gonna go anywhere and she said she wasn't sure and that it depends who's gonna come so I said I would like to but I haven't brought money with me. We talked and discussed and planned and ended up going to Festival, It was kinda sad that only a few were able to come because some of us our parents disagreed.

The usual Barkada Gala. WAIT WAIT WAIT. TEXT TEXT TEXT. PIC PIC PIC :)) the original 11:30 plan happened to be 1:00 :)) We arrived at Festi around 1:30 and then viola, kanya kanyang gala :DD We enetered shops ans looked at those tag prices and our eyes just went $_$ because we don't have that much money to shop. hrhr.

We ended up riding the roller coaster and they were all sort of afraid and had partners and I don't so I was in front alone. hahaha :))) and I was teaasing and laughing at their faces during the ride. :D We bought books worth 10 to 20 php :)) then went home around 5:30 because we might be caught in traffic. I arrived home smiling and surprisingly my mom wasn't mad, she didn't even preach. yahoooo :)) I bought her a present too :D

So that was it. It was still awesome at the end of the day no matter how my mood literally screwed up :)

Cheers for a New Year

2010-12-31T05:19:00.000-08:00

Today is the last day of 2010 and the last day of this decade. So this is probably my last post, of course. I am deeply sorry for not posting any entry this past few weeks or even months because of some teenage bullshit that occured to me.

I think I've lost my sense of blogging. I got lazy, almost on everything, it's like my mind went to a long pause that everytime an idea comes to my mind, a part of it shuts it down and I end up being `sabaw` :)

I've been through a lot of emotional stress lately that I can't find a way to summarize, really. And I think It's the reason why I can't make a decent post with one thought. Okay, Tama na :D basta masyado akong nasabaw :D

Moving forward, I would tell you about how I spent this christmas.
I would say that this year has been the loneliest and the worst year yet to come because it's been a roller coaster ride. From school to everything I've been through a lot. I've been thinking a lot about what I want for my life, about the decisions I have made and decisions I have to think of.

Christmas this year didn't feel like christmas at all, during Christmas eve I went outside our house and felt nothing, The houses were dull and the ambience was just too lonely and very different from the previous Christmases. I reminisced a lot of memories, of how we spent our christmas the other years, of how different it was. I also thought what would it be like if my dad was here to celebrate with us.

I was almost sad and furious with our overall situation this christmas because my mom was almost broke and I can seriously feel the world crisis everyone is suffering too. Our Noche Buena was just the basics, nothing glamorious unlike our last years and basta, It's too hard to describe how dull it was, but nevertheless we were able to pull it off. My mom told me it's okay at least we're still lucky to have something to eat and to be able to celebrate it with the family. We're still lucky to have food on our table.

After Christmas my dad's package came so viola :)) party party :DD lol, we've got lots of supplies again so It wasn't that sad afterall eh :) The next day we went to Pampanga to visit our lola and my cousins too :D Nanay was still the same and we thank god that she's still here with us, still strong ang kicking :D We stayed there for two days just talking about Nanay's frustration about my Uncles Family and my elder cousin who's taking the wrong decisions in life. So all in all, our family is hanging by a thread since my lolo died :( and my cousing and I were just remiscing how good life was before, how happy we still were when lolo was still here. ah, good times. :)

Happy New Year Everyone :) I still got a lot of pending entries and I don't want to mix it all up with one entry so see you all next year :)

Dear Blog

2010-11-28T09:40:00.000-08:00

I know I've been too busy to be with you but I want you to know that life has been good these past days and I don't want you to feel neglected. I promise to keep you, for as long as I can because you've been there during the darkest days of my teenage life. I'll never delete you. Promise. Yes I may update you once in a while but what you have is something no one, even my friends do, and I'm gonna keep you. Maybe I'll show you publicly to my real life affiliates a second before I die.

You're one of the best things I have and I'm gonna stick with you no matter how many better sites would come.

Love,
Zaira

Birthday Bash.

2010-10-24T23:00:00.000-07:00

This week has been so fun and memorable despite the fact that it was exam week.

Last Friday was our Quiz slash dance presentation for MAPEH and it was perfect :) we got 60 perfect point for the dance so PARTEY PARTEY :) everything was okay, no harm done with those misunderstandings and I was right just to let it pass. After the presentation I told them to come to my birthday and It was SO AWKWARD XD because I'm really not used to approach them in that sweet kind of way. Ayun, and yung iba pa sabi `invited ba ko` and I was like, I am really that bad? lol! hahaha :)) then I told them everyone is and I wasn't just able to announce it earlier so parang haka haka lang nung una.

The celebration of my birthday turned out to be so so so successful and Unexpected. At first I was so unsure if there would be a celebration because my mom's broke and I've already invited my friends so I told my mom it would be okay if it's just simple, just few of my classmates and just the basic menus.

But It was so fun because my very wonderful mom have connection and friends that she was able to pull it through! ang daming handa and almost half of it was just sponsored by politicians dahil malapit na election :)) yay!

My friends were LATE! and I was nervous at first that no one would come. aww! and when Angel, Jam, Therese, Matthew came there was this awkward atmosphere that I didn't know how to start the party! haha :) we watched Resident Evil; Afterlife then when Earvin texted that they were coming I told Angel and the others to hide =DDD then It was the icebreaker. We were laughing and sweating when they arrived. Hah! :) panira lang yung mga tsinelas kasi di namin natago ;D

I was so happy because THERESE who's always MIA on my birthday came! and then Gill, though late and Ranniell :) It's just sad because Jeff didn't make it. aww :D and I have a hunch na iniiwasan niya ako because of that birthday issue.

The normal plan which was a movie marathon turned out to be an ICING BASH! :))) It started when my mom popped in and told everyone they have to sing Happy Birthday! :)) and you know that awkward feeling when everyone's singing you a happy birthday! haha :D I blew the cake and wished then got a knife to cut the cake but the moment it was put down! They dug their fingers in and started wiping everybody's face with icing! :))))))))))

After that the party just got more intense. hahahaha :)) laugh trip and shouting because we switched the movie to Nightmare on Elm's street :D

When the girls started to say bye I wanted to cry but did not. I just really missed gill and the day was so awesome to end. The girld went first and the boys decided to finish the movie and oh god :))) something almost happened I just can't find any words to describe it. haha.

Sorry if this post is way too late and I have another post upcoming :D

Point of Views and Opinion.

2010-10-14T03:51:00.000-07:00

One bad quality I'm aware of myselft is my lack of patience. I mean I'm moody at times and I don't like it.

I get pissed easily by stupidity and I hate it when people or my classmates don't get things at one try.
I'm aware of it and even though I badly want to hold my temper, I just can't.

Then one day, I realized I have to do something about it, most specially that I was never fond of complications and conflicts. I just thought it will do no good to anyone. I also tried to think things through because I have this habit of always hating something about a person, or an act. I always have a comment on it although most of the time I just keep it on myself, and then I realize I'm just stressing myself and wasting my mind thinking about it. I realized that a good leader isn't perfect, he just makes way to work things out. A good leader isn't always right, he just consider things and broaden his mind. I realized that to work things out, I should stop complaining and rant and rant on things I don't like. Instead, I should look at the good side of it, if it's not what I expect to turn out, maybe I should think of an alternative, maybe I should be the one to compromise and try to understand more because I want things to work out with less drama and `kampihan`. I don't want to divide a group into a group. We're one section, a family, we should not get into each others nerves.

I ended up with this though through a help of a very good friend, Therese. We had this group activity in Mapeh involving everyone in class. It's a dance number mixing different kinds of ballroom, at first I got pissed of those `nagmamagaling` and you know how things happen in the first section, there's always competition.

But that day, I was so pissed and offended and tired and everything that I tried to calm myself. The usual me would rant and tell every bad things I hate about it, but instead of ranting I approached Therese and ask what should I do, she simply said `wag mo lang pansinin` and I tried. It worked. I got home, ate then slept, then the next morning I was okay again, as if nothing happened.

Therese was right, we were never united, that's why we always lost. We always get into each others nerves, the three of us. Then I told myself if I'm better than them, there's no need to compete, there's no need to quarrel. Because at the end of the day we still end up needing each other, so I tried to think things through again and I realized maybe I'd just compromise, try to understand them. Try to let things through, sabi ko sa sarili ko dapat di ko na patulan mga drama nila kasi mapapagod lang ako. Arguing with them would lead me to nowhere, it would just make us uncomfortable with each other and that kind of feeling have no place when you're inside one room always seeing each others face.

If I want us to be united, then if they can't compromise with us, then maybe we can. We should. We've been together for three years and it's already becoming a cycle. Away bati. Backstabbing, kung ano ano sinasabi sa isa't isa pero lumilipas din naman. I thought that maybe we should not let our words harm our relationship, specially when those words are results of spur of the moment anger.

I realized that hate or inis is just as normal as our breathing, considering the fact that nobody's perfect. All we can do is let it pass, don't let it harm anyone's feeling by crule and rude words. The world is beautiful, we just can't see it the moment we open our eyes. Just like babies, when they came to this world their eyes are still close. Just like when we wake up, everything has to be blurry first and let it pass until we see clearly.

Wishes do come true, even in the most unexpected way.

2010-10-12T03:13:00.000-07:00

Today was unusually surprising because things happened the way I didn't pictured it to be, though it wasn't that bad, it was actually good but I'm wasn't ready for it. haha :))

My day started out gloomy and a bit dull like the weather because as I said, I wasn't expecting it. I mean, I was expecting a happy greeting and a good morning from the most special person in my life, my mom. But because of yesterday's bad news she was sort of pissed and even forgot to greet me a happy birthday, plus another person I was expecting a greet from didn't :(

But despite my gloomy morning and a very awkward first subject, when English time came, tenteneneneeen :)) Ann reminded our adviser that it's my birthday so hello embarrassment :)) I was called in from of the class and they sang Happy Birthday, then I was surprised when our adviser called a Lorielle, Crystel, Ann and tenen! Jeff to tell a message for me. :D Ayun, I wasn't expecting it, lalo na yung kay Jeff, kasi crush ko sya =))))) tapos nag co-conclude pa yung iba na kami `daw` naku~ :)) how I just wish. haha

So ayun, though it was cute and sweet, I kind of don't like it, kasi parang nabadtrip sya tapos may tendency na lalo siyang mailang :( eh hindi na nga kami kasing close noon. :( kahit gusto ko, mas magandang friends na lang, walang malisya, mas masaya. db? hay. :)))

Then another lucky news is that I'm exempted in Filipino's periodical exam ;D kasi may homework kami na magcompose ng kanta related to our topic and I was pushed during the period to sing my song kasi ng birthday ko daw :D so ayun! Reward pala is exemption. YAY :)

Overall my day was good, I just felt a little weird after lunch. Ang panget kasi ng panahon, I often don't feel well lately :D and the only bad thing is that the person I was expecting to care more doesn't and those whom I don't even expect to remember were the ones to greet me first, akalain mo si Lorielle yung unang sumalubong sa`kin kaninang umaga to hug me and say Happy Birthday? aww, I was actually expecting some of my closest friends, but they seem to forget. Nagulat pa nga sila and said, `ay oo nga pala, birthday ni Zai` >.<>

This day was good, I saw those person who really care, who deserves my trust :) Lalo na yung mga elem friends ko. I miss them, kahit ang dami dami na nagbago, when we talk, it seems that everything just happened yesterdat :)

So long.

2010-10-11T02:23:00.000-07:00

Howdy bloggers? :) I hope there's still someone out there visiting my blog. lol :) it just seems that everyone already moved :(

I seriously missed blogging and I was on hiatus for a month because honestly, I don't know what good can I express anymore. I got tired of stuffing my frustrations here. So there's been a lot that happened and it was like a blur for me, everything for this year is just so fast we can't even savour the moment. Everything's like a routine. Everyone's busy and tired and stressed out yet no one's enjoying anything >.<>

I know that my last post was about our acquaintance party and I was sort of emo. haha =))) after that was the month of September and we had our intramurals and alam naman natin na kapag intrams ang daming activities :) so the week before that was loaded, practice and preparations everywhere and actually, at some point of the past events I was genuinely honest that I wasn't elected for the school council. It's a lot of work and you'll still get to be blamed. ugh :D The side effects of being in charge. hrhr :D

I don't have lots of pics because I wasn't that happy during the 4 days of free time because I had a period. hah~ It sucks =)) and I was a total KJ for that event. :D

But even though everything's getting into our nerves this year, we still try to catch up and escape from stress with friends :) October and September is birthday month! yay :) and we celebrated Lep's birthday hilariously. :DD

We had our swimming lessons before the party so I sort of look wasted. :)))

Then last week was our United Nations and celebration for World's Teachers Day and all I can say is that it's lame and a major failure, everything this years seems so rush. HAPIT =)))) That's why everytime I arrive home all I crave for is sleep. All I can think about is how many hours can I rest, how many things shall be done the next day. Then the next day I woke up I always want to skip school, but whenever reality wakes me up I realize how much I would miss if I'd skip school, then when I'm at school all I can think is `boring naman~ sana di na lang ako pumasok` =)))

Bottomline is, everything this year sucks. ALMOST :( It's so different from last year. This year is so busy, so loaded, so hard :|

K. Enough of school stuffs =)) tomorrow'a my big day and I don't know what to feel. This is the last day of my 14th year of existence and I'm starting to think of things that made me better, made me different from who I was a year ago. I can still even remember everything last year, I can still remember what I did a day before my Birthday. I can remember what happened exactly a year ago :) It's Ironic, I haven't even realized I'm fourteen until now, until there's one remaining day before I get a year older. hay.

Funny how time flies, sometimes we want to skip the days and jump in to the future, but when we get there, it's when we realize how much we missed. How many chances of making change we let go. I'm turning fifteen tomorrow, and I'm not sure of what's gonna happen. :)

I just hope I could get through this teenage years in one piece, and with lots of memories I'll either regret of laugh at when the time of wrinkles come :)

Empty Smiles

2010-08-23T04:30:00.000-07:00

I miss blogging, but I'm back on the state of not knowing what to blog again. hihi :))

Last week was one of the memorable weeks of my HS life so far because it was our Periodical week and also our Acquaintance Party.

Ayun, emo na naman ako :))) there's just a lot of things going on my mind right now, on what's happening on my life and I'm just sort of missing something. I badly want something I can't have. :) Oh well, siguro meron ako pero hindi ko pa napapansin :) I just miss the feeling :D

I'll kwento more further when I'm on the mood :D The Party was fun but I wasn't happy :)) I laugh, I smile, it was good but It wasn't the happy me :D

FRESHMEN

2010-08-06T20:28:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was our celebration for Linggo ng Wika and again, for the third time, We lost :)

From first year up to now we're a loser in Sabayang Pagbigkas though this year was the only year I got active, wala lang, I guess it's just not our genre as students and yesterday the Freshmen won :D

The higher years were like `aww. UNFAIR` because we all thought that the fourth year would won as champion because we've witnessed how great they were but not as good as last year's senior. :) We were sort of pissed because those First year students had their trainor who was a teacher and we though there's some bolahan among the judges that happened :D haha.

Though for me, as I look at those kids faces yesterday I didn't felt envious of their victory because I remembered I was exactly like this two years ago, We were this Happy and blooming and enthusiastic two years ago and I miss it. :( The outcome of the program was clearly obvious for me since the beginning of our practice because I was annoyed everyday. Haha :) I just agreed to joined despite the consequences of it because of the teacher who insisted and the 2 points incentive :D

The first year of my high school life was the best as well as the worst. My first year was joyful, my first year was exciting and as never boring. :) Yes, I had conflict with friends, I had misunderstanding with them but through it I learned, I saw those persons who never let me go. I saw those people who truly deserve me. It has been two years but the memories are just like yesterday. The campus has changed, the familiar faces have faded but whenever I see that place we used to `tambay` the field we used to run on, the rooms we once lived was still on my mind :( nakakalungkot lang ulit, Everything is different now, more difficult, more complicated but it still leaves me empty, bored of what happens everyday. I guess I just miss those persons who left and the fact that things will never be the same again is just hard to accept.

July 2008 :)

As I look at those happy faces yesterday I can't help but wonder, `Why do people lifts you up and make you happy just to let you go and break you down when everything turns worse?` Naisip ko na `ganito din kami nung first year eh` all out support samin yung teachers, sobrang suportado kami kaya siguro kami nanalo :))))))) Ganun din naisip ko nung first year `aha mas magaling kami sa higher years, PANALO` :))) you know, Like an ego booster. haha

Naisip ko na para lang pala tong floating :))) Sa una aalalayan ka, kakargahin ka sa tubig, tapos pag tingin nilang kaya mo na. Bigla kang bibitawan :) may benefits naman, pero may negative side din. Kasi kailangan mo pang makainum at mapasukan ng tubig bago ka matuto. I guess it all applies in life. Namimiss din kasi namin yun, yung may tutulong samin at hindi lahat kami :( ganun din sa pamilya, kapag pinapakealaman ka ng mga magulang mo maiinis ka, pero kapag naman pinabayaan ka na sa sarili mo, there will come a time where you'll miss having someone who'll help you out. Someone who'll object and sometimes agree with your decisions. :)

Wala lang, Everything's just totally different right now. I didn't saw this coming, I thought it will stay as is but with the span of two years, I can't imagine how things so many things happened t, how situations changed, how friends betrayed me :) It's bittersweet but nevertheless I'm thankful of what I've gained through all that has broken :D

Ang drama :) but yes, I'm slowly seeing the beauty behind distractions. I slowly appreciates the life I have.

The Phase of Life that SUCKS

2010-08-04T02:32:00.000-07:00

Some people would say that loneliness is the worst feeling ever, but for me it's not. I would say it's emptiness.

When you're sad then it's your choice, because you can always divert it or do something that would make you happy but when you don't feel anything you just don't know, it's as if losing the base of your happiness. You're not happy but you're neither sad. It sucks.

I think I'm on that phase again. I just can't give a name to what I feel everyday. I laugh at jokes, I smile at friends but when it's gone, nothing remains. Parang hallow na hallow yung pakiramdam ko. LUTANG. I feel so tired but I haven't done anything, I have loads of stuff to do but I don't feel fullfilled. Haaaaay.

We had our baking activity yesterday although it wasn't realling baking. We just prepared pancakes and we'll just decorate it, tapos yun na yung i-gegrade. Tsk. Me and my groupmates have been ready since last weekend, we spend the whole weekend planning what to do for the activity and asked Angel's mother how to do the icing. I've decided that instead of cooking the pancakes at home and just bring it because our teacher said the time was too short so I asked Therese to bring the WAFFLE MAKER. Ayun, we rushed yesterday but luckily we finished. Maganda nga yung gawa namin eh, may icing talaga compared sa iba na ginawa lang nilang bedding but we got a low score of 87 tapos 2 lang yung 90 which is considered as highest. :( Our teacher said the pancake needs more water kasi `Maganit` daw :( I regret not presenting the cake myself instead, sana may `bola` factor pa saka sana naexplain namin na `Ganyan po talalaga kapag waffle` haay :( Oh well let's move on. Ang importante nairaos namin ng maayos :)

Today was just like the other days, Practice for Sabayang Pagbigkas which I'm always pissed because of Crystel. The only consolation for the Practice is the dismissal :) kasi kasabay ko si crush. haha :))) Pero hindi naman ako umaasa, I'm just sort of looking for something or that feeling that I would feel at least happy or the butterflies. hehe :))

GTG now, we have a quiz on Chemistry tomorrow. THE FREAKING PERIODIC TABLE :(

Update

2010-08-02T05:08:00.000-07:00

These past few days, or I mean since the classes have started I have felt nothing but stress.

My last entries shows how pissed and annoyed I am on what's happenning everyday inside the class and I think It's still as is. Everyday would be ordinary bla bla bla and I'm often pissed and starting to get tired of the same routine and attitude everyone else keep on doing.

Minsan pagpasok ko tatamarin ako, lahat nagtatanong anong assignment, may quizz ba or bla bla bla. Eh minsan badtrip din ako at wala sa mood sumagot or magentertain ng mga masyadong obvious question kaya ayun, nakakatamad. Pagdating naman ng uwian lahat maingay magtatanungan ng kung anong meron bukas. Hay.

Ewan, may topak ako lately, I want something new with my life, madalas din ako emo kasi parang na o-OP na naman ako sa mga kaibigan ko pero hindi naman. Haaaaay.

There's just a lot of things that happened and I was hesitant to blog about it because I don't want to reread by blog and see negative thoughts of events that happenned. Pero kahit naman stressful may mga consolation pa din :) last friday was Jamaica's Birthday so kahit sobrang HAGGARD na pumunta pa din kami. Meron kasing SABAYAN :( and it's another frustration to blog about. haaay. These last days I was just trying to distract myself by playing BAKING LIFE and MILLIONAIRE CITY at FACEBOOK. hehe :)

Minsan kahit nakakainis sila, nakakatuwa pa din. Minsan talaga may sumpong ako. Lalo na pag pagod badtrip kulang sa tulog tapos kukulitin pa :)))

P.S.

I'll try to update this again as often as I can :) nakakatamad din kasi minsan kapag wala ng nagbabasa and everyone seems to be so busy too :)

Oh My God

2010-07-11T03:42:00.000-07:00

I was upset and irritated last Thursday and Friday and was literally haggard.

Thursday was the first part of our Nutrition Month celebration and the cook fest. We were bored since morning because teachers and participants were busy for the preparation, we did nothing, lots of free time and tambay mode. After lunch, the SBO officers announced that we should already proceed to the gym because the program will start in a few minutes, so I told Paulo to help me carry the things to the locker then proceed to the gym to save seats, kya lang pagdating naman namin dun bawal pa pumasok. BV. Thursday was a major FAIL! The students were so noisy tapos sobrang nainis pa ako kay Rosabelle, that slut. NAKO! Since campaign tuesday inis na ako sa kanya, She's from 3rd year Rizal and absolutely without breeding. Sobrang plastic niya! I told her along with her classmates to move a bit and occupy the empty spaces for us, my section, to be able to sit on our designated seats, pero sabi ba namin. `tingnan niyo po, hindi na kasya` I mean, she's STUPID! Kasi yung seats parang stairs na style, may 3 steps tapos sila nag tipon tipon dun sa taas, so I told her na mag transfer para magbalance per section. ANG TANGA TALAGA! Super! She's so plastic, her section was so disrespectful, nung campaign namin ang bait bait kunware tapos nung botohan pinunit pa nila yung cartolina namin dahil wala na silang iboboto sa Glee party. Hay. I can say that we're lucky to lose because there are really students who doesn't know the word Respect.

The 1st day of program was major fail. Ang init and it was boring, because we're not allowed to make noise nor watch our representatives for the cook fest, so tunganga lang kami dun. Another thing is we're not allowed to exit the gymnasium, hindi sila nagpapalabas so bawal bumili ng water or whatsoever. BV talaga, tapos kahit tapos na lahat magluto hindi pa rin nagpalabas hangang sa maubos yung time *_*

My brother dear was a participant but unfortunately they didn't win, pati sila Crystel. Aww :) we didn't join kasi kami kami din maglalaban, per year kasi.

Friday was just fine, I wasn't that upset because Lorielle was a bit quiet. hehe :) I was just worried with Jamaica because she's not doing her job seriously! I kept on boosting up her confidence, I kept on telling her na `ako nga nanalo dati, KAYA MO YAN` because she's saying na ang se-sexy daw ng kalaban niya :D That morning was tambay modez ulit :) because I am not a participant so we just played chess inside the classroom and checked some seatworks.

For the Program, IT WAS A BLAST =))) OH MY GOD. I'm currently LSSED on Usher's OMG :))) I was saying OMG with its tune :D so Ayun, it was the 2nd day of the celebration and the contest proper for Idol kong Bibo :) I was supposed to join but I was already a title holder and was busy for the SBO campaign so ayun. Sayang si Jeff pa naman yung kasalai :)) crush ko dn siya. HAHAHAHA

I was like this when they announced Jeff as the Champion. As in :)) sobrang asar ako pagkatapos ng program kasi ang pula pula ko daw :D I was literally melting. HAHAHA :)) I-hug ko pa daw siya and i-congratulate, pero di ko na kaya kasi pawis na pawis ako. haha

I was unbelievably LOUD and CRAZY and LAUGHING and HAPPY that afternoon, sobrang sigaw. haha :)) then the talent portion, wohoooooo! I was laughing and I was snapping, pushing, punching Jenny, my seatmate, HAHAHA :)) true, ganun ako eh, nanghahampas :D sobrang laughtrip and another thing is. PAREHO SILANG NANALO :)) My classmates Jeff and Jamaica, Jamaica for 2nd place and Jeff as the Champion and Best in Talent GRABE :))))) I was tomato red then :D sobrang talon, plus I won 2nd Place for Essay writing contest and placed Top 2 for NAT :)) I honestly didn't expected it kasi I was sabaw during the exam :D I was guessing the answers. Hehe :) si Therese ang first :) She's really smart but not that active in curricular activities, we've been classmates since Grade 2 and she's one of my few dearest friends :)

Look at us. Haggard =DDD This was my only decent pic. haha

Saturday - Yesterday we celebrated my brother's birthday at a private pool in Pansol. The orginal plan was to held it at school but at the last minute, they called and said that the pump was broken. Ayun, my brother was upset with the news kasi nung Friday lang sinabi saka nakakahiya naman sa mga nainvite na niya, so my Dad just looked for an alternative at Pansol, I didn't invite my friends because I wasn't sure of anything and the plan was a bit rush and also some of my brothers classmates were not allowed, but it was fun nonetheless. My grandma and cousins were there and BV pa yung Tita ko and Ramon =)) Basta, It's too complicated to elaborate. HAHA :)) masyado lang nakaka stress and muntik pa magkagulo kahapon :D

Ang dilim :) The resolution made us look more stressed out =)))) HAHA, and yeah, I am only girl, well, long story kung bakit naging ganun :D I remember that I have posted something here about my Family. It's sad how things changed since my lolo passed away :( My dad's going back to Saudi next Friday. Aw :)

This week is another tough week because of this Sabayang Pagbigkas in Preparation for Linggo ng Wika. Ugh, katatapos lang magsisimula na ulit. haha :)

Fed Up

2010-07-08T02:34:00.000-07:00

Nagsasawa na ako, may mga times kasi na paulit ulit ulit at ulit na lang. Nagsasawa na ako sa tanong ng tanong ng tanong. Napapagod na ako kasasagot sagot sagot. Hay, bat ba hindi nila gamitin common sense nila? GRABE! Minsan gusto ko dn ng katahimikan. Hay

Badtrip na araw to, elaborate ko na lang kapag di ako tinamad.

Birthday pala kahapon ng brother ko, 13 na siya tapos mas malaki na sa`ken. AJUJUJU =))))

Humility

2010-07-06T02:13:00.000-07:00

This day was an opposite of yesterday. I was in a bad mood since this morning because of irritating Jamaica. Naiwan daw kasi niya yung Homework niya kahapon samen eh yung kay Ann lang naman yung nakita ko. ughh! kainis.

Next is the seating arrangement :( nalipat na naman lahat! pumanget! tapos ako na lang yung hindi pa nagpapalit ng chair. aw aw aw.

Then at dismissal, a teacher called me and told me to join the Vincetian'c Chronicles so I just nod tapos sakto naman na nandun na naman yung dalawang magaling; si Lorielle at Crystel. Ayun :)) I don't know, nagsisimula na akong magsawa sa mga taong nagmamagaling, I mean they want everything, they want to do this, do that, they love being an utusan. Tapos dahil nanalo nga si Lorielle doble doble yung position niya sa clubs then sabi niya kanina nag quit daw sila. I mean, eff, just like that? :)) mag reresign ka na lang bigla sa responsibility.

Si Lorielle, sabi nga ni Therese, walang ka humble humble sa katawan. Yes, you know the answer, do you have to boast and rub it in everyone's face? Sabi ko sa kanya she talks to much na hindi siya aware sa mga nagiging apekto ng sinasabi niya and she just answered kaya naman daw niyang panindigan. TSK.

Nakakainis. Nagsasawa na ako sa kanila, lahat alam nila, lahat gusto nila, LAHAT LAHAT LAHAT napupuna nila. There's nothing wrong with being a grade conscious student as long as you're still sensitive enough with what people around you may feel. Nakakainis. ANG YABANG.

Awesome!

2010-07-05T05:00:00.000-07:00

SO YEAH :) we lost. HAHA :) Isa lang yung nanalo sa Partylist ko and that's my Secretary pero honestly, NO SWEAT. NO REGRETS :) Parang masaya pa nga ako na talo kasi mas madali lahat, akala nila ito na yung success pero sa totoo lang simula pa lang to :D

I'm happy because I did well, all of us. I don't regret anything because I've seen the people who are true to me. I felt so AWESOME during last week kahit na sobrang haggard.

Right now I can say that I am genuinely happy and fulfilled, parang wala na kong mahihiling pa :D So moving on, this day was also awesome. We had our Quizz on Chem, Seating arrangement and it was kinda awful :) I was feeling annoyed and suffocated this morning not because of the results but because of Lorielle. GRABE >_> ANG INGAY NIYA, and she keeps on boasting about their Victory, as if naman may care ako di ba? :) and She stares at Jelsie in a bad way kasi baka daw nadaya sila or nag aalburoto siya dahil konting votes lang nakuha niya sa klase. THE EFF :))) She wants more? hahaha. We were so irritated of her until it was time for the seating arrangement kasi at last, nahiwalay na siya sa mga kauri niya :D nagwatak watak sila :) My place remained as is but my seatmate, Angel, was transferred behind me so my current seatmate is Jeric :) AYUN, everything's fine, I just don't like the new formation of the seats which is 3 by 4 by 3 na dating 4 by 4, para kasing sumikip at uminit.

First time ko din makakuha ng score na 1/30 sa QUIZZ =))) yeaaaaaah. It's hilarious! It was a super duper surprise quizz so ayun, walang pumasa, nabansagan pa kaming TAMAD. haha :)) dumaan daw kasi ang Weekends ng hindi man lang namin nabasa yun, nakanang naman di ba? :)) tama nga naman, dumaan lang talaga ang weekend. :) Hindi ko nga nafeel. :)

So ayun ulit, We had the Poster Making for T.L.E this afternoon and I AM REALLY REALLY NOT GOOD AT DRAWING :D I sweaaaaar! wala akong talent jan, even sa singing or dancing except pag napilit. haha sa friday na kasi nutrition day namin and I was supposed to be a contestant for Idol kong Bibo but I ran for SBO so I gave that up. I was also planned to be the President for Peers Counsilors Club but I gave way for the SBO and I honestly don't regret anything! Boyfriend na lang talaga kulang ngayon, PERO YUNG HINDI BASTA BASTA :D

Jam, Ann and Angel was with me later this afternoon to prepare Jam for Friday but we end up talking and talking and talking. HAHA :) Ayun, same things, They accidentally opened my Facebook and saw Ex's relationship request. LOL :)

I haven't confirmed or ignored it yet. HAHA.

Eh kasi we were talking about our crushes, we were defining every guy in our classroom :D laughtrip, basta it was so random but I enjoyed it. I opened something personal about them, sabi ko kasi gusto ko magkaboyfriend ulit before HS ends but I want it special, ayoko nung try lang. I explained that it's really different, I have suitors, pero walang spark! I have crushes, but they're not boyfriend figures. We talked about guys appropriate for us. Ayun :) ang hirap kasing i-explain dito. I have shared a part of me that's kept all along, I have shared something na kay Lorielle at sa mga bilang na tao ko lang nasabi.

This day was awesome, even I got a score of 1! LOL :)

A friend and a Special Friend

2010-07-03T11:00:00.000-07:00

I just feel like sharing what I feel. Dahil madaling araw na naman at wala akong gaanong ginagawa. Hell week is over and elections too so yeah, I have time to waste again.

Wala lang, para kasing namimimiss ko na naman siya you know who dahil gaano man ako kasaya sa mga kaibigan ko ngayon, gaano man nagevolve ang pagsasamahan namin, iba pa rin kapag may special someone ka.

Hindi naman ako basta basta pwedeng pumasok sa isang relasyon dahil gusto ko lang. Iba kasi kapag iba yung nararamdaman mo sa tao, ewan ko, parang gusto ko ng bestfriend/boyfriend figure.

Kahapon kasi, Friday, in the middle of nowhere bigla akong nasenti. Kasi election, at di ko man aminin kinakabahan ako lalo na sa magiging feedback manalo man o matalo na okay lang sa`kin kahit ano. Alam mo yun, wala kasi yung close friends ko, eh syempre hindi naman pwedeng lagi akong may constant kausap. Bigla kong naisip na iba pa rin talaga kapag may someone special ka kahit marami kang close friends o barkada. Iba pa rin yung sense of security na alam mong hinding hindi ka ma i-isolate sa isang tabi kasi may reserve ka na.

Iba pa rin pag special o nagiisa yung mahal mo. Yung walang katulad. Yung boyfriend na bestfriend na close friend. Yun yung hanap ko, ayoko sa basta basta na lang para may matawag na boyfriend. Gusto ko yung ganun, hindi man pang level up, alam mong may isang taong hinding hindi ka iiwan dahil mahal ka. Okay lang na magaway kami o tampuhan, basta nanjan pa rin siya.

Ang senti ko. Basta. Narealize ko lang na iba talaga.

Gusto ko lang i-blog to, kinakabahan kasi ako sa results although either way is fine with me. Sabi nga namin ni Angel parang ayaw namin manalo, kasi nabasa niyo naman last year kung gaano ka stressful saka sa ngayon ang hirap lumiban sa klase lalo na sa Math. Pamatay. Saka ayun, nagpaparamdam na naman siya, tapos ang dami kong crush, pero hangang dun lang yun. Iba pa rin talaga siya, kahit LDR kami. IBANG IBA >.<>

Kinakabahan ako sa results. Kasi pag natalo ayoko ng loser figure, ayoko ng kaaawaan. Pero masaya ako sa nakikita kong suporta ng mga schoolmates at teachers kahit di maiiwasan yung mga walang modo at bastos na studyante masaya pa rin ako sa obvious na kami yung gustong manalo :) Pero pag talo okay lang, siguro 1 week lang yung init ng issue, after nun back to normal na. Mag fofocus na lang ako sa classroom at sa mga kaibigan ko ngayon :) Pag naman nanalo, mas mahirap. Mas matagal na isipan at stress at sa bandang huli sa`min pa ang sisi. Either way would be okay :)

Ang labo. Basta sa mga nanliligaw ngayon wala, after ng bolahan wala na, sandaling kilig lang. Kaya parang ayaw ko. Wala. Wala talaga :( hay.

Campaign Tuesday

2010-06-29T15:41:00.000-07:00

It was FUN. It was TIRING. It was Irritating. It was overwhelming.

Last Monday, Angel, Me, Ann and Jamaica went to Crossing to buy the give aways. Kasi yung unang plan Fan yung ipamimigay namin sa meeting de Avanze kasi ngayon lang dapat kami pupunta ng divisoria kaya lang napagisip isip namin na masyadong magastos saka hindi lahat makakatangap so alam na yung iisipin ng Students.

Saka mejo nahihiya pa dn ako sa mga ka-partylist ko kasi ako yung president so I should shoulder majority of the works kaya ayun, after namin mag meeting nung Monday kami na yung pumunta sa crossing. Yung give aways pala namin is yung telephone wire.

Inisip kasi namin na nasa uso siya tapos 4 colors naman yung nirerepresent namin, Saka it symbolizes us. We're flexible and convenient as leaders, we can be their friends, their advisers and as well as leaders at saka hindi kami nababali :) LOL, joyful pa yung colors.

So we first entered the 1st year students, para GV daw sa umaga kasi first year mababait pa saka hindi kami mababastos dun and there would be much interaction between. Nung una tinatanong ko muna silang lahat ng `Okay ka lang ba?` `Kinakabahan ka? Ayos lang yan` kasi I want them to feel at ease before we start the campaign para hindi magmukang ako lang yung prepared di ba, saka I'm also concern sa nararamdaman nila lalo na kapag hindi maganda.

The interaction between the first year students was AWESOME :) mejo friends friends na nga kami, Our goal for this year is to break the ice between leaders and followers, our goal is to make them feel comfortable for giving suggestions and opinions for us. We want to emphasize that Leaders are also followers too and we can relate to them.

Sa simula ng campaign papakilala muna syempre, yung tono ko is `I'm Z to the A to the I,R,A. Then uulitin ko tapos sila naman :) so ayun, parang recitation na rin and nagpaparticipate naman sila. We want the campaign to be less boring so may mga batuhan ng jokes :)

Natapos kami sa 6 na first year around 9:00 so 15 minutes pahinga muna kami then sinunod na namin yung section ko kasi yung sa second year may mga teachers na maabala kami, nkakahiya naman kung dodoble kami ng pasok sa kanila. hehe :) Dun sa section ko syempre ina-at ease ko muna yung mga kapartylist ko tapos hindi na rin sila gaanong ilang dahil sa nakita naming pag tanggap ng mga first year :) Ayun, si Lorielle may tanong =)) ang tanong niya in english pa ha, sabi niya `If you were a part of SBO last year at walang nagawa, how can you make sure that you can fulfill your platforms` and sagot ko naman `Yes, but I WAS JUST A PART last year but now I am the ONE leading it` may emphasis talaga yung WAS A PART. haha :) then ayun, mahaba yung sagot ko eh. Basag naman siya, tapos may tanong din na `Ano sa tingin niyo ang lamang niyo sa kabilang partido` which is natanong din sa kanila, ang sagot ko naman `Because we are not afraid to make mistakes and accept corrections, because we believe that it what makes us an effecient leader. I can say that it's an advantage that we are not PERFECT because perfection has no place for improvement. Oha pang Ms. Universe. LOL =))

Pagdating namin sa 2nd year it went smoothly :) kasi yung mga 2nd year sa kabila wala namang issues samin :) so ayun. Masaya ulit. haha =)) Before lunch dumerecho muna kami sa 3rd year C at dun kami mejo nabastos. Sabi kasi namin na they can approach us anytime dahil hindi naman kami mga Suplada at Suplado tapos may mga nag Weeeeeh, so si Ate Faith, my secretary, siya na lang yung sumagot. Nakakabastos lang kasi they keep on murmuring on each other habang nagsasalita kami, parang nagiisip sila ng tanong na hindi namin masasagot =)) Sorry na lang sila. HAHA :) Nakakabastos lang yung mga babaeng kala mo kung sino wala namang K :)

LUNCHTIME was great! Tatlo kaming sabay sabay nag lunch kasi hinintay pa namin matapos yung teacher sa classroom namin bago pumasok. Habang papasok kami sa canteen may mga nakasign na Glee tapos tinatawag kaming `Go ate Glee` ng mga first year :) LOL, ang sarap sarap sarap nun sa feeling, nakakawala ng pagod :) kaya to the tenga yung smile ko nun. Tapos may isang student akong nadaanan na nakasmile saken so nag Hi ako :) LOL talaga, sabay tanong naman ni Erispe ng `Kilala mo yun`?. So sagot ko hindi, haha, nag hi lang ako dun sa bata, basta masaya :"> Crush ko pa yun. hahahahaha

Nung tapos na kami kumain tapos pabalik na, yung mga nakakasalubong naming 1st year students nag sisign ng Glee tapos nagsasabi ng `Gleeks kami` :) ang super super heart warming. Feeling ko pwede na kong matalo. So nung magkakasama na kami kwentuhan muna, laughtrip =))) pinagtatawanan namin yung bloopers every classroom, may nakanganga daw kasi habang nagsasalita kami =))) LULZ talaga. Iniiwasan na kasi naming isipin yung mga nambabastos, tulad nung isang bond paper na dinikit namin sa classroom, nakuha nila Joy na may nakasulat na kabalikat =)) tapos mag nagsabi din na yung mga kapartylist ko daw walang alam at sarili ko lang iniisip ko. :) Sabi ko sa kanila Hayaan niyo na lang yun. Wag kayong magpaapekto kasi may mga ganung tao talaga, kaya ayun :) Tawanan na lang kami hangang dumating sila Ate Faith.

After Lunch may 7 na classrooms pa kaming papasukan, 19 kasi lahat lahat. so yung 7 na yun kailangan nming pagkasyahin sa 2 and a half hours eh malas dahil lunch karamihan ng papasukan namin, so bandang 1 na kami nakasimula. Nagsimula kami sa 4-a kung saan yung kalaban ko na pres. Ang tagal namin dun kasi ang dami niyang tanong, nag sunod sunod pa :) pero lahat naman nasagot ko :) sabi nga ng Vice ko na taga dun din sa classroom na yun parang Hot na Hot daw siya magtanong saken =) so Ayun, successful naman kaya lang nagmadali na kami pagdating sa iba, tapos na-short pa yung giveaways namin :)

Ayun, all in all masakit ang paa naming lahat :) tapos after nun hindi pa ako umuwi kasi nagbalot ng ballot boxes, pero yung mga kapartylist ko hindi ko na nirequire mag stay kasi alam kong pagod na sila. It was fun :) majority naman maganda yung naging result. Siguro 3-4 sections lang kami alangan :)

Off Topic;

Last Saturday we went to Canlubang to visit Gillian saka para icelebrate na din yung Birthday niya, Hindi na kasi namin siya classmates :( It was FUN, 14 kaming lahat so Isang JEEP. LOLZ talaga :) ang ingay namin sa Jeep tapos katabi ko pa si Crush, super super super kilig. hahahaha :) Kasama rin namin si Ranniell na lumipat na ng school :( Bumili na rin kami ng silver bracelet as a gift to Jayvee, sayang hindi siya nakasama. So yun nga :) nag status ako sa FB na I've lost one but gained many :) Sabi ko na lang sa sarili ko na hindi siya deserving para iyakan ko dahil hindi niya ko kayang irespeti bilang kaibigan :)

A friend.

2010-06-26T03:32:00.000-07:00

Yes, I'm running for SBO and since Thursday, I have seen support from people I don't even expect. It's overwhelming, it's flattering, their words of wisdom is heart warming. Hindi ko ineexpect na may mas madaming taong naniniwalang kaya ko. Pero meron ding tao na super nakasakit saken :(

I ran because of my friend's support and encouragement, pero 1 special person yung talagang inasahan ko. I cried last Thursday because of her. Sabi niya kasi saken `Zaira tumakbo ka tapos kunin mo ko sa partylist mo para hindi na tayo magkalaban` so I held on to her word. Inasahan ko yun kasi sa kanya nanggaling, I ran because I was confident she'll stand by my side tapos nung balikan ko sya, bigla ko nalaman na nakuha na siya sa kabila.

My heart broke, feeling ko lobo akong pinalobo tapos biglang pinutok. Right that moment hindi ko na napigil yung iyak ko, I was already feeling helpless dahil ang lakas na ng kalaban and no one seems to like me or running with me. I mean it was a shock for me, nanginginig pa nga ako habang humahanap ng pwedeng ka-partlylist. Of course inuna ko yung lower years kasi confident na ko sa mga kaibigan ko, confident na ko na tatakbo siya with me, tapos biglang BOOM :( Ang sakit sakit nun. I was not myself last friday, kaya na delay yung meeting namin, nakalimutan ko pa ngang magbayad dun sa tricycle driver sa kakaiyak. Hay. Iyak tawa ako nun with my friends habang naguusap tapos paguwi ko sa bahay ayun. Haaay.

Kahit nag sorry siya masakit eh, akala ko nga ok na nung araw na yun pero pagpasok ko sa classroom kahapon :(( eto na si parinig. Haaaay. I can't understand why I was to blame even though I was the one hurt. I mean lumalabas na ako pa yung masama dun sa group of friends niya, Can't she just cut it out? Masakit pa saken yun paparinig pa sya! Haaay. If it was a different situation, if she didn't marked her words and promised, It wouldn't hurt this bad.

The issue would have been through, I would just let it go and move on, madali lang yun kung hindi niya ipapamuka at ipapamuka na ako ang masama. Kanina nag gm pa sya ng Goodluck daw samen, I mean, yeah the objective was good but it was damn insulting.

Sana man lang kahit hindi bilang kaibigan, bilang tao na lang irespeto niya ako at tigilan yung pagsasabi ng kung ano ano, wala na nga akong ginagawa eh. Nilululon ko na lang yung mga insulto niya, hindi sana masakit eh, kung hindi ko sya kaibigan :(

It's too much

2010-06-24T02:49:00.001-07:00

THIS DAY WAS OH MY GOD. I THINK THE MOST EMOTIONAL DAY IN MY 2010.

As expected, I'm running for SBO, and not just a position, BUT THE TOP POSITION :( It has been both overwhelming and emotional for me.

I've already said on my previous blog that if possible, I wouldn't want to run, pwede siguro kung lower positions but being a President isn't a joke. I mean okay, kaya ko kung sa kaya but it's not where everything counts, most of all I'm not that popular, I'm still a junior tapos kalaban ko Senior, tapos matagal na siya dun sa school. I mean WTF =))))))))) I can see the results already. haay.

But I'm so overwhelmed, I even cried kanina >.<>

I won't elaborate anymore. I'm both happy and sad for today. I'm not afraid to lose, I'm afraid to hurt those people who trusts me so much to put me in this position :(

Next friday would be the election so It would be busy days for me starting tomorrow.

Please pray for me :( or talk and give me advice right this time. I really need a helping hand. Thank you fellow bloggers.

Classroom Officials

2010-06-23T01:08:00.000-07:00

Today was our unexpected Election day and it was supposedly held on Friday, but guess what? :D

I was re-elected as the President again. YIEEEE =))) It's overwhelming, really, being elected consecutively for president for three years in my HS life. Haha, it just means my classmates trust me. Aww =)) Or maybe they see me as more considerate than some of my competitors.

So because it was classroom election today, tomorrow would be the meeting for SBO offcials, it was a tradition since last year that SBO officials would come from class officers. Kaya ayun, maraming nag-uudyok na tumakbo daw ako, even some of my teachers say so.

I'm still undecided yet because as much as I can, I want to focus on my studies and avoid complications by this year and our Guidance Counselor already asked me for his Peers Councilor Club, so yeah, I don't know If I would be running again because it would be a lot of work and it depends on the SBO adviser for this year. Kasi nga nasabi ko na din dito sa blog na yung Adviser last year wala namang nagawa, edi pati kami walang nagawa.

During Lunchtime, a friend asked me or rather talked to me. Si Obsequio, yung Boy trying not to be Gay na nai-blog ko. Haha. He asked me 'sino bago?' so syempre obvious na yung tanong niya, sabi ko naman wala but he still insists na may tinatago daw ako. LOL =)) sabi ko naman pano niya nasabi na meron nga? eh kasi lagi daw ako online tapos lagi daw ako nakasmile tapos lagi daw akong blooming. echos. haha. Ganun lang talaga ako, I hate complicated things and frowning won't lessen the problems in the world.

Pero actually meron, hindi ko lang feel kung meron pa ba talaga, parang wala na lang. Edi much better kung hindi ko na lang intindihin, Isa lang naman talaga yung inintindi ko eh =))) And I think he still thinks about me because of that `relationship request' on facebook. HAH =)) but we haven't talk for a long time now. So ayun, dahil ayaw ko naman sabihin at wala naman talaga akong sasabihin, we end up shooting clues about our crushes :"> syempre I won't blog about everything na kasi mahaba saka madetalye, but it was super tawa scene :"> Kasi adik ako eh, lol.

I know I'm a private person, some people even see me as mysterious. LOL =)) Pero siguro I just don't want too much people in my personal life, I just give high regard for my privacy and I'm also aware that not every people can understand you, so to avoid misinterpretations and complications, I'd rather not let anyone carry my cross. It would be useless and can be a problem for me. If I would have a special someone in the future, I would probably share it on my blog instead on the real people in my life. I don't want people minding my business that much, It may cause bankruptcy. Haha, specially in high school. I don't want everyone talking about US =)) I don't want too many people know about us because It may be used as a weapon against me, lalo na kapag mag competition sa classroom :D So ayun lang, only a few people knows majority about me, and it doesn't also mean that what I show people as me is Fake, It's true, but not the whole true me. I hope you know what I mean :)

Another shitty thing about school is the competition, lalo na pag sa first section, I mean it's already normal pero sana naman walang personalan di ba? =)) Typical of us filipinos, we don't want anyone better than us even its your friend or fellow citizen. Db sana be happy for each other na lang? Aware naman siguro sila na we have our abilities and liabilities, nagkataon na mas magaling lang ako sa kanila =)) chos. haha. Pero ayun nga, since they are/were my friends, I tried not to always participate para hindi masabihan ng kung ano, for their sake, pero alam mo yun? Wala na nga ako masyadong ginagawa, hindi na nga ako naka full effort grabe pa rin sila makapuna sakin. ): Included na yung position ko sa classroom since 1st year. TSK =)) Oh well, Maybe they get more irritated when I seem unaffected by their stare and issues about me. I still laugh hard and it seems to annoy them more =))) lulz. Okay, ano naman kasi mapapala ko kung papansinin ko yung mga reklamo nila saken? as far as I'm concerned is just I'm doing my best and It's not my fault if I seem dominant around the class. tsk.

I'm not boasting, I just know how to accept things mildly.

kthnxbye :) I have lots of research, reports and HW, just wish me luch for tomorrow :) GOOD DAY BLOGGERS :)

Stress

2010-06-21T04:48:00.000-07:00

School. The heat. The Boredom. The Stress.

I can't update everyday because of stess and fatigue I feel even though the day was pure of boredom. Grabe ang init, nowadays it's already a necessity to brink pamaypay with you.

Kanina nagusap kami ni Jayvee, Bakit kaya ganun noh? Kahit wala naman kayo masyadong ginawa sa buong araw pag uwi mo sa bahay drain na drain yung feeling mo. Super pagod, eh wala naman kayong ginawa? Lulz.

Last year yung baon kong tubig hindi pa umaabot sa kalahati hanggang uwian, ngayon bumibili pa ako ng tubig every lunch kasi kulang.

Grabe noh? Over over na talaga sa panahon ngayon. Samahan mo pa ng nakakaantok na subjects. Jusmiyo =))))

Toy Story 3

2010-06-21T04:07:00.000-07:00

Andy is now a 17-year-old and is heading off to college. The toys have long been stored inside a toy chest and are scheming out plans to make Andy play with them. Finally, Andy has to pack his things for college and decide whether he would want to store the toys in the attic or donate them to the local day care.

Eventually, Andy decides to bring Woody with him to college (wrong move, bruh) and store everybody else in the attic. The toys end up being thrown away by Andy’s mom, but the toys manage to escape. Thinking that Andy doesn’t care about them anymore, the toys decide to donate themselves to the day care.

The film kicks off its major plot after the toys arrive at Sunnyside Day Care. This little strategy that the film employed allowed the film to be literally filled with colorful toys that are equally endearing like those in the films before. At first, the main boss of Sunnyside, an old sweet-smelling pink teddy bear named Lotso, is welcoming to them, until things turn for the worse when it is revealed that he is really a conniving sonuvabitch. (via Tumblr)

Yesterday was Father's day so we went to SM to watch Toy Story 3.

The movie was touching, maybe for kids they won't see the part that touched us and they would have just enjoyed it, but for us teenager it did hit bulles eye.

I was already sobbing from the very start, from the part where they tried to get Andy's attention just to play with them, I remember my toys, my childhood memories and everything. What woody said about Andy was the best, he wasn't selfish. Kumbaga nasa itaas na siya pero tumalon siya pababa para sa mga kaibigan niya. He was at that College box but decided to get off just to explain things with his friends.

When they went to Sunndyside I also thought it was a cool place with cute little children but they were wrong, so was I. So Woody, even when he was in a safe place already, he came back to save his friends. walang iwanan.

It was one of the best prison break pixar movie, it was one of the funny parts, specially with Mr. Potato head and Ken, lulz =))) It's amazing how toys plan it in a playful manner. Ang cute cute nung naging Pickle head si Mr. Potato. haha

And another tearjerking part was at the garbage factory, when they were about to get burned and they just end up holding each others eyes. Aww, I cried hard there. Haha, iniisip ko na `at least sila pa rin magkakasama hangang huli` tapos biglang umepal yung aliens and rescued them.

Super nakakaiyak din yung last part. When Andy was describing how each one of them became part of his childhood, how each of the toys was special. It was also touching when Dolly held Woody and he instantly get it. Parang ayaw pa niya I-let go si Woody, Tapos sabi niya `He's special, and one special thing about him is that He'll never gonna give up on you. Ever.`

The movie made me realize lots of things, I remembered my childhood and my friends who became a part of my life.

I realized that we have to let go of things that's already through.

I realized that we have to release things that's too much for us to handle, because it would just be a burden for both parties. We have to break things to make it better.

I realized that it doesn't matter who leaves and who's left, because it still hurts in both parts.

I realized that we all have to move on, and by moving on, there are things that won't suit to be with us anymore. Another thing is friendship, Woody was there for Andy, The toys were ready to stay at the Attic as long as they're with him. I guess it's a friend's commitment to be with each other no matter what. Through thick and thin, They all stick together till the end.

The fact that people come and go is sad, but it all happens for the better. :(

Toy Story 3 was worth the wait, though I wasn't really expecting it to be that touching =))

Compliments

2010-06-19T18:59:00.000-07:00

I have been receiving awkward compliments since Summer.

Most of my mom's friends have been saying na `Yan na ba yung anak mo? Pumayat siya` tapos ako mag s-smile na lang :)) Lalo na nung before recognition tapos pagsasabi ng nanay ko na top 2 ako edi syempre ganun. Tapos sa school, a lot of new faces have been greeting me tapos some of my friends nag cocomment ng magaganda sa facebook, tapos pati teachers :))) lol talaga.

I mean, it's not that I hate receiving compliments, I'm just afraid with the consequences it might bring. Kung sasabihin ko naman na di ako natutuwa sa napapansin nila kalokohan na yun, natutuwa ako syempre, pero ayoko lang masyado tumaas yung expectations ng tao saken. I don't want other people or people around me to see me as lucky or perfect, yung ibang Parents ng classmates ko sasabihin `Ayan tingnan mo si Zaira, dapat ganyan ka din` ayoko ng ganun kasi minsan mahirap maging role model ng iba, kasi hindi naman ako perfect, saka ayoko ng may qouta palagi, minsan nakakapagod na din magisip everytime may gagawin ka kasi baka biglang mag iba yung tingin ng tao sayo.

Ayoko din masanay sa ganito, na laging proud yung tao saken, kasi baka biglang bumagsak sa isang iglap na pagkakamali ko. Ayoko masanay sa ganito kasi pano pag nag College ako? :) Ayoko lumaki ulo ko :)) I mean minsan kasi di maiiwasan na umakyat yung iba dun, ayoko masanay. Ayoko masanay na inaabot lahat ng expectations. Ayoko masanay na lahat ng gagawin ko bilang. Minsan nasosobrahan na ako sa perception ng mga tao saken.

I'm not that perfect, lalo na ngayon. Ayoko mawalan ng karapatan maging mahina.

Letters to Parents

2010-06-19T18:41:00.000-07:00

I haven't made anything yet, kahit nung mother's day hindi ako gumawa. Because I feel that Tumblr or Blogger won't justify how grateful I am for them even at times they are annoying to the highest level.

I can't find one adjective enough for them and I don't want my entry to look absurd. I love them, and I know I can make everyday special for them. Just study hard, masarap yung feeling na pinagmamalaki ka rin ng parents mo kahit minsan nakakahiya :"> at nakakainis din.

Happy Father's Day daddy. Kahit nakakainis ka minsan. :)))) Alam ko namang bumabawi ka lang. Sorry sa inyo ni mommy kung hindi ako kasing sweet ni Ading, pero sa ibang way naman ako bumabawi :)

First Hell Week

2010-06-18T04:30:00.000-07:00

I wasn't able to blog days before the school starts because my Dad arrived, so it was just the time we prepared everything. He arrived 5 days before school and he had lots of plan so it was a total rush hour.

We went to MOA to fix the iPod and my Laptop and bought some things. Wala lang, napagod lang kami, It was really big na mabibitin ka lang. Ang daming sosyal =)) I was sight-seeing most of the time. Hah! Ayun, we also went to my lola in Pampanga and I saw my cousins again tapos ayun, puro kwentuhan lng over the weekend. We got home Monday morning tapos derecho bili ng school supplies kaya ayun, super puyat before tuesday. >_<>

First Day - I was undecided whether to wear uniform or civilian so I was texting with some of my classmates the last minute >_<>

I arrived a little late at school and the gym was already crowded. It was irritating, The assembly, the line ups and everything, I hope it was just like last year that we would go directly to our classrooms and start the `kaekekan` inside. It was obviously unorganized because the lines were broken and of course, students are enthusiastic and noisy and crazy chit-chatting with friends they missed. They should have known it would happen and they shouldn't mixed us up with the elementary pupils.

The number of students are surprisingly many. So many faces and new teachers, I actually felt like a transferee if I haven't seen my friends. The first year consists of 6 sections, so Imagine, around 200 estimated new students plus transferees from the higher levels. There were a lot of repeaters too. Our section was also mixed up, some of my classmates last year were transferred to other sections and other section to us but they made arrangements na wag na sila ilipat, so we ended up with 6 new classmates. 4 girls, 1 from C. 2 boys, 1 from B.

The flag ceremony was boring. I mean for us old students, It's not that FUN anymore, plus the HEAT! OHMYGOD, I know you would agree that it's very very abnormal. Nakakamatay, kahit nakaupo ka lang tutulo pawis mo. Literally. I wasn't paying attention most of the time, all I did was laugh, hug, shout and poink my friends. HOHO =)))

Second Day - It was subject orientation day, some of the new teacher already gave their requirements and grading system, but not all of them were able to enter our class. So I can say second day was the `Start of the schoolyear`

Our adviser gave us our schedule, and it was okay at first. Ang dami naming break at vacant, hehe. Almost 2 hours ata yun tapos in between classes, last subjects pa ang Chem and History. Pero pagbalik ng adviser namin iba na >_<>Anak ng banak, PAMATAY~ considering na tapat pa kami ng faculty. AS IN.

7:00 - 8:00: Chemistry
8:00 - 9:00: English
9:00 - 9:40: History
9:40 - 10:00: Recess
10:00 - 10:40: Computer (W-TH)
10:40 - 11:40: Math
11:40 - 12:20: Filipino
12:20 - 1:00: LUNCH
1:00 -1:40: T.L.E
1:40 - 2:20: Mapeh
2:00 - 2:40: VACANT

See? IT'S SO UGH! CHEMISTRY SA UMAGA. walanjo! Tapos sino ba may gusto mag break ng uwian? =))) We realized it was so lame nung nagovertime yung Filipino teacher namin, edi syempre konti na lang yung lunch time. Nakakainis yung teacher na Late, tapos overtime pa. Ang lupit mangain ng oras yun. Masaya na sana yung una naming sched para may time kami magkopyayan sa umaga tuwing M, T, F. Di ba ang saya nun? LOL =))) Nakakainis yung vacant namin. Wala, tunganga lang kami niyan dahil bawal naman umuwi ng wala pang 3. Hay nako. SOBRANG INIT PA. Tapos super daming requirements, I mean kung ganun sana after na ng first day namili =)) ang te-arts pa sa Cattleya, may kulay na kailangan pa coveran ng colored paper. Haaaaay.

Third Day - MAJOR BV. Nagpa assignment ng bonggang bonga, buti na lang hi-tech na magkopyhan ngayon, via Facebook at Y!M na. =))

Ayun, the same routine. Thank god for bloopers because I'm major sabaw =))) I mean parang sobra sobra yung adrenaline ko na automatic yung jokes at humor ko. So not me, the serious look type na umeenglish pa =D Haay, I mean yun yung masaya eh, yung hindi sinasadyang joke or yung singit na mga banat :D Laughtrip. Minsan I feel stupid, yung kapag nag mumulti task, lalo na kapag puyat feeling mo talaga groggy. We had this grouping on English, syempre counting yun di ba? so nag count in eh may ginagawa ako, kaya pagabot saken nagkamali =)))) Instead na 1 ulit nasabi ko yung kasunod na number which is 7, eto naman si Jayvee tawa agad. LOL =)) Okay na din, sabay sabay kaming magugutom at naghihiraman ng pamaypay.

Fourth Day - TGIF :D today was okay, ewan. Most of us feels like it's already the middle of the schoolyear, pano ba naman may quizz na. Tapos BV sa MATH =))) I SWEAR, nahihirapan ako. It's effin confusing. Parang umiikot ikot lang yung rules, Imagine sasabihin mo lang kung Function or Not major nakakalito. Hay nako.

Then ayun, Lunch tumambay lang kami sa hallway tapos laughtrip, bawat dumadaan magtatawanan kami. Ang dami talagang bago, =))) may kamuka pa yung ex ko. LULZ =)) I mean it feels like so different yet familiar. We tried to play volleyball nung uwian pero ewan, hindi na ako sanay kasi wala na si Gillian :( wala na din yung adviser namin. Haaay. Nakakamiss, yung mga wala na. Major nakakamiss kasi honestly once upon a time nag wish ako na umalis na sila, Last memory na namin yung swimming nung March at yung Fieldtrip. It feels odd to see new faces sa dati mong classroom. IDK, maybe I just attach myself so much to things that occupied a special phase in my life. TGIF!

Being a Junior, It still feels like the same. Siguro I would say that the best year was Freshmen year, kahit may mga conflicts it was the most enthusiastic and unexpected and exciting year, alam mo yung feeling na your just so full of it :)) Haaaay, I wish this year would be fun and smooth for all of us, despite the changes.

Goodluck to us for SY: 2010 - 2011

And It was also my blog's first birthday last June, 12. Independence Day :D Sorry if I wasn't able to blog anything about independence.

What my blog says.

2010-05-29T04:45:00.000-07:00

Have you ever wondered why I named my blog bumdebum? ((:

Eh kasi ganito yan. Actually matagal ko na gusto mag blog, yung seryosong usapan talaga, yung may katuturan kumbaga, yung may magbabasa at may mapapala sila =)) LOL. I know I'm not a celebrity or an icon to look up to, my life isn't that wonderful also.

I was talking to my fellow teentalkers who are bloggers and I asked them about stuffs until I become interested on doing what I really wanted. I open this blog and figure things out with the help of Tepai. I was thinking of a good name, yung masarap pakingan at yung hindi common. I though of something bittersweet but declined the idea because it's been used already.

Then a word suddenly popped on my head; BUM. It's a word na napulot ko lang kung saan at napagalamang ang meaning nito ay [kayo na bahalang mag seach] =)) then I guessed I can't put that simple word for my url, so isip isip ulit. I though of Rihanna's song, Disturbia because of the `bumbumbedum` part (: I know you know it. So there, my Random thought gave me the name `BUMDEBUM` :)

Why am I blogging this? Wala lang, because It's summer when I made my blog and It's turning a year on June 12, yes. Independence day. haha.

I'm blogging about this because I've been so Lazy this past few days to blog something decent. HAH. I've been posting random stuffs on Tumblr and I don't think if I should post it here also, I've been doing nothing >.<>Because our visitors got home already last thursday.

Ayun. Ang gulo ko. and by the way, I got my books yesterday. AWW T_T I can't believe summer's ending alrady, and maybe that's why I'm doing nothing lately. I'm savouring my bum life till the last minute.

I'm TAGGED :)

2010-05-20T09:14:00.000-07:00

Thanks to Nice for this :) You are really Nice.

Please read first before you scroll down :)

1. What time did you get up this morning?

- uhm, 2 pm actually :)

2. How do you like your steak?

- burger steak na lang :D

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema?

- Shrek :)

4. What is your favorite TV show?

- Phineas and Ferb, Spongebob, PBB and Suite Life on Deck

5. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be?

- Europe :) or Paris

6. What did you have for breakfast?

- It's already lunch when I woke up, so none :)

7. What is your favorite cuisine?

- Japanese and Filipino

8. What foods do you dislike?

- Buro :) and Shrimps because I'm allergic

9. Favorite place to eat?

- anywhere with food :D

10. Favorite dressing?

- Ceasar and Mayonnaise

11. What kind of vehicle do you drive?

- uh, BIKE :D

12. What are your favorite clothes?

- Shirt and Jeans :) I'm not really into dresses.

13. Where would you visit if you had the chance?

- Moon :P

14. Cup 1/2 empty or 1/2 full?

- A half full, of course.

15. Where would you want to retire?

- Countryside.

16. Favorite time of day?

- 3 to 5 am :)

17. Where were you born?

- Quezon City

18. What is your favorite sport to watch?

- Volleyball

19. Who do you think will not tag you back?

- Yung Inactive, though I hope everyone will tag me back :)

20. Person you expect to tag you back first?

- Idk, yung una sigurong mag o-online

21. Who are you most curious about their responses to this?

- No one in particular.

22. Birdwatcher?.

- Di ko gets :)

23. Are you a morning person or a night person?

- I'm nocturnal :)

24. Do you have any pets?

- Fish, guinea pigs and two dogs.

25. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share?

- uh, Wala naman.

26. What did you want to be when you were little?

- Doctor or a Teacher

27. What is your best childhood memory?

- nung nahulog ako sa Kanal :) and every time I'm free to bathe under the rain :)

28. Are you a cat or dog person?

- Dog

29. Are you married?

- No

30. Always wear your seat belt?

- Nope, I'm uncomfortable with it.

31. Been in a car accident?

- Nope

32. Any pet peeves?

- None

33. Favorite Pizza Toppings?

- Pineapple, beef, pepperoni and olives

34. Favorite Flower?

- Sunflower

35. Favorite ice cream? .

- Keso :) or Strawberry

36.Favorite fast food restaurant?

- Shakeys and McDo

37. How many times did you fail your driver's test?

- I haven't taken any yet.

38. From whom did you get your last email?

- Facebook :)

39. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card?

- Guess, Chanel, LV aaaaaand Forever 21

40. Do anything spontaneous lately?

- Nope

41. Like your job?

- I don't have a job.

42. Broccoli?

- Will do.

43. What was your favorite vacation?

- Boracay `07 :)

44. Last person you went out to dinner with?

- Relatives.

45. What are you listening to right now?

- The sound of TV :)

46. What is your favorite color?

- Purple

47. How many tattoos do you have?.

- None

48. How many are you tagging for this quiz?

49. What time did you finish this quiz?

50. Coffee drinker?

- Yes

I'm also tagging Lollii, Danica, Tepai, Ella, Kimi, :)

Almost There

2010-05-20T06:55:00.000-07:00

Julian's Birthday was a blast. The place was an exclusive resort in Cavite and the view was awesome. I didn't swam that long because my skin's burnt already and I don't want to get any darker. HAH! :) I just took many many pictures of the place :)

My mom also invited them to stay with us for a week :) so moving on, I still have this feeling of, uhm, I don't really know. Pero alam mo yun? after that awesome day, I still ended up thinking of him before I sleep. tsk, he even texted me last night and I'm grateful not to feel `really excited` to reply :)) My feelings are cooling down :)

We also just got home from watching SHREK Forever After.

The story is really touching; You don't know what you've got until you lost it :)

The story is about Shrek signing a contract with Rumpelstiltskin to have a chance to be a REAL OGRE again, because eventually, Shrek became tired of family life, of the same routine everyday and bla bla bla. He wants to have his life back, before he rescued Fiona from that tower. Fiona and Shrek fought and I really got touched with what Fiona said.

"You have three beautiful children, a loving a wife and friends who adore you. You have everything, yet the only person who can't see that is YOU"

Rumpelstiltskin is a magician who made a contract with the King and Queen of forever after to hand him over the Kingdom in order for Fiona's curse to be broken, but he never succeeded because Shrek rescued Fiona.

When he offered Shred a contract, he told him that he can give Shred ONE DAY to be an ogre again of exchange of any day from Shrek's past, a Day from his childhood specifically. He signed the contract and everything changed. No one knows him, even his True Love, Fiona. Far Far away was devastated under the reign of Rumpelstiltskin.

He realized that Rumpelstiltskin took the day of his birth. So he doesn't really exist and he needs a day to turn the contract null and void, and that is true loves kiss. After a day he would vanish without the kiss because he doesn't exist anymore, all he had was a day to change everything and kiss Fiona.

While Fiona turned into a leader of a group of ogres who wants freedom. He did everything to Kiss Fiona and to make her believe that he's her true lobe. They kissed, but nothing changed because Fiona doesn't love him anymore. Fiona became bitter and doesn't believe on True love's kiss anymore.

Shrek; I AM YOUR TRUE LOVE!
Fiona; Then where were you when I needed you? No Prince Charming saved me. I saved myself from that tower!

It was hearbreaking.

So shrek signed a contract again for a wish with Rumpelstiltskin, he wished to free every ogre, and with that Fiona was touched. On and On with the fight scene until sunrise then Shrek slowly faded ): then Fiona kissed her! and He transported with the same place again, His triplets first Birthday :)

THE END :)

The story was really good. Touching :) It's very common with a guy, specially a Bachelor. Because a man is like an eagle, mahirap sila ikahon because they can never stay on one nest. But when a man truly loves you, he may do mistakes, he may miss his life outside marriage but he'll still be with you.

It's really inappropriate to change someone you love into your standards because when you do, he will never be exactly the one you love from the start. Typical for us girls, Boys usually hates commitments because they feel suffocated and that's what we want. We want them to be our possession, but really. It near impossible :)

But sometimes change is good, because time changes so even we don't want to change, we have to, To be able to cope up with things.

When we love someone, It's really not an obligation to change. Sometimes we just have to make adjustments to make things work to make the relationship last. We don't really have to Sacrifice, We just need to Compromise :)

Lesson? We need to try not to take things for granted. Be thankful of what we have now and stop ranting about what happened already. Let's just try to accept the facts we cannot change :) for the pain to subside.

PS.

I'm almost there :) I'll be over you when time permits.

The Best Trips are Free

2010-05-17T05:46:00.000-07:00

I'll be doing a series of posts because my mind's so random I can't mix it up with one title :)

I'll start with this one, our Summer outings.

First Trip; Last week we went to Batangas where my mom was invited to a Fiesta. It was a spur of the moment decision because no definite plan was held before that day, My mom just told us to ready our things if ever the plan would be pushed through. It was supposed to be overnight, we would attend to the fiesta first then proceed to the beach for a night swimming.

Honestly, I was annoyed and Irritated with the trip. It was full of `WAITING`. haha, we were supposed to depart at 7 am but unfortunately we went off almost 10 am. Kasi yung pupuntahan namin anak ng friend ng mom ko, so yung friend ng mom ko yung magtuturo ng daan and blah blah and we were so pissed already dahil prepared na kaming lahat tapos siya wala pa. Tapos no definite plan pa >.<>

We arrived at almost 3pm. so Imagine the heat! Tapos nagover heat pa yung sasakyan namin when we're at Tagaytay so we have to wait for the Mekaniko to fix the problem. Ang init init nun and we were already hungry >.<>

There's this big bangka far the shore that would carry visitors and tour around as their tradition. The experience was awesome even it's creepy at first because we have to ride a small bangka first that will bring us to the big bangka. I don't have pictures because Mamang bangkero said it's dangerous to bring gadgets it might get wet ;D It was creepy at first, It's like a ride on some amusement park because the waves were big ;D

When we reached the big bangka, it was awesome! The view was great, the air was fresh and it feels like flying, kasi may mga upuan dun sa bandang taas ng bangka. Basta, It's really hard to explain. :)) It's just so sad we we're not able to take pictures :))

After the boat experience we're already wet, because the small baot is so creepy. Yung bangka na ginagamit ng mga mangigisda (: so It's really inevitable for us not to get wet. After that we were told to wait for sometime kasi inaayos pa yung pupuntahan namin, so dahil fiesta, the place was oozing with food, specifically seafoods. I'm just unlucky to be allergic of shrimps. aww.

We had another waiting sessions. ANG TAGAL! I was feeling itchy already because of sea water and I wanted to take a bath already. Ang tagal namin naghintay. Super dami pa inayos kasi nga hindi pa settled lahat. I thouugh the place would be THAT awesome para naman masulit yung paghihintay namin. I also though that the place would near our current location already but it was NOT! feeling ko ang layo layo pa~ Good thing it's dark already so hindi na mainit.

Super daming bangka :"> and the fish was so mura.

haha, the place was like `buntot` of an island

I woke up a couple of times that night kasi ang ingay din, nagiinuman kasi sila. So when it's about 5am we decided to swim na. I was relieved, maganda naman kasi yung place, kumbaga hindi lang enhanced pero okay lang. Free naman eh ;D The water was awesome, malinaw although the sand is not that clear, typical beach sand. Another good and weird fact was the depth :)) I mean the water was so shallow, the ground was almost flat. :)) We were already far from the shore pero hindi pa rin tumataas yung tubig ((: It was awesome, All I did was float kasi walang waves so it's perfect time. I can't swim because the water was salty, the thing I hate about beaches. Salty water. :)) Ilang beses ko atang tinanong na `Maalat ba dito? sana Hindi` HAHA ((: The feeling was awesome. Swimming at 5am in the morning and waiting for the sunrise while floating.

Alam mo yung feeling na you're laying on the beach, ears covered with water and I can hear my heart beat. Magical feeling. I felt so light that day, parang lahat ng bad spirits sa katawan ko nawala. LOL>.<>

Before we pack our things, we roam around hangang dun sa isang buntot ng beach kasi parang ang ganda, pero malumot so we decided to head back the cottage :) the place was beautiful.

They asked us kung pwedeng ipagpaliban muna yung paguwi our car is tinotopak ;D Tapos yung daan paakyat, so It would be risky. :))

We stayed at their house for a while, BV because there's no TV, no nothing. The only good thing about it was the FOOD! Yes, the food was overflowing. Ang daming mangaaaaaa and APPLE-MANGO too:)) All we do was eat and then eat again.

It was so boring so we think of something to do while waiting. We asked for cards ;D ayun, nilaro namin. It was ugh, a trip full of good and bad things.

It was Super init pa kasi walang aircon, tapos their generator was broken pa, so our means of water was through the poso! :))))) The night before we got home, we had THE BAR APPLE :"> Yeah, haha. It was hot tapos iinom pa. =)) I don't really know where to count that experience. Kung matutuwa ba ako or maiinis sa dinanas namin :D We took a bath over the poso. HAHA =))) Good thing there was this huge batya there. Salitan kami ng brother ko. Pag siya nandun ako magbobomba :"> =))) Sabi nga namin, `kung alam ko lang na pwede to, hindi na sana tayo pumunta sa beach :))))` We also put ice on the batya tapos sabi pa niya `ganito pala feeling sa titaic. HAHAHA

We got home late na, almost 9pm :)) Kasi umalis kami doon hapon na para daw hindi mainit. The trip was annoyingly awesome. :D

Second Trip; .I was talking to Cae last night because It's her birthday today and made a robo.to for her then a friend of my mom arrived and asked if he could borrow our car because his relatives arrived and wants to rent a private pool just until morning :))

My brother and I went ecstatic :)) We jokingly said. `SAMA TAYO` tapos sabi sige sama kayo :)) AYUN, at first nagalinlangan pa kami kasi wala kaming masyadong kialala dun, yung anak lang ng tito namin na kasama din sa Batangas.

It was another awesome trip. We just dropped by 7-11 to bought necessities. Wala ng kain kain because it was rushed ((: Sinabi ng 9 pm tapos nagayos na kami ng gamit then umalis ng 11pm :D We weren't able to watch PBB :( aww. I don't know who's nominated.

The place was Nice. 3 rooms and we got it for just 3k until 6 in the morning. The pool was cool, may Slide :D ((: though wasn't that deep kasi may mga batang kasama :))))) We got home 7 o'clock this morning. :D I haven't uploaded the pictues yet :))))

And kanina lang, My mom told us to wake up early tomorrow because we'll go to Cavite, It's Julian's Birthday and she said IT'S A SWIMMING PARTY =)))) Ang Itim Itim ko na ;D I post something immediately at facebook sayong `THE BEST THINGS ARE FREE.` :))) and really it is. Kahit wala ng plano plano :D

I hope my complexion would get back to normal before school starts. :))

formspring.me

2010-05-11T02:39:00.001-07:00

Ask away <3 I don't bite. http://formspring.me/bumbumdebum

Alone

2010-05-03T19:15:00.000-07:00

Everyday, I would always come up of something to blog about but always end up `empty`. Everyday of this summer, I deal with boredom and random thoughts.

Everyday, I kept on thinking plans and productive things to do but always end up thinking about `him`.

Every post I plan to do always end up having him in it. :( that's why I don't blog about it instead. It would be lame.

Summer. I've been reading a lot of books and watching a lot of movies and series to fight boredom, then in the middle of nowhere, I'll cry. It's...absurd.

I feel like I don't know what's happening to me. This is not supposed to happen. My thoughts always lead me to something I don't want to. I feel like loosing myself. I feel so hollow. LUTANG. SABAW :|

I've been drowning myself of sleep because I think my dreams are way better than everything in my life now. Despite all the sleep, I still feel restless. I laugh, I smile but I'm not happy. :| I feel so alone.

I always think about him. It's eating me up and I have no one to tell how bad I feel. nagdadalawang isip naman ako punuin ng drama and rant itong blog ko :|

He. I've met him on Summer two years ago. He's three years senior than me. We started from a dare/trip, I don't know, We're not really serious that time. It was more of an experiment relationship, he just wants someone he can get along and I too want something new.

Ours was like an open relationship then, NO STRINGS ATTACHED. He was having a vacation then so eventually he needed to leave and it turned out to be a long distance relationship. I told him we can go on under certain circumstances like no pressure at walang selosan. Just like that, It was perfect. It wasn't like other relationship overflowing with I love you's. We were so open and honest to each other. May usapan kami na pag ayaw mo na sabihin mo lang. He told me as long as we're happy, we're still together.

Then one day he told me we're through. I said `OKAY` because I left a note to myself not to fall deep for him because we're just playing, not sure of anything. We're still young, We have priorities, I can't keep him myself. I told myself not to be `stupid` and to accept that anytime we're bound to end. Magsasawa at magsasawa kami sa isa't isa at hindi ako dapat ma-attach sa kanya.

After that we remained friends, a month almost, then he suddenly said he wants me back. Pumayag naman ako kasi gusto ko dn naman. It happened couple of times, he'll say we're through but still remain the same hangang sa sasabihin niya na `one more chance` tapos papayag ulit ako kasi he's special, he's important to me. Hangang isang araw ayaw ko na. It's was becoming a cycle, I still accept him because I love him and I feel that he still loves me but we just can't compromise. I was hoping he would adjust a little for things to be easier. It was an on and off relationship. It was like kami na parang hindi. hindi na kami pero parang kami pa din. We were like loose threads, parang pareho lang kami nagpapakiramdaman. I can't say `I love you` to him because it's awkward for me. I not a cheesy girl. I was like never sure of anything between us so I decided to call it quits.

I just got tired of the set up. He'll talk to me whenever he wants and I can't complain because I can't be jealous or demanding. I can't demand time from him because I know he has priorities. Pero ano ba naman yung magkusa man lang siya, to give me a little priority without me asking from him. Nagsawa na ko na kami pero feeling ko single ako kasi hindi ko na siya maramdaman. I don't really mind it that time, lalo na nung naging busy ako nung 2nd year. We never really had a closure. :|

I never told anyone about him, only a few friends knows him but I never told the whole story. I never mind it though, I wasn't sure if they would believe me because some people see LDR as a non working relationship. I never boast I have a boyfriend or confess my frustrations to any of them because I DON'T WANT JUDGEMENTS. Ayoko ng relasyon na maraming opinion, maraming nakikisawsaw. I cherished privacy then.

The time I finally said we're over, I was crushed. I was so down but I can't tell it to anyone. Only to Lorielle because she's the only person I know that would understand that kind of things and I know she'll keep it to herself. I wasn't OKAY but I HAVE TO BE. Kasi hindi naman ako pwede umiyak na di nila makikita, I don't want questions that time. I was too tired to explain things to people who doesn't know anything. I kept myself busy. I took over most of the task to be busy.

Sorry If I'm telling this long story now. It's just bothering me so much now. I'm not busy so I end up thinking about him most of the time. We still talk, and everytime we do I still hope we'll be like the way we used to be. Happy.

I want to get over it.

I want to move on.

I want to stop hoping.

I want to replace him already, there are other guys. I have crushes. I have friends. I have choices, but I just can't find `someone` who'll be like him. :(

He's not just an ex. There's a something in him I can't find in others. Yung tipong `you'll never get bored or tired talking to` :( He was the one I talk to till dawn with just random things. No exact topic. He's the one who comforted be when most of my friends betrayed me. He's the reason why I stay up late just to talk. Minsan kahit wala ako load basta magtext lang siya magpapaload na ko. Kahit tumawag siya ng madaling araw ok lang.

He's one of the persons I can really be myself without the fear of judgements. He's one of the only person who understands me. :( he's like the bestfriend I never had.

I'm just so fed up of the same people around me. Some of my friends are not really friends. Some of them would just remember me when they need something. When they need help. Sometimes I feel taken for granted. I never really opened myself to any of them because I can sense what they'll think. They don't really know how bad I feel because they never cared :( I never told them what I feel because they won't understand :( they'll just see it the wrong way.

The people around me are all the same, they see me as if I'm okay to be hurt, to be taken for granted. I feel so alone now. I miss him, although we still talk. It can never be like the way we used to.

I'm tired of people asking me why. I want someone who'll just hug me whenever I cry without questions. I want someone to talk to without asking `ano pong topic`. I want someone who won't judge me. I want someone who'll be there other than my mom. I'm tired of feeling this, taken for granted. used. I miss him, I want to stop hoping we can still be. I want the same feeling of happiness again. I miss the feel of being appreciated.

Two Directions

2010-04-20T04:57:00.000-07:00

I swear this is a lame post so please pardon me.

I'm having a really really having a hardtime with my life, everything.

Hindi ko alam kung normal na part ba talaga ng puberty yung ganito :| Hindi ko alam kung nagkakaganito ako dahil lang summer at bored ako, hindi ko alam bakit masyado akong nagiging negative sa mga bagay at sa mga nangyayari saken.

Alam mo yung feeling na dapat sa stage na ganito alam mo na kung ano yung gusto mo, nakikita mo na kung anong future meron ka, yung tipong `ten years from now, I'm gonna be a [insert profession here] pero ako wala eh, wala akong siguradong gusto. OO gusto ko maging ganito, tapos kapag nakita ko na maganda pala yung ganitong trabaho `ay ganito na lang`. Nagsasawa na ko, I want to know what I really want! I don't know, I seem to be living everyday just because I'm human and it's my responsibility to breath. hay!

It's so frustrating. Marami ng nagtatanong saken kung anong kukunin kong course, kung ano balak ko, san ako magaaral. etc, pero wala, hangang ngayon nagaalangan pa rin ako sa mga sinasagot ko.

Hindi sa wala akong gusto o walang patutunguhan ang buhay ko, alam ko na gusto ko maging `someone successful` pero hindi ko alam kung saan ako magsisimula at pano ko gagawin yun. Parang yung stories ko may plot ako at may ending, pero hindi ako sigurado sa proseso kung pano ko mararating yung ending. Ganun ako ngayon, may plot pero hindi ko ma-fix yung mind ko kung pano ko i-aapply yung ideas ko.

Dapat sa stage at age ko ngayon alam ko na at sigurado na ko sa gusto ko para maging successful, kasi Junior na ko sa pasukan, ayoko matulad sa iba na kung kelan nasa harap na nila saka palang sila maghahanda. I don't wanna be caught off-guard. Ayoko itulad sa simpleng project ang future ko na `bahala na si batman` ang motto ko. Sa totoo lang, I have so many ideas, I have lots of choices, pero hindi ko ma pinpoint kung ano ba talaga dun that's why I hate multiple choice.

Feeling ko sa sarili ko ang dami dami ko ngang ideas hindi ko naman magawa, alam mo yung feeling na nafufrustrate ka sa sarili mo kasi yung mga bagay na kinaiinisan mo biglang babanga sayo, at wala ka magawa kasi sarili mo na yung kalaban mo :|

I don't know if I'm too closed or too aloof or just plain snob. Honestly ang dami kong ayaw, ayaw na ugali, ayaw na ginagawa ng tao sa paligid ko, pero hindi ko naman talaga alam kung ano yung gusto ko at hinahanap ko. I always find something na kinaiinisan sa isang tao, kaya siguro never ako nagkaron ng bestfriend kasi I was never contented. May napupuna ako sa opinions nila, sa galaw nila, sa reactions nila. Lagi akong may contradicting opinion pero never ko sinasabi. I'll just remain quiet and smile, kasi wala naman ako magagawa para baguhin sila, It's their life anyway. Kaya minsan sa sarili ko na lang ako naiinis dahil napupuno na lang ako kakatago ng mga ganun :|

I don't know if I'm not friendly or I just don't know how to be one. Kasi siguro sanay ako na ako yung nilalapitan at hindi ako yung lumalapit, pero I can't stay like that. I can't always be like that, narealize ko na yun but right now I don't know how to be friendly, I don't know how start a conversation with a stranger :| BV, I know. I just always stammer or smile kasi hindi ko alam sasabihin ko, therefore they conclude I'm a snob :(

May nagsabi na perfectionist daw ako. And maybe she's right, I always think before I act, I always think what people might think about me. Lagi ko iniisip yung mag consequences ng gagawin ko ngayon, kaya siguro ang nangyayare puro consequences na lang yung nakikita ko, hindi ako nagiging fullfilled sa ginagawa ko kasi parang `alam ko na rin naman na ganito mangyayare` so ayun. Magiging happy lang ako sandali, tapos wala na. kasi lumalabas na calculated yung actions ko :(((( haaay. I hate conflicts, failures and mistakes. pero sa lumalabas ngayon. It's what I lack. I don't have too much failures kaya ang boring ng buhay ko :( I avoid conflicts before it hits me kaya I don't reach my `peak` hindi ko na nagawa yung pwede kong gawin para dun :| I know it's too late for regrets now.

Minsan napapatulala na lang ako, narerealize ko yung mga bagay na namiss ko kasi masyado ko iniisip lahat. I become too serious about life people see me as boring. People see me as dull to be with. Siguro nga wala akong friends kung wala yung classmates ko eh.

I can't open up myself that much. siguro yung alam lang ng friends ko saken 50 percent, hindi nila alam yung totoong nararamdaman ko, siguro mga 5 lang kasama na dun yung long distance friends. Ayoko lumabas na walang tiwala sa kanila bilang kaibigan pero nahihirapan lang talaga ako magtiwala. Alam mo yung soft spot ko yung feelings ko eh, Vulnerable ako dun. Ayoko ng kakaawaan nila ako kasi hindi ako sanay :| I always see myself as tough, na bihira umiyak kasi kaya ko to, ayoko maging mababaw. Pero yun din siguro, masyado ako malalim para maabot nila. :( haay. Hindi ako sanay na ako yung nagsasabi ng problema kasi ako yung mas madalas pagsabihan at hingan ng advice. Ano na lang mangyayari kung pati ako may problema? :( I'm just too independent with myself na masyado ko ng tinatago yung feelings ko :|

Now I'm dull. Bum. Boring. Laging tama. :| Ni hindi nga ako makagawa ng statement sa facebook ng hindi iniisip ng mabuti! I'm insecure with myself. I'm always afraid to be wrong. pati nga yung mga post ko binabasa ko pa ulit kasi baka may wrong grammar :((( haay.

Ayoko na ng ganito, ang dami kong gusto pero pag nakuha ko na nasasayang lang :| I want to be sure of what I want. :| I want to take risks. I want to make mistakes. I want to seek advice pero everytime na may magaadvice saken nanliliit ako :( I want to get rid of this awful feeling but I'm afraid to start.

Sorry about this rant, I just want to let it out. I have so many things to say but I can't organize my thoughts :(

Sorry about this rant, I just want to let it out.

SUMMER

2010-03-30T05:02:00.000-07:00

Endings are New Beginnings

I MISS BLOGGING :D I don't know how to start and end an entry anymore :D so since my last update which was March 5, tons of things happened :D

March 11: NAT - grabe =)) seriously, NAKAKAANTOK :|

the exam started around 7:30 with the first 3 subjects, English, Filipino and Biology. I was super sleepy. English was just about reading comprehension tapos lots of common sense, basta nakaantok :D yung katabi ko pa ang bilis bilis matapos, nasa Filipino pa lang ako kalahati na siya ng BIO :D kaya ayun, I didn't take it too seriously :)

It was AP and Math after Lunch :D I answered AP first so I could balance my time for math, AP was more sleepy than English considering that we just finished eating LUNCH :D ang sarap matulog nun, plus it was mostly opinion, ang hahaba pa so I was never sure of anything there. Math was pretty easy, it doesn't include too many hard equations and most answers are alreadt obvious with the choices.

bottomline: 3 lang ata yung sumama sa nireview namin :D

March 16 to 18: FINALS. It was easy, I would say :) siguro kasi tinamad na yung teachers na gumawa pa ng mahirap na exams kung nag pinetensya na kami sa clearance at semi-finals.

We didn't have much time to prepare for finals because they decided to have the clearance signing first for us to take the exam. It was a total failure :| they flooded us with out of this world requirements for just a WEEK! tapos meron pa kaming shooting for RHGP. If it's really possible to die of stress, we already died :\

March 19: we were told to come back for the completion of our clearance and our practical exam on MAPEH. It was FUN :D most of free time and bonding bonding moments, It was also the day when Crystel and Lorielle told us about our Advisers plan to held a party, sort of a despedida party for him.

I told them it is not practical kasi wala ng class, marami ng wala. tapos mahirap na i-plano dahil wala na kaming regular meetings. Some of my friends suggested to have a swimming party instead but it's more expensive and will eat a lot of time. But Crystel and Lorielle still insisted so I told them `kayo bahala, basta out ako jan ha` I didn't like the plan and I know they would seek my help considering that I'm the president. HAH! matatapos na lang ang SY sasakit pa ulo ko? =))) ASA.

Throughout the weekend, they announced na pumasok kami ng monday para sa contribution and everything for the party, pagdating ng monday na pumasok kami :| ayun! we just got upset =)) kasi syempre yung iba nag expect na pinapunta na kami dun kasi ok na lahat, kumbaga final touches na lang taos ayun, wala pa pala silang plano, naupset pa ata sa mga suggestions ko. NAMAN! ngkasagutan pa sila ni Jayvee dahil biglang nag walk out. BV. so ayun, dahil sa inis namin, kumain na lang kami ng halo halo at nag siomai tapos out of the blue nagsuggest sila `tayo na lang kaya mag-plano` then saktong tumawag dad ko, sabay `TING` an idea popped in my head, bakit kaya hindi na lang ako gumawa ng paraan? :D ayun! I told my dad na mag blow-out ako kasi may place ako =)) then he said, OKAY! then VIOLA! sagot ko na yung pool pero KKP kami :D kanya kanyang pagkain.

March 28: SWIMMING :D It was heaven =))

ang sarap sarap ng feeling ko, it was like a self-fulfillment because I hitched the second top :D tapos iba din yung feeling na `most people wants you to be on the top` ang sarap ng feeling na kahit hindi ka best, best naman yung feeling mo :D I can say that all my hard words paid off. lahat ng sama ng loob, lahat ng luha at pawis the whole year nag paid off, specially with th matter of friendship :D una pa lang kasi ng pasukan, goal ko na iwasan ang conflicts and to bring us `tighter` ayun :DD NATUPAD ((((: I can say that my life is already complete. May online at offline life ako, yung lovelife ok din naman, yung FRIENDS to the highest level :D I can not ask for more :D

This summer I promise to catch up with my teentalk and cyber friends :D

Pressure :|

2010-03-05T05:18:00.000-08:00

Can you feel the pressure? It's getting closer now.

Yeah, we're getting so CLOSE that's why they're pouring us their final shits :| I don't know, sometimes I wonder kung bakit matatapos na lang ang lahat kailangan pa tayo pahirapan :| although not pure stress because you stil have to strive and be happy or at least enjoy what you are doing to lessen the Pressure.

Time flies so fast because it's March already and we haven't even absorbed February yet. I know the people who feels this pressure most are the graduating students :) They will enter a new chapter with doubts, excitement and anticipation on what awaits for them, and even for us and my friends.

Another school year is about to end again and we'll be turning Juniors :( I can't believe it, our Freshmen days are still lingering in our memories but we can't be just bystanders, even we like it or not, we GROW UP and sometimes it also means a heavier load of responsibilities and everything. It's just scary sometime because we don't know what might happen :| our adviser already told us that he'll be leaving and there's a large possibility that some of my classmates would be transferred to other section, a switch swatch might occur :| some of my friends are even consider to transfer schools :|

As March approaches we had our Regional Test and another two more exam to come :| Finals and NAT :| I think NAT would we a lesser concern because I'm not even planning to focus on it, It's just another kaekekan of our Government to make students suffer :| Intelligence nor personality can never be measured on how you shade A,B,C or D :) and we all know that :D so bahala sila sa buhay nila, I don't care if I don't get perfect or a high grade, maybe I'll give more concern for NCAE or any other Entrance exam when I reach 4th year.

Before Finals, they gave us the different requirements for our Clearance signing, and for teachers :| it's PAYBACK time :( some of them even require the impossible :| We even have to compile our testpapers and projects :| so most of us think `where the hell will I look for them?` kasi yung iba malamang tinapon or na misplace na :| so It's really really a big problem :|

I'm sorry if my updates are getting more and more out of date, blogging just became boring for me these past few days, even surfing the net bored me :| I just wanted to sleep and sleep and wait for the next day to go to school and bum most of the time =)) because I can sense that even the teachers feel lazy to have a lesson proper, considering the school year is about to end :|

As for Summer, I'm not that very much excited, because I'm sure :| I'll just rot here at home or tumblr and teentalk all day :) I even missed foruming =))))) I wish my mom would have plans :| because my dad moved his vacation on June :| so it is a major BV.

So this is all for now fellow bloggers :) I hope you're all doing fine and goodluck for everything :) I hope we can survive till the end of March.

Mixed Up

2010-02-25T03:37:00.000-08:00

I haven't blog for a long time already, and it's because of the mixed up events that happened.

Why do I still blog? :) maybe because blogger is a lot different than any of my accounts in the Internet World, for a short span of time I've already found home and comfort here. I don't want to leave yet even if I have a Tumblr because I consider blogger as more likely to a Diary.

With my stay in Tumblr, I've noticed some things that would help me to stay here, I've noticed that the way of blogging there is based on popularity, followers and your Typo`s rather than on the content of the entry and the personality of the person itself. Not that I'm criticizing it or what, I just noticed that most of the bloggers are transferring there already because It's said to be easier, and I agree, everything is easy there, just a click then you blogged already :| so the sense of online journal is somewhat changed, It's already changed of typos and haters everywhere :|.

I don't care whether I still have a reader or not, I'm blogging to express myself and not to impress others of what I blog :) I love blogger as what it is even though Tumblr is easier. There are just things that is better on the way it is and it becomes lame when over improved :)

So going through, I'm planning to change my layout and I just don't have the time to do it and also to blog. There are so many things that Happened since I last blogged so I won't narrate all of it.

Last week, We had this film making for values as a substitute for our pre-finals, and it consumed so much of my time plus stress plus pressure plus sakit sa ulo :D

Originally, our teacher assigned one College Student for each groups our section was divided into two and it will stand as their project, but unfortunately, our college instructor contributed NOTHING, we waited alsmost a week for him to act but still nothing, so we suggested that we better start the film because we're running out of time. Then ayun, instant sakit sa ulo :| kasi we're still noobs on this field and we don't know what to do at first, ilang beses tuloy kami umulit :| plus the editing. nainis pa ko dun sa kagroup namin :| kasi he's asking us to pay kahit kaya naman niya dahil siya yung nagedit, ang laki pa nung hinihingi :| kesyo ganyan ganito daw :| I just thought na sana yun na lang yung contribution niya sa buong film :| saka nainis ako dun sa leader ng kabilang group :|

My exam results was awesome :D compared to the previous quarter, I can say that I'm back to normal :) maybe because I was determined to regain my grades :| Biology was a total b*tch, we had genetics and it waaaaaaaaaaaas HARD :| but luckily I passed for the grade of 82%, tapos 4 lang kami pumasa. :| highest was 83 :)

So SUMMER is fast approaching :) but before we get there, we have to go through hell :D there's still finals and the NAT exam, then we have to approve our clearance before we can take the finals. talk about requirements :| eh madalas nirerequire pa yung MASS CARDS saka TESTPAPERS :| I don't even know where to find them anymore :|

I promise to update more often specially if I have time :) I miss you dear bloggers :) I miss my teentalk friends too :(( pero hindi na ako makapagopen sa kanila.

I still have so maaaaany things to say but I don't know where to start :)

formspring.me

2010-02-18T05:59:00.001-08:00

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/invisiblethough

Hearts day

2010-02-15T02:18:00.001-08:00

Literary Contest

2010-01-30T04:51:00.000-08:00

It had been a very Stressful Week for most of us, and I have so many things to rant about. I'm apologizing in Advance :) Sorry/

It's ironic that people never gets SATISFIED. When you gave 99.9 percent of what you have and you saved just 1% for yourself, at kapag dinemand nila yung 1 percent na yun kailangan ibigay mo, dahil kung hindi. MASAMA KA!

It's fvking hilarious! lalo na sa ibang classmates and groupmates ko, they NEVER appreciate anything I DO! :|

Last Friday was our fieldtrip then we had so many deadlines last Monday, and It was also the day that they announced the upcoming literary contest. We were like `WTF! gusto niyo talaga kaming patayin`? then they told us the possible contests which were Impromptu, Declamation, Essay, Poem Making and Speech choir.

The rest was just fine because It's an Individual game and do not requires practices except the speech choir and we only have four days! IMAGINE :o you have to memorize the piece first before you can to practice, ang HIRAP nun. yung sabayan nga namin inabot ng 1 month. 0.o Fortunately, they realized how hard it was so they changed it to Story Telling. I was like, `anong konek?` edi parang yung Story Teller lang yung may silbi kasi LITERARY CONTEST nga and it's ENGLISH WEEK. pero ayun, wala naman kaming magagawa kasi hindi naman kami pwedeng `hindi sumali` dahil mapapahiya ang section namin.

So here comes the STRESS. It's mainly Me, Lorielle and Crystel who manages and organizes everything kasi wala namang pakealam yung iba. They just want everything without even helping.

Day 1: Monday

They gave us the Piece entitled NUTCRACKER AND THE SEVEN MOUSE KING and the number of maximum participants was just 20 and it would be Section VS. Section. We asked them `sino gustong sumali`? konti lang nagtaas ng kamay, siguro mga 15 yun kasi yung iba tinatamad, edi sinulat na ni Crystel lahat, sabi niya `wala na ba talaga? sige, bahala kayo` then after a few subjects, Lorielle spilled the bean, sabi niya `sino pa gusto humabol? may incentive na additional grade to` edi sh|t DUMAMI bigla.

See? most of them are .... UNDESERVING.

Another Conflict was; the number of people who wants to join exceed more than 20, eh yung mga hindi na makakasali `nagtatampo, nagagalit at nagrereklamo` sa amin dahil daw bakit sila ay hindi kasali. kahit anong explain namin na `kasi 20 lang talaga yung maximum` ayun, KAMI pa rin ang masama. :| We figured and figured and figured out how to solve that thing, yung makakapagsimula kami ng practice without conflicts, so we talked to some of them na sa ganito na lang sumali, so yung iba ok na. pero we're still more than 20 :| edi nagusap kaming tatlo na kung pwedeng kami na lang yung mag give way kasi may iba pa naman kaming sinalihan, :| we chose the students qualified to the character pero may nagsabi pa na `kailangan ba maganda para makasali`? NAKAKAINIS, they're so close-minded, makitid ang utak, gusto nila yung gusto nila ang masusunod kahit hindi naman tama, gusto nila sila na nga isasali sila din yung lead role. BWISIT.

That's also the fact that they're throwing at me. `ako din naman daw eh, gusto ko dn naman daw yung KAILANGAN lagi nasusunod` oo nga, nandun na tayo, gusto ko yung plano ko nasusunod, pero ang point ko `HELLO! yung TAMA ko ba NAKASAMA sa kahit kanino sa inyo?` HELLO, hindi ba kayo nakinabang sa mga GUSTO ko?` db? nakakainis, the plans I'm making is not only intended to BENEFIT ME, I sort out so many plans just to fit for everyone! tapos ako MASAMA? tss, ayun, si Lorielle at Dacuyan kinausap na lang yung English Teacher na gawing 25 yung maximum participants, buti na lang pumayag. FIRST CASE SOLVED.

DAY 2: Tuesday, Practice Proper.

No specific time or free time was given to us so we have no choice but to practice after class hours. The intended time was 3:00 - 4:00 pm for practice. Pero bago yun, some of them are already asking me `may practice ba talaga`? yung simpleng tanong na yun nakakainis na eh, kasi naman, determinado sila masyado masali dun si play pero ayaw nila magpractice? WTF db? :(((

DAY 3: Wednesday

Almost nangangalahati na kami ng piece. Para hindi masyadong exhausting, we have 10 minutes break every after 3 scenes, pero nung araw na yun, lumabas sila ng campus para bumili ng pagakain, pero 30 minutes na wala pa sila :||||| BWISIT. so kaming mga naghihintay naiinis na, may isa pa dun nagsabi na `blah blah blah` haay, I was furious that time pero hindi na lang ako umiimik, kasi when I start ranting, I won't stop until you cry. >:| nakakainis, parang gusto ko sabihin na `anong karapatan mo magreklamo kung wala naman pumilit sayong sumali dito? extra ka lang magrereklamo ka pa, hindi ka nabibilad sa araw nagrereklamo ka? wala ka na ngang ginagawa magrereklamo ka? putangina mo umalis ka na kung ganyan lang din gagawin mo` bwisit :| feeling pa importante pa sya.

eto pa mainly nakakainis, nagpapraktice kami and sinasabi ko yung scene, yung gagawin nila and bla bla bla, pero alam mo yun? tatahimik at makikinig na lang ang gagawin nila hindi pa nila magawa, kailangan pa sawayin. BWISIT :|| nakakapagod sumaway ng taong hindi marunong sumunod, rereklamo sila na `ANG INT` eh bakit sila lang ba naiinitan? :((

DAY 4: Thursday

Props making. fail pa nga yung props namin compared sa iba, kasi hindi na kami nag contribute or gumastos dahil madalian yung event, saka ayoko na ng maraming satsat, alam mo naman ang tao pagdating sa pera. tsk tsk, so LAHAT ng props tinapos na then assign ng lahat ng costume na isusuot. Also tinapos na lahat ng pending scenes para konting polishing na lang after. Hindi ako masyado napagod this day kasi ok na, bahala na sila sa buhay nila kung hindi sila susunod :| pero deep inside, gusto ko sila sumbatan lahat. :| na SUNBURN pa nga kami ni Angel eh :|

DAY 5: Contest Proper

Wala ng klase this day kasi super practice na talaga, edi polishing na lang. naka isang practice lang kami that morning dahil ang TAMLAY nila, walang gana bla bla bla, then every scene na matatapos sila umaalis sila, KAYA NAKAKAINIS! kasi magtatawag ka pa ng nawawalang tupa everytime na sila na. nakakainis ulit :| tapos kasali pa ko sa Impromptu pero sa kanila ako nag fofocuse kahit wala silang mga pakealam. I'm just thankful dun sa mga hindi sumali na MAS MARAMI pa natulong, saka kay Gillian, Ann, Lorielle, Angel and Crystel na hindi nagpasaway at super tumulong.

Before the program started napaiyak talaga ako. nakakainis na kasi talaga, we had one LAST practice na namin yun with all the costume and props pero yung mga MALALANDING BABAE make up ang inaatupag, sabi ko naman `3rd to the last tayo, bago tayo mag perform, lusaw na yang make up na yan` saka hello? mga 30 seconds nga lang sila dun eh BWISIT eh, FEELING SILA. tss, hindi na lang ako nagsasalita kahapon dahil ayaw ko na ng away.

Luckily, my performance was good daw, yung Story telling naman ok din, kahit papano nakaraos kami. tapos kanina may REVIEW kami ng NAT tapos Birthday ni Aerian. Talk about STRESS :|

Respect others opinion.

Know when to be SENITIVE

SHUT UP when you have to

Learn to Listen

Accept your Mistakes

Know you LIMITATIONS

Put FIRST things FIRST

Stand with your decision.

Mean what you SAY

Act first before you COMPLAIN

So okay, Lesson Learned. Even though I went through hell.

Pictures to be posted next time :) Ciao.

formspring.me

2010-01-29T03:20:00.001-08:00

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/invisiblethough

Fieldtrip `09 - `10

2010-01-25T01:38:00.000-08:00

I never thought it would be THAT fun :)

As I've promised, I'll post about this right after the exact day but I was too tired last Saturday and the coming days would be so hectic because of the upcoming literary contest on Friday so I'll just rant about it now.

It was so FUN although I thought it would be BORING.

Right after the last day of exam which was thursday, We had an orientation about the should and should not to do`s at the fieldtrip and also about the 98% percent incentive in our exam and as a result many of us was pissed off because there are so many `BAWAL` so we though `WTF, nag pa fieldtrip pa sila` and the seating arrangement was messy. :|

When Friday came, we had a 5 am assembly at the gym because the supposed time of departure is at 5:30 but because of latecomers, we were able to depart at almost 6 am.

Our bus was FULL kasi kami lang yung bus na puno ang jumpseat :) we were with first year. I was quiet at the beginning of the trip because I was thinking of my brother, nagaalala ako kasi baka hindi sya okay dun and bla bla bla, plus my camera's flash is broken so I wasn't able to capture photographs at the bus. But as the trip went on, ang ingay na =))) kasi our seating arrangement is yung pahaba, isang pahaba kaming second year, from front to back then everyone was passing food all over the bus =)) laging `pasa mo to` then babalik dun na owner na wala ng laman =))) Hindi ko nga nagalaw yung mga baon ko dahil pasa sila ng pasa =))

Me, Jayvee, Angel

First Destination - our first destination was the Bangko Sentral, but before we got there, a super FUNNY scene happened =)). Ayun nga, on the way kami papunta dun kaya syempre may mga sasakyan kaming nakakasabay, but one Bus caught our eye, kasi ka bus number namin sila which is BUS #6 =)) eh malalakas ang trip nung iba, kaway dito kaway dun, tapos may nakapost na number pala dun sa bintana ng kabilang bus =)) edi ako naman sabi ko `kunin niyo kunin niyo, ang gwapo nung nakasakay oh` =))))))) eh kinuha naman nila :D kaya ayun, instant textmate daw. haha =)) It was so Hilarious!

When we were already inside, camera's are not allowed so wala, BORING. tapos napahiya pa ko :D GRABE! kasi I was looking for my brother, so nung nakita ko yung classmate niya kinalabit ko `ui, nasan si Edrian` then nung hindi siya sumagot, I realized na kamuka lang pala niya yun =))))) edi strike 1 na yun kaya ang ginawa ko, niyakap ko yung nasa unahan ko sa sobrang pagkapahiya. sabi ko `shit! nakakahiya.!` tapos nung lumingon siya saken. GAAAH! first year pala yun~ akala ko classmate ko =)))) grabe. :D I apologized immediately then walked away. LOL =)) tawa tuloy kami ng tawa ng classmates ko habang pabalik na sa Bus.

2nd Destination - The National Museum, out tour guide told us na isang ikot na lang daw kami dun then balik na agad sa bus kasi nag exceed yung time namin sa BPS. Nothing much happened, nakita lang namin yung Manungul Jar =)) LOL

3rd Destination - we went to fort Santiago to have Lunch, so eto na yun =)) picture taking then we rode kalesa :)

Crystel and Me

Cathy, Crystel, Me

muka kaming tanga dito :D
(L-F: Angel, Crystel, Ann, Me. Lorielle,Joanne)

4th Destination - Malacanang Palace. as usual, camera's are not allowed inside so wala lang =)) namangha lang kami dun sa laman ng museum.

Final Destination - STAAAAR CITY =)) so eto na, eto na yung pinakahihintay namin pero dahil KJ ang driver, ang tagal pa namin naghintay dun kasi hinintay pa yung ibang bus para daw sabay sabay. tss. tapos sa bus pa lang nagsisigawan na na lahat daw sasakyan, may minus ang hindi sumakay =))

It was so Fun kasi sama sama kami =)) akala nga namin hindi ganun ka crowded kasi nga January na, pero unfortunately ang dami ring students kaya ayun. We decided na Gabi ng Lagim muna kami =)) GRABE =)) tsansing time daw kasi grabe magkapitan tapos tulakan, may mga nadapa pa. LOL. Next was the Anchors Away, This time hindi na kami complete kasi nag back out si Crystel =)) umiyak pa kasi hindi daw niya kaya, so ayun =)) eh ang haba ng pila kaya super tagal namin naghintay saka in order na sabay sabay kami, ang dami naming napauna T_T :D pero GRABE, laughtrip kami habang nakapila kasi nakikita namin yung expression ng ibang nakasakay =)) yung iba ang yabang pa kasi nasa dulo pa sila =)) pero pag baba namumutla. haha =))

Tapos ayun, naaawa ako kay Angel kasi dun siya sa dulo napwesto kasi wala ng iba, ayun tuloy =)) hindi na siya sumakay sa iba kasi baka daw masuka na siya =)). 3rd was the SKY FLYER =)) dito 2 na lang kami ni Jamaica sumakay, kasi yung adviser namin sumingit sa pila kaya nauna tuloy siya :| eh ayaw naman nung iba kaya kami na lang ni Jamaica yung pumila ng halos isang oras =)) pero it was worth it =)) GRABE. =)) then pagbaba namin saktong yung iba nakapila sa Surf Dance =)) eto naman yung ride na super laughtrip =))) namutla talaga yung adviser namin dito =)) pinagtatawanan niya pa kami nung una pero siya namutla na =)) Last was the Wild River :) kasama ko dito yung Crush ko kaya ayun =)) todo kapit ako. LOL =)) pero ayos lang, walang masyadong thrill tapos amoy suka pa yung tubig =))

It was already almost 9pm after the wild river kaya sabi ng adviser namin, mamili na daw kami or kumain para makaalis na =)) So it was ALL :D nag consume kasi ng maraming time yung haba ng pila. But overall it was fun :) kasi sama sama kami :) and it was so different from last year's Trip.

Tapos eto pa pala, kasi si Ex told me days before the trip that he might come that time so ako naman mejo na-excite :D pero nung almost 8 na he texted me na may lakad daw sila kaya di siya matutuloy. At first I was disappointed kasi once in a blue moon chance na yun, pero hindi ko na din pinansin, I was too happy to be sad that time saka naisip ko din na anong sense na magkita pa kami kung wala na rin naman db? :) So again, It's just positivity. LOL.

When we were already at the Bus, our adviser announced that we will not have out NAT review that coming Saturday kaya masaya na =)) Super Sakit ng braso at katawan ko pagdating ng Sat =)) I just slept and slept and slept :)

Me and Jamaica

Positivity

2010-01-15T01:03:00.000-08:00

Positivity - state or quality of being positive

FIRST OF ALL, I AM RELIEVED :)

Mejo Masaya na ulit ako :) because I realized that maybe being positive was all I ever needed to be happy :) pero syempre, all of us can't stop feeling down/negative sometimes.

Positivity started last Monday.

I was really down during the weekend because our adviser already broke the news about the top ten last friday so I was really bothered during the weekend - kaya hindi ako nakapagblog - it was Crystel's birthday last Saturday so mejo hindi ako emo =)) but I really wanted to cry while singing videoke that day. Basta~ sama sama pa kasi yung issue tungkol kay ex tapos yung grades ko pa. I just sang my heart out that day even though I'm a horrible songer. LOL

Monday came and our adviser gave us our Card and Class picture. upon seeing my grades, I was like `ok naman pala eh` :)) and of course I looked at the difference and it was good overall :D malinis pa rin yung records ko.

In Math, I got 87 out of 91 from last grading and 90 out of 95 for MAPEH. Bio became 90 out of 88 and Makabayan from 92 from 91 and the rest was just 1 point higher/lower. Overall, I only got one line of 8 and the rest is 90-92 :D

That time I already felt relieved kasi wala pa rin naman akong mababa, I just dropped to rank 7 because some of my classmates excelled this grading, pero nung inisip ko ulit yung average nila at average ko, I told myself `babawi na lang ako` kasi my average was about 90.24 tapos yung top two 90.88 or something, yung nauna naman saken .2 points ahead lang =)))) kaya that time pag uwi ko sabi ko agad sa mom ko `babawiin ko na lang ha` tapos ayun, no reaction na :D pero I was already happy kaya hindi ko na pinansin =)) tapos ewan ko, my quizzes are almost perfect, more or less 2-5 mistakes lang =)) siguro nga `failure is the best motivation` kasi kung tao yung magiging motivation mo mahirap dahil `people change` so you don't have stability on your mind, kaya okay na rin to :) determined akong bumawi.

Second; This day was BLOOPERS DAY :)

I had so much fun plus the COOOOOLD WEATHER and it's FRIDAAAAAAAY =))

So ayun, I was really in a good mood today kasi mahaba yung tulog ko.

Biology - our topic was the great REPRODUCTIVE SYSTEM and of course it involves FAMILY PLANNING so you know the drill when discussions trigger the `curiosity` of the students. The period was so ALIVE =)) walang tulog. HAHA
English - we have a new teacher since Monday so she conducted a new seating arrangement for her time and the thing is, my seatmate was the GUY pretending to be a GIRL I told you about on my previous entries. I was so annoyed and irritated to him kasi ang INGAY!~ echosero, feelingero at pakielamero pa kaya naiinis ako. Ayun, I was passing notes with Lorielle the whole period kasi ayoko siya pansinin.
MAPEH - we had a quiz then our teacher discussed about baseball/softball. We should have played it today but our teacher said we don't have enough equipments plus it's a little bit dangerous, kaya ayun =)) the Boys played Volleyball instead. SUPER LAUGHTRIP <3.>ang lalakas kasi ng trip nila :D

Values - our values teacher who's also our guidance counselor was busy so he just announced something and gave us the remaining time to PLAAAAAAY.
Math - we had a quiz about quadrilaterals, ratio and proportion and of course, IT WAS BLOODY =)) kasi alam mo yun, kahit pagaralan mo pa, pagdating sa Geometry may mga bagay talagang mahirap intindihin, lalo na pag yung problem parang impossible i-solve saka yung mga basic math operations kasi nakalimutan na namin, specially FRACTIONS! yung how to convert to decimal, tapos may LCD blah blah pa, tapos transposition and integers pa. EFF =)) db db? nakaka~ masasabi mo na lang na `ha? may ganito ba? b'at may ganito? =)) buti na lang may seatmate ako na alam.
LUNCH - lunchbreak is about 2 hours, kasi undertime yung math namin, then wala kaming Computer because it's Friday.

Out of BOREDOM, Angel told me that she wanted to PLAY pero dahil nga wala na yungbola ng volleyball samen ayaw sumali nung iba =)) kaya sabi niya `taya-tayaan na lang tayo, ako taya` =)) ayun, dalawa kaming parang tangang naghahabulan, pero nung mejo tumagal :D marami ng sumali, naging 5 ata kami =))))) then nung super pagod na kami, AYAWAN NA. LOL. After magpahinga, nagyaya na sila mag volleyball kasi may bola na nga kaya sumali ako :D Ayun, BLOOPERS ulit kasi mostly samen hindi naman magaling maglaro =))) madalas pang tamaan. haha

T.H.E - nag recitation lang. Yung isa isa pupunta sa Faculty alphabetically, so buong period petiks lang kami :D laro ulit
Social Studies - masyadong mabait yung sir namin kaya nagsabi lang ng Coverage ng Exam tapos `do-anything-what-you-want` ulit :D
Filipino - eto yung sir namin na PINAKAMABAIT =))) ito yung adviser ng last section saka yung kinwento ko na bantay namin nung sobrang kopyahan kami during exam. Dahil last subject na, almost lahat kami nasa field at naglalaro =)) kaya nung dumating siya ang ingaaay namin sa classroom =)) ayun, dahil 15 minutes na lang, nagbigay na lang siya ng exam =)))))

Everything happened with a blaaaaast =)) tapos may period pa ko. BV =)) pero di ko na inisip, minsan lang naman :D saka malamig eh, ang sarap sarap ng weather =)) parang airconditioned pa yung buong paligid :D

I wish everyone is Happy, even in their own ways :)

UNLUCKY

2010-01-07T01:37:00.000-08:00

OK. I'M GONNA BLOG.

I am not okay ever since the resume of classes. Bad news dropped right in front of me since Monday and I've been recklessly unfortunate the days that followed. So I'm very sorry if this entry is NONSENSE.

Yung New Year's resolution ko, wala. Wala man lang Buena Mano -.- yun nga, ganun pa rin yung pakiramdam ko kahit marami ng tao, kahit maingay na yung paligid ko. I still felt Hollow. SABAW. lutang. basta, ang sama sa feeling -/-. Then nung Tuesday almost lahat ng Test Papers binalik na and the results was devastatingly abnormal -- well atleast for me --. It was a passing grade naman, pero it's not enough for me kasi alam ko yung basis ng grades ko at yung INEEXPECT ng iba na DAPAT, right at that moment alam ko na na mostly lahat ng grades ko bababa kasi mas mababa yung nakuha ko compared to last quarter's exam 0.0

Honestly, My grades never really bothered me pero this time, iba talaga.

It's just really out of ordinary. I even asked myself `ano ba nangyare saken` -.- kasi alam ko naman na nagaral ako. I even really really study hard at BIO pero ayun~! 80% LANG!

Haay, since nung nag Top 1 ako alam ko na sa sarili ko na hindi ko yun ginusto and never ko inexpect kasi ang ayaw ko nga sa lahat is pilitin yung sarili kong kayanin kahit hindi ko kaya, and maybe that triggered everything. Mas tumaas lahat ng expectations nila saken, mainly my MOM. -.- Ngayon hindi talaga eh, normally 2-3 subjects lang ako bumababa or nahihirapan pero ngayon 2-3 subjects na lang ako tumaas. yung iba nag remain, and it's not NORMAL kung para saken -.-

I know I'm still at the top 5 kasi almost majority din naman samen may bumaba so tangap ko lahat ng pagbabago sa grades ko kasi alam ko din naman yung results ng exam ko. Ang hindi ko tangap, yung reaction ng mga tao sa paligid ko. SHIT NAMAN, GRADE KO YUN BAKIT GRABE KAYO MAKAPAGREACT? so that's the hardest part of all, wala naman silang alam sa nangyayare saken except sa mga kinukwento ko, anong karapatan nilang i-question yung performance ko? -.-

Isa pang masakit, sobrang nakaka upset ang nanay ko -.- I already told her na `My, baka bumaba mga grades ko ha` tapos nung pinapirmahan ko yung test papers ko, sabi lang niya `ayusin mo to` pero alam mo yun? bakit yung kapatid ko kahit may bagsak ok lang sa kanya, kapag ako parang ang laki laki na ng kasalanan ko? tapos idadahilan pa niya na baka daw may ginagawa ako na di ko sinasabi, na baka daw may boyfriend na ko. WTF naman eh! bahay-school lang naman ako at alam naman niya yon! at ilang beses ko na sinabing WALA! WALA! WALA! haay. Ni reason out ko dn sa kanya na `lahat naman kami bumaba eh` tapos sabi niya `hindi reason yun` tapos kanina kinausap ako ng teacher ko kasi bumaba nga ako so I just said okay kasi alam ko na nga, hindi na ko nagulat and ikinalulungkot ko nga lang ay yung magiging reaction ng mom ko. Sabi ko kanina pag uwi `sorry, mahirap lang naman talaga kasi` so I was expecting na sabihin niya `ok lang yan, bawi ka na lang nextime` but instead, she told me `kung mahirap bakit may tumaas? kaya ka bumaba dahil may pagkukulang ka din` kaya lalong sumama yung loob ko -.- kasi `HELLO, Can I have a BREAK?` :|

Alam mo yung feeling na grabe sila makapaghinayang sa grades mo, grabe sila makapagreact sa nangyare. Hindi manlang nila naisip na kung sila nga nanghihinayang, pano pa kaya ikaw? ikaw na mismong nawalan? -.- Hindi na lang ako umiimik, ilang araw ko ng gusto umiyak pero pinipigilan ko na lang kasi ayaw ko magmukang kawawa. Masakit eh, idagdag pa na parang wala silang pakealam sa nararamdaman ko. -.-

I just need someone to boost me up -_- I just feel so worthless. :| BYE

Aloha 2010 :)

2010-01-01T06:55:00.000-08:00

As you can see, I don't have any entry regarding New Year because I just don't feel the Spirit everybody else around me have.

I am excited as 2010 enters but I'm not that eager to celebrate it. I don't even list any New year's resolution because I know it would just be USELESS. Siguro If I would want something this year, I want to be more APPRECIATED. :|

We all know how 2009 became a beeyatch and fvcked up with everybody's life.

Tragedies, Calamities and Death approached us and left a great impact in our lives, specially those who've lost their loved once. but despite all of these, It opened our eyes and taught us how to be stand up in the middle of the dark.

2009 was more of an average year than 2008 but it this year left me feeling so empty :\. yung feeling na feeling mo gumagalaw ka na lang for the sake of doing something. BASTA =))

So many events happened this year that really dropped the level of my happiness, events that affected so much to my self-esteem that I even questioned myself what I have done to deserve such things. Love and Friendship fucked up with me this year but I know I still remained calm in the eyes of people around and sometimes I hate that fact. Yung dahil sa tingin nila wala akong problema kaya binibigyan nila ako ng sangkatutak tapos kapag nagreklamo ka ang dami na namang blah blah blaaaaah! Eh kapag naman sinabi mo na may problema ka hindi ka rin nila tatantanan~ haaaay :DD

One thing I'm thankful about this year was meeting my Cyber Friends :D sometimes I even feel more attached and comfortable with them than my real life friends kasi yung iba sa real friends ko plastic. I'm even more comfortable to express my feelings with them because I know they respect my opinion and feeling enough to hurt me.

I never felt out of placed or even under appreciated whenever I talk to them. I even feel more close to them even though we're miles apart and I feel more secure that they do not befriend me just because they need something from me. My Cyber Friends do not take me for Granted :) thanks for being a part of my 2009 :) I'm looking forward to meet all of you for the next years of our friendship :) I love you Kathlene, Cae, ate Yuki, Aerine, Jeanne, Tepai, Kimi, Sam, Shei (purple), MIA, Edz, Steffie and you know who you are :D

I'm also thankful that I made this blog :) I'm looking forward for a better 2010 :)

HAPPY NEW YEAR :)

The beginning of the end :)

2009-12-28T06:23:00.000-08:00

Bold all the things you've done in 2009:

Did something you said you would never do.

Paid for someone who said they would pay you back but never did.

Lied about where you were.

Discovered a new musician.

Made something for a friend. -Does making him/her happy counts?:D

Got a new phone.

Got a new iPod/Zune/Mp3 player.

Watched three or more episodes of Saturday Night Live.

Made fun of someone.

Created a Tumblr.

Flew on a plane for the first time.

Spoke in front of 15 people or more. -almost everyday :D

Met someone in real life that you originally met online.

Done something illegal.

Did your siblings chores for money.

Stayed up all night thinking about the worst thing that could possibly happen to later find out that you worried for nothing.

Hurt somebody you didn’t mean to hurt.

Hugged your mom or dad.

Baked a cake.

Made a new friend.

Lost an old friend.

Changed your views on society.

Laughed at something that wasn’t funny.

Got upset over something that wasn’t a big deal.

Had a horrible birthday.

Got a Facebook. -Update & Use FB!

Deleted your Myspace.

Cried because you missed old times.

Cleaned your room.

Have a new found appreciation for someone you never expected to.

Told someone you love them.

Told someone you hate them.

Screwed something up but didn’t mean to.

Received a gift.

Gave a gift.

Read a book that wasn’t for school.

Ate a lollipop.

Threw away something by accident.

Smoked a cigarette.

Ran a mile.

Switched schools.

Aced a test.

Wished you were in the past.

Got scared about the future.

Got yelled at by your parents.

Lost a family member.

Saw an old friend.

Went to church/synagogue.

Hugged a stuffed animal.

Said you’re going to make next year better.

I decided to make a post like this before this year ends :)

credits to http://marlytheexplorer.blogspot.com/

Dead End

2009-12-27T00:14:00.000-08:00

threestrikesyoureout.tumblr.com/

`Mahal mo pa ba ko`?

It wasn't the first time he asked me that question since we broke up, and everytime he would ask that, I would just answer `bakit? ano gagawin mo kung OO?` and It's either he would change the topic, crack a joke and not reply.

threestrikesyoureout.tumblr.com/

Yes, I still love him but I know It can't be `US` anymore even if he still loves me. For almost two years we've been together, we had the same on and off relationship which always started from him and this time, even if he wants me back I can't seem to say `yes` because I got tired of the same set-up.

I'm contented with us being friends for now, kasi parang kami din naman kahit hindi kami,.

It's like we still talk about the same stuffs, share things like we used to be. The only difference is that we're not boyfriend-girlfriend. Just plain Me-Him period.

I don't want to be in a relationship with him again because I don't wanna play like what other couples do. I don't want to ruin what we have now by sucking to such responsibility of being in a relationship. I don't want to be with him and repeat the on and off cycle which I know would sooner or later lead to one place - dead end.

I have learned my lesson while we're still together. I do not demand his time when he's busy as much as I want to and even though I miss him so much. I don't want to demand time from him because I don't want to pressure him by choosing me and his studies. I've seen how hard it is for the both of us and I love him too much to give him pain.

To last a relationship requires so many risks and sacrifices which I know both of us cannot handle. Being in a relationship needs commitment, time, demands and most of all it's a responsibility. I have my own priorities and so as he.

I want us to last without heartaches and bitterness like couples who break up. I don't want to involve myself in a situation I know we'll both regret in the end. I don't want to risk my love to turn to bitterness and pain. I want us to last as what we are now and it will not happen if we pressure ourselves to the next level. And I know It's just not for teenagers.

I love him. he loves me. it's enough for now

Holiday

2009-12-26T23:58:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas

Sorry if it was late, I wasn't able to open my accounts since my last post :)

Christmas went well, no special happenings, no family gathering, no unusual event. It was just me, my mom my bro and some family friends. We just watched a movue til 12mn and Noche Buena. :) then off to sleep, the continuation of the party happened the day of 25th.

.

2009-12-22T20:43:00.000-08:00

`Anong araw ngayon? OMG. it's 23 :0

YAN! 24 na bukas and almost everyone are busy doing stuffs and I'm here, BORED TO DEATH :|

Honestly, I don't feel like celebrating Christmas except Simbang Gabi. I don't know, I just don't feel it anymore, it's just like an ordinary day that will just pass.

My life is back to the usual routine again. EAT-NET-TV-BOOKS-SLEEP and so on and so forth :| and for the past 3 days since vacation started my routine started to drop to eat and sleep because I have already read all the books here, watched all the movies :| specifically HORROR MOVIES. I'm avoiding chick-flicks and romance stories because my imagination and feelings have the tendency to be CRAZY when seeing mushy things/people surrounded by the so called spirit of LOVE. haaaay.

I'm not happy -- not that I don't smile or laugh though -- I just need happiness. :-/

Christmas Spirit

2009-12-20T02:53:00.000-08:00

YAY :) VACATION :)

So yeah, It's Vacation already and It's our Christmas Party last Friday and I thank God it was a success.

It was FUN but if I'd be honest, I wasn't that satisfied. Siguro kasi 75% nung party I was busy preparing and arranging things kasi I wasn't able to manage decorating the room the day before because we went out to buy a dress and gifts :| alanganin kasi lahat sa schedule. It was fun pero iba yung feeling ko :| siguro because I was expecting another kind of christmas party. Basta, iba yung feeling ko, siguro I just miss my elem days and friends :|

I was just able to enjoy the latter parts.

<
Yeah, ang gulo gulo pa namin :| buti na lang when the party was over. tumulong naman sila mag arrange :) I didn't went gala na rin kasi I wasn't able to ask permission, I don't have extra money and I'm dead tired :D saka may simbang gabi pa :)

And speaking of simbang gabi, I would post a seperate entry about it some time :)

formspring.me

2009-12-15T20:55:00.003-08:00

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/invisiblethough

formspring.me

2009-12-15T20:55:00.001-08:00

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/invisiblethough

Butterflies

2009-12-14T05:35:00.000-08:00

I miss the feeling of Butterflies in my tummy

Wala lang, I just miss the feeling of having someone who will constantly be with me :D

These past few days kasi puro wala lang. OO, sinasabi ko na type/crush ko si ganito or ganyan pero alam naman ng old and close friends ko na yung mga bagay na walang habas kong sinasabi -- ay karaniwan di totoo sa aking nararamdama. LOL =)))

So yung mga binibiro biro ko na crush ko -- wala lang :D napagti-tripan ko lang. haha =))

Another thing is Gusto ko din ng Retreat :( naiingit ako eh. LOL. hahaha =)) wala lang, ang KJ ng school namin, kahit yung 4th year walang retreat. BV. :(

Ayoko na nga rin magexam eh, gusto ko na mag Christmas Break kahit di ko masyado feel ang Christmas.

KBYE, I still have exams tomorrow!

HELL WEEK

2009-12-13T04:35:00.001-08:00

The previous week was full of drama and really Hell! so I'm so sorry I wasn't able to update my blog.

Monday; Normal day. it was the deadline of our project in T.H.E and we discussed on Computer. Nainis lang ako kay Crystel after lunch kasi it was our report day on Social Studies pero wala akong idea about sa details kasi when our teacher announced it, wala ako sa classroom because of some SBO stuffs.

The report was intended to be our remedial Quiz, nainis kasi samen yung SS teacher namin so he didn't attend class kaya wala kaming Quiz. I was pissed because weekend pa lang I told her na sya na lang mag assign ng designated topics sa girls because I wasn't able to bring my book home. I told her to lend me her book to research about the topic pero hindi niya ko pinahiram. sabi niya sya na daw bahala. So when Monday came, naiinis ako because almost everyone was aking me `Zaira, ano irereport ko?` they kept on asking me until lunch tapos may quiz pa bigla sa T.H.E and hindi pa ko nagrereview. Tapos nalaman ko bigla na wala pa palang irereport, na ang gulo gulo pa pala. I told her to do so something then bigla niya sabi `di ba ikaw na bahala?` kasi ako daw yung nagresearch and parang wala siyang pakealam, tuloy tuloy pa rin siya sa pag rereview. Eh pano naman ako? ni hindi pa ko nakapagbubuklat dahil lahat saken nagtatanong? I didn't have a choice so I just fixed everything. nakakainis! Considering na siya pa yung Top 1.

Tuesday; I cried :| I swear, bihira ako umiyak because I don't want people to pity me or look at me as a weak person, pero last tuesday napuno na talaga ako. Super sumama yung loob ko towards everything that happened plus the pressure na din siguro :| Ayun nga, nainis samen yung Adviser namin dahil sa usual section stuffs: masyado na kaming maingay, matigas ang ulo, bastos and everything at kahit naman ako nainis na nun kasi hindi naman lahat involve sa mga kalokohan na yun pero dahil nga section kami; Miss one Miss all. Kaya ako naiinis kasi ang daming insensitive, hindi man lang nila naisip yun na may nadadamay sa kanila at dahil nga galit yung adviser namin, nagpaquiz siya ng lesson na hindi pa nadidiscuss :| first period pa yun :|

After that, yung adviser namin nagpaiba ng seating arrangement tapos yung mga maiingay/makukulit nilagay niya sa isolated chairs, then he told us to stand up and occupy the seats we want but no one followed. Then dahil dun, he told me to make a new seating arrangement so ako naman, I asked kung pwede bang bahala na sila kung san nila gusto umupo then he said ok.

Ayoko na kasi ng conflict ayoko ng saken magrereflect lahat ng side comments kung ako gagawa nung seating arrangement. saka HINDI NILA AKO TITIGILAN.

When our adviser left the room, ang dami sa kanila nagsasabi `Zaira tabi mo ko kay ano ha`.I felt irritated, nung binigyan sila ng chance na lumipat hindi nila ginawa then ako yung kukulitin nila about the seat plan? eh hindi pa nga ako gumagawa, ano ako? ROBOT? tss :| because I was so pissed, hindi na ko nag entertain ng questions and I just wrote on the board na after lunch pumasok sila ng classroom for the seating arrangement. Kasi napapagod na ko magsalita ng magsalita then no one will listen, so sinulat ko na lang.

Pagkatapos ng lunch, I arranged the chairs tapos pinapasok ko na sila, pero ayun. konti lang sumunod. So I closed the door and told the ones who followed to choose their seats, kasi wala atang balak pumasok yung mga nasa labas.

When everyone was already inside, I told them `ok! pumunta na kayo sa gusto niyong upuan` then after that ang daming vacant seats tapos yung iba nakatayo so I asked them `ayaw niyo ba dito?` blah blah blah and It was so gulo~ kasi habang nagsasalita ka nakikipagsabayan sila, tapos yung iba gusto magkakatabi sila kahit wala na ngang seats, so what I did was compromise them and told them to transfer kung gusto talaga nilang magkakatabi, pero ayaw naman nila sumunod kasi gusto nga nila sa pwesto na yun, EH HINDI NGA PWEDE NA YUNG PAREHONG GUSTO NILA ANG MASUSUNOD. I was already angry that time so I told them `Ano ba? Ano ba talaga gusto niyo? gusto niyo ako na lang gumawa?` but most of them is still talking. Naiiyak na ako nun dahil sa inis, Ikaw na nga yung nagbibigay ng favor sa kanila tapos ganun pa yung ugaling ipapakita nila sayo? WTF right? I told them `Alam niyo abuso kayo, kaya maraming nagagalit saten eh`. Buti na lang sumunod na sila.

after everything was ok and arranged, I called Therese then told her to come with me at the locker's area. Ayun, dun na ko umiyak :( I told her everything I feel.

Since the start of this school year, I tried my best to have no enemy or any kind of conflict towards anyone because I don't want last year's event to happen again. I tried my best to consider everyone first before I proceed with a decision that will affect us as a Section. Pero alam mo yun? I just bursted out last Tuesday kasi ako na nga yung Nageeffort para sa lahat then at the end of the day ako pa yung masama? I do think of all of them and what they would think before I make a decision kasi I hate to hear negative feedbacks na masama ako and blah blah blah. Pero ganun pa dn eh, I do all my best for the sake of my HS life and friends without expecting anything in return. I just want them to atleast APPRECIATE AND RESPECT me as a friend and kahit hindi na bilang President nila. Pero anong sinsusukli nila? negative feedbacks? na ganito ganyan ako? tss. :| I just felt so betrayed that time. I just felt so down. I felt na lahat sila plastic, that's why I just told Therese alone.

Wednesday; It was our dissecting day, umaga pa lang our classroom was already loud kasi ang daming malalandi ~x(. Takot sila sa palaka tapos paglalaruan pa nila? then they would shout? irritating db? saka hindi pa mabuti yung pakiramdam ko, I still feel out of placed that time.

While we are dissecting, yung first steps parang maiiyak na ko sa takot at pandidiri :| kasi we have to paralyze the frog first by stabbing its head, so while I was holding the frog na pumapalag pa :| I can feel it on my hands so I was like `OH MY GOD, DI KO NA KAYA` :| but when the frog was already on the pan, I felt a little bit fine and already amazed. Specially dun sa heart, kasi It was still beating kahit naremove na siya sa body nung frog. :D

After Lunch, nagulat kami kasi may nagsabi na galit daw yung teacher namin sa T.H.E kasi may pinapagawa pero marami pa ring nasa labas, kaya ayun.

Bottomline; yung homework/experiment namin sa Bio ay naging Thursday ang deadline, so all of us was like WTF! tatlo yun ah? may Project pa tayo sa Values, SS and English `ano kala nila saten?` and everyone was complaining but I kept quiet, kasi kami rin naman may kasalanan so we don't have the right to complain at the first place, I just talked to our Values teacher to move our deadline for Monday so we can held the Interview on Saturday. So luckily, he agreed.

Thursday; I was already irritated early in the morning, kasi nung wednesday, nagusap usap kami ng classmates ko na magkakalapit to do the homework ng sama sama para hindi kami mahirapan, so while we were looking for the needed materials, nakasalubong namen yung adviser namin who is also our teacher in Bio. Sabi naman sa kanya na ang hirap maghanap nung materials at mahal kung mag iindividual kami so sabi niya `sige pwede na kayo mag group, kahit ilan kayo. Pero kailangan niyo inform lahat ng classmates niyo para fair, kung hindi niyo maiinform, hindi pwede` so we were happy. Ginawa namin lahat para mainform sila tapos ang nangyare, when everone was already informed. Ang daming nagsabi na `Zaira pwedeng sa inyo na lang ako?` so out of pity, I agreed. Kawawa din naman kasi saka sabi kahit ilan daw.`

tapos kinabukasan kami pa yung may pinakakulelat na grade? kasi biglang ang dami na naming kagroup kahit wala naman sila natulong? tapos nakakainis lang kasi kami yung nageffort para mapadali kahit papano yung homework tapos kami pa yung kulelat? Nakakainis.

The rest of the day was BUM. wala ako sa mood eh.

Friday; the DEADLINE day.

It was our project making in Bio about the compilations of what we did last wednesday. pero dahil may flag ceremony tapos nag sermon pa yung prefect of discipline, nabawasan yung time namin. We told our adviser na hindi namin matatapos yun within the period but he was already decided na hangang period niya lang pwedeng gumawa. Everything was RUSH.

English time; our project was about reporting pero I was not feeling well so I prayed the whole period na sana hindi kami abutin and luckily, natupad naman :)

Nung gabi, we had our Caroling pero nainis ulit ako :| yung iba kasing kasama last week hindi na pwede tapos yung mga dumagdag pasway na, late pa :| tapos yung ruote namin nakakatakot :| madaming aso tapos inabutan pa kami ng ulan :( so yung iba nag decide na umuwi pero nung tumila yung ulan, I told them to proceed sa safer place kaya kahit papano naka 200+php kami.

UPDATE

2009-12-12T06:53:00.000-08:00

I'm having problems on uploading pics -.- kaninang umaga pa :(

So I'm so sorry for not blogging regularly. Masyado na namang marami ang nangyare :( full update tomorrow!

.

2009-12-09T04:32:00.000-08:00

This day was superb! ang daming nangyare plus the `dissecting` part. Super duper many projects and homeworks to do and the `mabigat` feeling is hitting me again, so yeah. I just made this entry kasi napansin ko isang entry pa lang ang nagagawa ko for December :| I'm going to tell everything tomorrow plus the pictures :)

New Layout

2009-12-07T01:41:00.000-08:00

New Layout;

I know it's really simple. There's just something wrong with my previous skin so I had no choice but to change it :| though it was a rush, I'm glad it turned out ok.:)

Sorry for not being active, it's just that my laptop is still broken and the one who was supposed to fix it is so busy he have no time :(

Christmas is fast approaching and so as our Christmas Party. We decided to have a Christmas Carol last Friday and it was SO FUN :D laughtrip on the way and even though many of us wasn't able to join, umabot pa dn kami sa 10 :DDD we were able to gather 460php for just a night :))

Another thing is we're going to disect frogs on Wednesday so :DD PRAY for me! I'm going to post pictures after.

I miss you fellow bloggers :( specially my online pals; Cae, Aerine, ate Yuki and other Teentalker.

I don't really know

2009-11-29T02:42:00.000-08:00

I'm having this kind of feeling again and It makes me hate myself for feeling this bullshits. :|

I don't know where to start ranting about my life and this is actually my 2nd post attempt because I'm not sure if I want to post nonsense, negative and pointless stuffs here at my blog, but I guess there's no other place to release this.

First of all, EWAN KO. I'm feeling really bum since last last week. Feeling ko lumulutang lang ako and, everything just passes by and my mind is so SABAW! I feel so lantang gulay that I don't know what I want and what to do kahit alam ko na may DAPAT akong gawin :|

I'm so disappointed of myself and I know I've been ill tempered this past few days.

My exams results were just normal except for Geometry and History that when I went to school last Tuesday, some of my classmates were asking `ano nangyare sayo` and I was like `bakit? ano ba nangyare?`.

Haay, I don't know, I don't want to sound `mayabang` but is it really my responsibility to achieve everyone's expectations na para bang it's a super big sin na bumama ako?:| gaaaaah, hindi ba ko pwede mag pahinga muna from being `someone everyone expects me to be? `

I'm tired of what's happening, I'm tired of planning things that no one seems to care, I'm tired of being the person they think I am. I'm tired of being the magaling that almost everyone depends on. I'm tired of being the one who figures out everything. I'm tired of the people who thinks they don't need to care kasi nandito naman ako :|

I may look happy but I am not. Maybe I'm just good at hiding what I really feel.

I admit that I am happy at some time but it's just for a while :| happy ako nung friday because we had the Math and Science camp, happy ako kahapon kasi nakapagbike ulit ako after a long time but after that, what next? I don't know again, It would just be all neutral again, pagpasok sa Tuesday ganun ulit :| and honestly, I don't really feel Christmas this year :|

I feel friendless and taken for granted :| I feel used and judged and I'm just tired of proving everyone wrong.

I'm not PROUD and SATISFIED of what I am anymore :(

I'm sorry about this rants I believe you don't understand. I'm sorry na bihira na nga lang ako mag update puro drama pa:| I'm just being emo today and I already miss my laptop :|

Exam & New Moon

2009-11-21T03:17:00.000-08:00

Sorry! but I really have to blog about this. And about the Hiatus thing, maybe it's too exaggerated so I might just be a `palitaw` for the next few days :D

EXAM; The 2nd day was KABOOOOM =)) It was a super life changing experience to cheat and have a kodigo =)) well, at least it was fun =))

1st and 2nd day our adviser swapped with our super KIND teacher who was the last section's adviser =)) Graaaabe. I think the whole room was already doing IT =)))) but he just don't care and he even told some of my classmates na `ang cheap naman, RHGP lang nangongopya ka pa` =))) like WTF! super bait niya and it waaaaaaaas really a super DAY =))

Our 3rd day was Geom, Social Studies and Fil and we thought that he would still be the one to look after us but unfortunately, he did not and we are SURPRISED when out STRICT adviser entered the room and said `KEEP ALL YOUR THINGS` and we were like `OHMYGOD. THIS IS IT` :(((( tapos our first subject pa was Filipino when it was supposed to be math so it was like the so called PEARL HARBOR ATTACK :( grabe :| super kabado kaming lahat.

after that, we went to SM to watch 2012 but switched NEW MOON instead because 2012 will start 5 pm and most of us are not allowed to go home late :| and it was also dissapointing that many of us are not allowed so only the 8 of us went :| I'm just so GLAD my mom allowed me to go :D

New Moon was overall average and better than Twilight in some aspects :)) the effects are better, less missing scenes, HOTT WEREWOLWES =))) but I'd still Go for ALEC :bd

Dakota Fanning and Taylor Lautner made it mouthwatering =)) but it was still BORING:) I doubt if I would understand it if I haven't read the book. The scene switching are confusing, BELLA WAS IS FLIRT :))) I really laughed at the motorcycle scene, too many slow motions, and it was too CLOSED UP :))

I would really be happier if we watched this. :)) I'm so excited for it and I even watched Armageddon, Pearl Harbor, Patriot, and Saving Private Ryan before the movie :)) oh well, we're gonna watch it next week.

HIATUS

2009-11-20T03:32:00.000-08:00

There's something wrong with my laptop so I DON'T HAVE A LIFE anymore :(( sorry :| I promise to make it up to you and I swear I have so many things to blog about :D

This Hiatus may last for about 2 weeks :(

BLOG AWARD

2009-11-13T20:44:00.000-08:00

Neno's Award

First of all I want to thank KIMI for giving me this award :D

The rules and regulations for this award are:

1. As a dedication for those who love blogging and love to encourage friendships through blogging.

2. To seek the reasons why we all love blogging.

3. Put the award in one post as soon as you receive it.

4. Don’t forget to mention the person who gives you the award.

5. Answer the award’s question by writing the reason why you love blogging.

6. Tag and distribute the award to as many people as you like.

7. Don’t forget to notify the award receivers and put their links in your post.

I started blogging last Summer '09 out of boredom and I was also encouraged by a fellow teentalker. I've always wanted to have a blog so I could have my own domain where I could tell all my secrets and rants about life but I find it so confusing on how to operate one. Until last summer, I asked a favor from a teentalker to teach me how and then poof :D I had an insant blog and I spent almost a day to learn about CSS and CODES :D

Most of the stuffs here are not-so-interesting stories about my everyday life where I coudn't tell anybody personally without he/she teasing me. Well, It's also one reason why I created a blog. I want something unknown to my common friends and my family. I wan't something to tell my worries and problems without asking many question :D

Btw, these are blogs I'm inspired to read with their roller-coster lives and interesting point of views. :D

Friday the 13th

2009-11-13T05:12:00.000-08:00

TGIF!

Happy Friday dear bloggers :D parang kahapon lang Monday pa lang, tapos ngayon Friday na naman :D I would say that this week was `the bomb` =)))

Ang daming nangyare starting Monday, although I find every day fast approaching and Boring. Monday was my MALAS day because we lead the flag ceremony on the spot plus I FORGOT MY BIO PROJECT. thank god for Lorielle. PLUS we had the groupings on MAPEH, which was UGHH =))

Tuesday was neutral =)) so let's proceed on Wednesday. It's the Card giving day and the posting of honor rolls which I already mentioned.

Thursday was the OHMYGOD IS THIS REAL day :D

He said SORRY =))))))))) and my heart melted. LOL. I was surprised =)) kasi it was puppet making day for Arts so everybody was busy and it's just normal for the two of us to bump in each other and just ignore it =)) pero I don't know, he's starting to act weird since Monday, he started to talk to me in a civilized way like asking what's our homework and `nasan si ganito/ganyan` so I was just answering like he's just somebody.

It was T.L.E time and the seat beside him is empty. He called my name then told me to transfer there so I was like `huh? ako ba?` and I asked why and sabi niya lang `basta`. Out of respect, I told him `later` but I really don't have plans on transferring.
Nung malapit na magtime he asked me kung lilipat pa ba ko so ayun, lumipat na ko para wala na siyang masabi.

When I transferred, he automatically said `happy monthsary` so nagtaka ako, I asked him `monthsary niyo?` tapos sabi niya hindi daw, 1 buwan na daw pala kasi yung nakalipas. kaya nalaman ko na yung tinutukoy niya is kung kelan nagstart yung di namin pagpapansinan.
I remained speechless kasi di ko alam sasabihin ko kaya nakinig na lang ako. tapos bigla niya sinabi `di ko akalaing natiis kita` at `kumusta` then blah blah. he was the one talking most of the time until he open the topic about our conflict, ayun :-\

to cut the story short. I think we're already ok, but not me.

I'm still not comfortable to be his friend again, feeling ko kasi masyadong tumagal saka nasanay na ko sa routine na hindi ko siya napapansin. Naging steady na din yung feelings ko and I even decided to go on with `no pansinan at all` :| oh well, at least he made the move. :D Hindi na din siguro babalik yung dati naming closeness.

Friday; the Bad-minton day =))))

We're the one who lead the gymnastics and kahapon lang kami nagpractice =))))) It was a tiring morning plus our CD had an error.

It was physically tiring because we played Badminton and Volleyball most of the day and of course, I still don't know how to act being his friend again so it was major AWKWARD.

tapos dismissal was postponed pa because Crystel's badminton racket was destroyed kaya ayun :\ umiyak siya ng umiyak :| it was a long story but It was some sort of `napagtripan` yung racket =)) nalasog lasog talaga, hinampas kasi eh. Then on the Corridor sinalubong kami ng umiiyak na si Rhyme, she just suddenly burst on tears with the same crap. BOYS :))

Oh well, ano kaya mangyayare next week which is the EXAM and NEW MOON week =)) I'm not that excited for NEW MOON anymore, parang mas gusto ko nga panuorin yung 2012 eh:| We were planning to watch it after exams but unfortunately, my mom won't allow me :(

It's Saturday tomorrow and I'm not sure if we have swimming classes but Angel and I have to go to SBO's Medical Mission on Sunday. haaaay :| I want to rest :(

And yes, Let's pray for Manny Pacquiao's Fight with Cotto

Ranking

2009-11-10T07:20:00.000-08:00

I ranked 2nd :D

Oh well, I know I'm not the top 1 anymore and it has never been my wish or dream to be on the top, nor did I expected it sabi ko nga sa previous post ko :)

I'm happy with the results because at least wala akong palakol db? =))

saka at least wala akong effort na nasayang and I don't want to pressure my self just to be consistent of my rank, nothing's permanent nga db? :D

and right after I saw my name at that sheet of paper last quarter, I already knew It won't be long because someone's more determined to achieve it and I consider that person my friend, nevertheless :)

Grades do not measure intelligence - themarinegeek.tumblr.com

Right, it's just grades and it does not measure the capability of the mind and most of the time, it's just a matter of memorization :))

I don't want to bury myself with a book at the corner of the room just to be THERE AT THE TOP OF THE PAPER kasi it doesn't really matter so It's not a big deal for me anymore. btw, CONGRATS CRYSTEL :)

Another thing is about HATE MAILS =)) oh well, I'm starting to receive some but I don't mind it, plus feedbacks from someone out there =)) na FRIEND ko pa kuno ((:

The thing is, kung may ayaw ka saken I would gladly appreciate it if you'd say it right before me and not behind me, kasi tinuturing kitang kaibigan as well as everyone else, so If I annoy or irritate you at times. Please avoid confronting me to ask for help. PLASTIK =))))

I know I am BOSSY but does it harm you? :-\ ang tanong dun, `inaano ba kita`? db =))

alam kong BOSSY ako dahil FYI hindi ikaw ang unang taong nagsabi saken niyan and even my mother told me, so If you can't deal with it. BACK OFF. No one's forcing you to be my friend. I don't need to change things I'm used to if it doesn't harm anyone either. I won't change for you, ILAN AT SINO KA BA? =))

Right now I'm studying how to `not mind what others think` kasi sabi nga `don't mind others opinion if you want to be happy` =))

Oh well, Basta ako I treat everyone as friend although sometimes naiinis ako and It's just normal, hindi ko rin sinisisi kung sino ka mang naiinis saken but PLEASE don't change the story, ayt =)) keep it for yourself if you don't want to approach me.

I'm trying my very best to avoid haters and any kind of complications towards my friens *kaya nga 2 na lang ako eh* =)) so It's not my problem anymore. I can't please everybody and Nobody's Perfect. PERIOD

Update about lovelife; ZERO.

Super crush and I are still at Silent war and I don't care anymore =)) nagiba na dn kasi yung kwento sa kanya eh =)) and The issue here is not about what I felt, It's about what he did and what he thinks of me. SO HINDI KAMI BATI =)) and sometimes I still find it hard to act when he's around, my world seems to be so small =))

Tapos yung nagpaparamdam, nawala na namang parang bula =))

thought of the day;

In the end, it doesn't even matter

Sembreak

2009-11-07T07:34:00.000-08:00

Sorry, I had to cut my entry because it would be so long :D

Ayun, Sembreak was BITIN but it's kind of FUN.

We went home to Pampanga (my father's province) to visit my lola and my grandfather's grave too.

It was Friday evening when SANTI arrived at our place and he was totally CRAZY, I even though that our trip would be postponed because of the heavy rain and strong wind.

I was spending the night at tumblr and facebook that time because there's no internet connection there, when the rain and wind started to get crazy I decided not to sleep.

It was nearly 2 am in the morning when it started to creep me out. The water is slowly rising and the rain won't stop, My window is nearly crack because of the wind so I decided to wake up my mother and we waited until our sundo arrived.

They arrived nearly 4 am and we waited until Santi calmed down before going and it was about 8 am already.

__________

During the sembreak, I realized something.

I realized na mas malalim masugatan ang mga lalake and it's true that Men are physically stronger but women are emotionally capable.

Sometimes guys just can't let it out because they think with their minds and they often think that crying makes them weak. So we don't have the right to blame boys in general when we get hurt because all is fair in love and war, and sometimes we think na tayo na lang nahihirapan because we don't see them suffer.

Honestly, I grew up mostly with boys because I don't have a sister and my girl cousins and I have huge age gaps and with my father's side, she just too aloof with me, considering there's just two of us.

At the last day of our vacation, I had a convo with my two elder cousins, We are both Panganays and have stubborn brothers too so yeah, we're the ones who understand each other in the family and it's just too sad that we grew old and apart from each other.

We talked about their Ex-es and our Frustrations with our parents, And I've notices that everything seemed to change since our lolo died :(

We seldom have family gatherings, my tito and tita are fighting, my dad went abroad and we are not kids anymore :( I just miss the old days, the days when we would exchange gifts and my lolo would portray as Santa during Christmas and the Fireworks and the sleepless nights and everything :( The pillow pillow fights and hide and seek games :(

I missed being a kid. No problem and No worries and I sympathize my two cousins, they are both not-so-over with a girl who left them for someone else., even if they had tons of girlfriends after that, It's still one girl they want to be with :(. I wonder what could've happen if my lolo is still here, I wonder if my cousin would still get pregnant and commit abortion if he's still here, I wonder if my tito and tita would still fight over non sense things :( There's just too many things that happened since he died of Cancer :(

me and my brother :)

HALLOWEEN PARTY

2009-11-07T06:20:00.000-08:00

UPDATE

ok, this is it na talaga. Sorry if I haven't post any since the last week of October.

It's just that I feel so SABAW these past few days plus the weird weather and boredom attack.

Oct 29;

Halloween Party, ughh, it was BORING with capital B =)) there was no program at all, just the battle of the bands and a dance competition (which was boring too) the bands were not that great and honestly, it was really boring. The happy parts were just the pictoriaaaaaals =)) and it's Earvin's Birthday

*pardon :) may lollipop eh*

L-R: Me, Ann, Jayvee

Lorielle and Crystel :D
L-R:Dillip,(IDK),Crystel,Me,Jenny,Jomicar,Ann
L-R: Angela,Earvin,Dillip,Caster,Jenny,Crystel,Gillian

Ann,Jomicar,Joanne

Another thing that happened that night is that I texted him *super crush* kasi I saw that he has a phone so I asked a friend kung anung gamit niyang number that time. I asked him `magkagalit ba tayo` then he JUST replied `Ewan` WTF eh? alam niyo yung feeling na `hello~ I took the first step!` I wanted us to be okay at least before sembreak, para naman wala kaming burden db? tsss, then he would just tell me EWAN? how inappropriate is that? edi ayun, bahala na siya. Magsama sila ng PRIDE niya ~x(

Buti na lang I was with Lorielle and Crystel the whole time =)) laughing and laughing and laughing :))

I was even shocked when someone randomly told me. `ang cute mo tumawa, nakakainlove` WTF talaga =)) honestly, I dooon't want the feeling kapag tinitingnan/tinititigan ako, I would always ask BAKIT =)) so wala lang, baka pinagtitripan lang ako nun :))

Dull

2009-11-04T06:33:00.000-08:00

I'm so sorry for not updating this again :(

Mabigat na naman kasi pakiramdam ko these past few days since Oct. 29 :| plus Sembreak and this coming 3rd quarter :|

I might update about everything that happened tomorrow :)

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2009-10-28T02:56:00.000-07:00

LOVE/INFATUATION

As I've mentioned on my previous post, some of my girlfriends had been crying over some stupid guys these past few days

. No, Don't get me wrong, I do not blame anyone for being in love because I've been in love too. but I know that stupidity and being miserable is a choice.

#1: Someone told me about his feelings for a girl and asked my opinion about it, if it's already LOVE or just INFATUATION. I told him that I cannot answer his question dahil siya lang makakaalam nun, but as what I see, It's just a strong attraction and the girl's feeling is not reciprocal.

He asked my `why?` what's the difference between the two` then I told him.

`nasasaktan kang makita siyang may kasamang iba kasi nasasaktan ang pride mo na hindi ikaw ang kasama niya, na bakit pinagpalit mo sya sa mas gwapo sayo` he answered `eh bakit tuwing magkasama kami parang ok naman, saka last week lang ok kami saka parang malapit na niya ko sagutin` I said `yun na nga eh, gusto ko niya kahapon pero hindi na ngayon, kasi nagsawa na siya. SO IT IS NOT LOVE`

Love and Like is UNLIKE. For example sa mga gamit, pag nagshoshopping ka at may makita kang maganda gusto mo na agad, but when you already have want you want, you will suddenly get bored of having it, and it's because you just like it but not LOVE pero minsan may mga gamit ka na kahit panget hindi mo magawang itapon, may mga taong AYAW mo pero hindi mo matiis and it's because you just plain LOVE them, as simple as that and if she does love you she will never get tired and seek someone behind your back.

#2: last TUESDAY, we were chatting outside when one of my girlfriends went out and cried, so I was worried, we asked her why and she didn't answer.

Pero nung kaming dalawa na lang, she told me that she cried because her CRUSH confessed on her Last Saturday and she don't know what to do and what to feel kasi iba yung pinapakita ni guy. I just told her to weigh everything first, weigh her feeling towards the guy and know her priorities before deciding. I just wish everything would be okay.

#3: The same day, another girlfriend of mine cried. I asked her why and she said it's about her suitor.

She told her suitor to stop courting because she's not allowed to have a boyfriend yet and she doesn't want her KUYA to talk with this guy and stop him from courting. kasi mas masakit un

Syempre masyado siya mabait,siya na nagsabi dun sa guy but unfortunately the guy can't understand and she felt guilty because of it. May tendency daw kasi yun na mag suicide :| I just told her to stop feeling guilty because she just did what she has to do.

#4: I saw Lorielle (my ex-close friend) crying this morning dahil nagbreak NA NAMAN sila ng boyfriend niya. I don't know, I am already irritated with her actions.

Kasi this is NOT THE FIRST TIME, HINDI PA RIN SIYA NATATAUHAN and SHE IS PATHETIC! This is not her first break up and she's still not tired of eveything, mas pagod na ata kami intindihin siya.

Gill and I talked after asking her what happened and we had the same opinion

This is not her first boyfriend nor breakup and everytime she breaks up with a guy, ALL THE BLAME will be on the guy's shoulder, para bang she really really really makes herself so kawawa to everyone's eyes so everybody would blame the guy.

The first time I saw her cry over I boy, naawa ako sa kanya but this time. Its ALL SHAME and BLAME.

I can't blame the guy anymore because I can see what's happening and she CANNOT CONTROL HERSELF!

There's nothing wrong with being in love but make sure to reserve something for yourself as a woman, Ikaw ba, iiyak ka sa harap ng madaming tao dahil sa isang lalakeng ilang beses ka ng nasaktan? why can't she even have self-preservation? hindi ka na maawa dahil hindi naman yun yung unang beses, you would wonder why she still go on with that? I don't blame her for being in love pero MAAWA naman siya sa sarili niya! We always give advice but she won't listen. She seemed so LOST, kahit nag lelesson kami puro LALAKE YUNG PINAGUUSAPAN NILA. And can't she put first things first? I don't know. I'm just mad because she's my friend, at least became my friend. And I don't know what's happening to her anymore, pati pagaaral napabayaan na niya :(

There are no rules for love, but you should know what's right and wrong.

Quiz Bee

2009-10-28T02:10:00.000-07:00

Quizz Bee

I am not expecting it =)) WE WON :)) 2nd place. I didn't even reviewed that much, just random stuffs from last year's class and a little recap and my groupmates were AWSOME =)) We're team Girls Over Flowers =)) LOL

We were just laughing all the time and I think it really helped me =)) we even tossed coin and played bato bato piks for the answer =)) COOOLYEAH! We enjoyed it to the nth power unlike other teams, I can see that they were so tensed and I don't wanna feel the same way so ayun. sabi ako ng sabi ng HI 5 and CONGRATULATIONS =))))))

Nakakatuwa, hindi ko nga feel na quizz bee pala yun =)) oh well :))

Food for thought;

Believe in yourself and follow you heart.

HOLLOWEEN PARTY tomorrow then SEMBREAK =)) too bad our teacher gave us a HOMEWORK :( and resume of classes will be on Nov. 4.

I miss my fellow teentalkers :( Aerine, Cae, Ate Yuki, Jeanne, MONCH, Rio, Jeanne and many many more :(

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2009-10-27T02:40:00.000-07:00

I missed blogging =))

I haven't updated this blog for days because of school and school and school :)) and I also met someone.:)) He's nice and I'm still weighing my options.

so ayun, I still haven't organized my thoughts.

We had our practical exam on swimming last Saturday and unfortunately only few of us attended.

Monday; Test papers were distributed and I got 85 in Filipino which is the lowest, so far =))

Today was a tough day, umaga pa lang 2 of my friends cried! dahil sa lalake =)) haaay.

Oh well, Life is a series of choices and I already chose mine :)

Si super crush is super crush na lang, plain that. and I don't have plans on pursuing my feelings towards him because I know there's a negative possibility of being US.

We're still invisible with each other and that's fine with me. I don't know what's wrong with him. Parang ako pa talaga yung may kasalanan. tss.

We have Quizz Bee tomorrow for the UN and holloween party on thursday. :)) wish me luck :)

SORRY ANG GULO NG POST KO :)))

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2009-10-21T04:17:00.000-07:00

WEDNESDAY

Everything is starting to be out of control :|

Yeah, I got my wish granted. I am DISTRACTED.

I can't focus on exams because I can't stop thinking about the 2 of them :| things are just getting more complicated and I never saw anything like this coming :|

Eto pa, ako pa ata yung lumalabas na masama :D yeah right! Bakit kaya hindi na lang niya sabihin saken? para namang hindi niya kilala yung ugali ko. IT WAS JUST A JOKE! tapos ganun? :| as if naman we're on the same situation. ASA! tapos he's making a big fuss about it pa! sa iba pa niya sinabi!

People are starting to get curious of what's happening between us and I DON'T WANT TO MAKE THIS A BIG ISSUE!

Tapos yung isa naman biglang susulpot. NANAMAN! then If I'd take a chance on him bigla na naman sya mawawalang parang bula =)) FVCK! pinagugulo nila buhay ko eh

Sabi nga ni Kaye sa PHR kanina,

hindi ko naman kasi to inaasahan

Sorry If lately I've been posting craps like this. I just want to express my feelings -_-

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2009-10-20T06:06:00.000-07:00

TUESDAY

Angel and I and other SBO officers helped packing the relief goods today and we were excused from classes.

Masarap, Magaan sa pakiramdam yung feeling na may tutulungan ka :) kahit MAINIT dun sa room =)) and my Allergies attacked me again. :|

Binalik na niya yung susi saken :| aalis na daw sya ng locker kaya sabi ko OK. I didn't bother to ask the reason anymore. I knew it already. :|

I think I'm starting to get over him :) and I'm thankful because he's very helpful for ignoring me too =)) kahit di ko alam kung bakit :)

Oh well, maybe it's the best thing to do for now :) There's exam tomorrow so I have to set aside everything coz I don't wanna have a failing grade :D

2009-10-19T09:33:00.001-07:00

HAHA

Oh-kay, really funny =)) super unexpected.

May nagtext saken, about 5 minutes ago saying;

Kaboses mo yung nasa radyo :)
wala lang, alam kong tulog ka na pero naalala lang kita bigla.

Miss na kita Zai.

WTF =)))) I was surprised na baka wrong send pa tong mokong na to pero may name eh =)) di ko akalain na magtetext siya para lang sbihin yun :))

watta distraction :))

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2009-10-19T08:52:00.000-07:00

Untitled.

I just don't wanna answer the `kumusta ka na` and `what's new` question one by one that's why I decided to make this entry.

I'm still alive and thank god :)) but I really don't feel well, INSIDE.

Ewan, I still have this weird feeling :| yung parang these past few days and bigat bigat ng pakiramdam ko and I try so hard to distract myself from getting insane =)) basta. MOODY ako nitong mga nakaraang araw and I don't even know why -_- specifically since my birthday

I wanted to blog about this crap inside me since Saturday, but I just can't organize my thoughts since. :| so sorry If I'm so MAGULO right now.

I wonder why I'm still awake considering I have consecutive quizzes in BIO,ENG, and GEOM tomorrow morning :| Talk about cramming. :|

I don't need an Inspiration because it Expires, better give me some DISTRACTIONS :) pretty please? :)

<3

2009-10-16T01:37:00.000-07:00

Congratulate me :D

I'm a little bit proud of myself =)))))))))) NATIIS KO SIYA =)) for 1 week ha :)) as in no pansinan, kwentuhan and what-so-ever stuffs :D kewl!

Wala lang, di ko siya pinapansin kasi masama pa rin loob ko dahil hindi niya na nga ako binati nung Monday siya pa yung may ganang magalit tapos hindi pa nag sorry, edi bahala siya :)) saka feeling ko din sinagot na siya eh, edi I'm happy for him =)) ehos :))

Pero ayos lang naman talagaaa =)) super dami namang umaagaw ng attention ko eh, may TUMBLR, FACEBOOK, TEENTALK, POCKETBOOKS, PBB at yung mga EPAL sa tabi tabi =)) (rhymiiiiing) hahaha

*credits to TUMBLR.*

kung hindi pa talaga niya magets, di ko na alam kung ano sya =))

UPDATES:

Monday;

ayun nga, birthday ko so nakwento ko na :D move on tuesday na tayo (:

Tuesday;

eto umaga pa lang naguumapaw na ko sa gagawin tapos nabadtrip pa ko nung nakita ko sya -_- tinanong ko sya kung bakit hindi nya ko nabati ang sabi niya lang `may sakit ako eh` WTF =)) sobrang gasgas ng excuse niya. are they really scheduled to get sick on special occasions? =)) edi sabi ko FINE.

After lunch nagcomputer lab lang then the rest is free time -_- di na nagdidiscuss yung teachers eh.

Wednesday;

Wala, wala atang importanteng nangyare, nagbigay lang ng Project sa Values na mag interview ng mga taong in a relationship. At itong si Jeric SUPER KULIT! pinipilit niyang may Jowa ako eh wala naman -_- how I wish nga eh =))

saka kung sakali, di din ako papayag kasi ayoko maging public ang lovelife ko -_- hangang dito lang to sa blog ko :))

Pagdating naman sa bahay, I always stay up late until 11 pm everyday just to watch PBB =)) GO MELASON! I'm super kilig with them! to the highest power. kahit luka-luka si melai :D

And I do pity Kath and Jimson kasi super nahihirapan sila -_- pero still lesson learned :D

Thursday:

Boring nung umaga, wala kasi kaming Geom so FREE TIME. I don't feel like going out so I just read a book.

Si Jayvee, si Jeric (yung binabaeng ayaw umamin) at Jamaica (super kulit na kaibigan) ay naguusap ng I-don't-know-what tapos maya maya bigla na lang sumigaw si Jamaica. `BAKLA KA KASI, BAKLA, BAKLA` as in literally sigaw ha =)) edi si ako naman biglang HAHAHAHAHA automatically, ang adik nilang dalawa =)) si Jayvee tahimik na lang na tumatawa kasi as in NAGSISIGAWAN sila kahit magkaharap lang =)) nagmumurahan pa kasi eh tapos si Jeric naman #1 PIKON. sus! ang weird ng mga tao -_- =)) kala mo nagbibiruan pa yun pala pareho ng pikon, di tuloy makausap ng matino si Jamaica nung lunch :D

tapos it super rained hard after lunch -_- grabe nga eh, naglalaro pa naman kami ng BANG-SAK nun kasi free time =)) (IKR, super childish!) haha, tapos biglang humangin at umulan ng malakas =)) pati classroom pinasok, kaya ayun, kwentuhan session na lang kami but guess what?

nandun siya sa nililigawan niya :| ewan, I don't know why I care so much about him. pfft.

Pagdating ni Sir gumawa na lang kami ng Poster making at Slogan para sa UN, then when I got home. natulog na lang ako tapos tuloy tuloy na -_- di tuloy ako nakanuod ng PBB :| HINDI KO NAPANUOD YUNG PROPOSAL NI ROB KAY RICA -_- haaay.

Friday;

TGIF =))

hindi ako badtrip nung umaga kasi mahaba ang tulog ko =)) so smiling face ako.

Walang ginawa sa Biology kaya nirevise ko na lang yung Slogan at Poster ko kasi nababoy dahil dun sa Oil Pastel. :|

English: HINDI AKO INABOT =)) akala ko kasi ngayon na ko mag de-declame kasi number 22 ako =)) pero luckily, hangang 21 lang :D sa monday pa ko. (: pagdating ng MAPEH we just played Volleyball then Values pina finalize lang yung para sa project.

Geom; super badtrip ako. :| Our lesson was about Corresponding Angles and Sides of a Triangle eh hindi ko magets kasi nakakalito -_- (totoo naman eh) then we had a seatwork, akala ko tama na yung ginagawa ko, as in binabaliktad ko pa talaga yung paper ko para makuha lang -_-

tapos si Lorielle! bwisit, sabat siya ng sabat! eh naiinis na nga ako kasi hindi ko talaga magets, para bang gusto ko siya sigawan ng `CAN YOU PLEASE SHUT YOUR MOUTH UP?` bwisit eh. Edi siya na perfetc, siya na magaling, SO WHAT? :| pano kaya magegets ng mga katabi niya kung pinanungunahan niya yung teacher? pfft -_- hindi tuloy ako nakakin ng maayos.

Then after lunch tinapos na lang namin yung Slogan and Poster tapos pagkatapos nun nagkagulo na lang silang lahat habang tinatapos ko yung book na binabasa ko -_-

Natamaan pa NIYA ko ng bola sa ulo -_- sa classroom kasi naglalaro. WTF =))

Masyado na ata mahaba =)) bottom line is SIYA pa rin =)) haaay.

I will reveal the name if I'm already over him =)) BINABASA KASI TO NI ANGEL EH =)))))) :P

A Year Older

2009-10-12T02:56:00.000-07:00

`MATANDA KA NA~`

ang sabi ng karamihan ::)

hahahahahaha =)) ironic isn't it? nung bata ka pa kapag nagbirthday ka sasabihin nila `nagdadalaga ka na ah` =)) hay nako.

Ang bata gusto na agad tumanda, pero pag tumanda na sila nagwiwish sila na bumata ulit =))

Kagabi I was literally staring at the clock na parang mapapatigil ko sya sa pagtitig =)) ewan ko, naisip ko kasi na last day ko to bilang 13 -_- mamaya matanda na ko -_- HAAAY. Iniisip ko dn kung kuntento na ba ko sa mga na-achieve or nagawa ko nung 13 ako. Ang biliiiiis kasi, parang kahapon kaka 13 ko lang -_-

Pero honestly, nung 12 ako wish ko maging 14 agad =)) mostly kasi ng crush ko nun 2nd yr. HAHA.

Oh well, ganito siguro talaga kapag tumatanda, nagiging mas emotional (parang nanay ko) haha =)).

Speaking of which, nag monologue siya kagabi sabi niya

`nung baby pa kayo, di ko alam kung ano gusto niyo kasi di pa kayo nagsasalita. Ngayong malaki na kayo, hindi ko pa rin alam dahil hindi niyo na sinasabi saken`

haha =)) sabagay, di ko naman siya masisisi eh kasi tama naman db? :D

About my birthday naman, I didn't planned anything. AS IN ZERO =)) kasi alam ko naman yung sitwasyon namin althought hindi kami naghihirap, nahihiya pa rin ako magrequest na maghanda kasi BAHA pa dito -_- saka mapapagod lang mom ko. AND mejo uneasy pa din ako sa mga friends ko -_- so ayun. I JUST REQUESTED A VERY SPECIAL GIFT. hehe =))

I was shocked kaninang umaga, I was not expecting that everyone would greet me, pero yung mga ineexpect ko na makakaala yun pa yung nagsabi na `birthday mo? HAPPY BIRTHDAY?` so mejo ouch, tapos yung mga hindi ko akalaing alam, eh nauna pang bumati =)) so thanks to them :D

another thing is ABSENT SIYA -_- super disappointing :( (siya pa naman ineexpect ko na unang babati) tapos malamang bukas pag tinanong ko siya sasabihin niya `kasi ganito, kasi ganun` Fvck =))))))) COINCIDENCE pa ba yun? :|

tapos kapag hindi ko siya pinansin siya pa magagalit. -_- hay.

but Overall, It's still satisfying although not out of ordinary birthday (:

14 na ko :D

FOUR-TEEN

2009-10-09T22:14:00.000-07:00

I was telling my mom `lagot ka~ KATORSE na ko` =))))))))

Then she would reply `gusto mo makalbo?` =))) haha.

Truth is, My mom and I are like bestfriends, She's the only person who really really understand me even if she's scolding me most of the time :D

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY :D

btw, I signed up on tumblr but blogger would still be my number 1 :D

I'm also trying to learn PHOTOSHOP :D haha

Stand where I stood

2009-10-07T00:50:00.000-07:00

Have you ever felt misplaced?

Yung tipong hindi mo na alam kung ano at sino ka sa taong yun?
Hindi mo na alam kung ano ang papel mo sa buhay niya kasi iba ang nakikita mo sa sinasabi niya? -_-

Hindi ko na kasi alam kung ano ako sa kanya, kasi iba yung pinapakita niya sa kung ano kami, at ako naman si babae ay ayaw umasa dahil AYOKO. -_- basta.

Nasasaktan ako dahil nakikita ko siyang umiiyak sa isang babaeng hindi siya mahal :| considering na saken pa niya sinasabi LAHAT :| kung ikaw, ano mararamdaman mo kung yung taong mahal/gusto mo ay umiiyak at nagsasabi ng sama ng loob SAYO :| db OUCH? parang sinusubo sayo yung katotohanang may iba siyang mahal at hindi ikaw yun. Ikaw naman, tahimik na nasasaktan dahil hindi naman niya alam ang nararamdaman mo :|

Minsan, ang sarap ng pakiramdam kapag may nagtatanong kung UI KAYO BA? kasi kilig factor para sayo, pero kapag nagsimula na mawala yun anjan na si SAKIT na dala ng katotohanan na kahit kelan hindi magiging OO ang sagot dun. :| Minsan, umaasa ka rin na sana, tama sila :|

Alam kong hindi ko siya MAHAL at AYOKO

Truth hurts eh?

This past few days, most of my friends are having stupid infatuation problems and I don't want to meddle with their decisions, specially they're lovelife.
May nagsabi nga saken `madali magadvice pero pag ikaw hindi mo na magagawa yan` OO alam ko yun at wag mo ko sumbatan, kaya nga iniiwasan ko magsabi ng imposible dahil kahit naman ako, hindi ko rin kayang sundin ang sarili kong advice kung ako na nanjan sa sitwasyon.
I have my own principles to stand with and my own opinions with issues of the heart.

`Kaibigan kita at kailangan mo ng tulong, nandito lang ako. pero kung sa tingin mo na hindi ako makakatulong, una pa lang wag ka ng lumapit.`

Sa mga taong kilala ako, you know I don't sugarcoat my words. If I do, you know it won't help you anyway.
Kung sa tingin ko It's Over then I would say so, I would not push you through a relationship if I know it's a dead end already. Alam ko masakit yung mga sinasabi ko, pero yun yung totoo. Kung magsisinungaling ako sayo at magsasabing ituloy mo yan then hindi mo ko kaibigan.
Hindi ako fan ng mga pampalubag-loob dahil alam kong kahit gano mo pa patagalin at subukang ibsan ang sakit. MASASAKTAN AT MASASAKTAN KA DIN SA HULI.

At mas ayaw ko nun, dahil kaibigan kita.

.

2009-10-01T03:29:00.000-07:00

I'm HAPPY =)))))))

Ngayon ko lang narealize na October na! OCTOBER FEST =)) wohooo! COUNTDOWN na sa BIRTHDAY ko :D

I'm happy even though my skin is burned, my body hurts and the boring intrams. HAHA =)) basta masaya. :D

Namiss kita Malo :*

*will update more tomorrow :D*

Somebody Else's Fairytale

2009-09-30T06:12:00.000-07:00

I'm acting as a temporary fairygodmother :D

I may be single but I'm happy. I'm happy because I know someone out there is happy :D and I'm happy that they're happy. HAHA

I know I'm an insensitive, strict, numb, snob and whatever some people think of me but I'm still cheesy at times =)) I just don't want many people notice it because it may cause complications and confusions of the heart =)) so please understand if you're one of the persons I've accidentallt hurt

Sabi nga nila, `hindi mo kailangan ng lovelife para sumaya, pwede ka namang makiamot sa iba` :D haha. TRUE. You don't owe your happiness to anyone. It's a responsibility to oneself. It's normal to cry but being miserable is a choice (((((((:

2nd day of INTRAMURALS tomorrow. (: will post the pictures on saturday =)) CIAO people (:

BE HAPPY. WE'RE STILL LUCKY. =))

A Helping Hand

2009-09-26T23:31:00.001-07:00

Drop of Point: All PETRON and SHELL branches.
Credits to; http://www.littlemissperky.com

OHMYGOD. Have you seen the news? The whole Philippines is drowning.
WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT? I'm afraid what will NCR look like after the flood subsided.

WHAT DO YOU THINK? would this be a sign for the 2012 tragedy? :o
I read this from a plurk and I realized that It is really possible. Could you Imagine flood higher than YOU? OHMYGOD. I still consider myslelf lucky from what happened yesterday.

PLEASE, Let us pray instead of celebrating because there's no classes tomorrow. Who might know, one of your classmate will be forever absent after this.

Let's pray

WASTED

2009-09-25T22:31:00.000-07:00

YOU WILL NOT BELIEVE WHAT HAPPENED TODAY

Swear! lahat na ng mura nasabi ko na at lahat ng santo tinawag ko na -_-
The Leadership Training was cancelled because of the weather BUT the practice wasn't -_-

GRABEEEEEEE! I was already wasted early in the morning! I woke up super early to prepare then when I arrived at school sarado pa -_- pakshet! tapos cancelled =))

I super don't want to attend the practice anymore pero tuloy daw. kaya ayun. Umulan bumagyo tuloy na.

Eto ang Main event. My mom was already texting me to go home kasi ang lakas na nga ng ulan. pati yung iba pinapauwi na but our trainor said that we should go back after lunch or we'd be disqualified. Sabi ko na lang `di na ko sasali. ok lang yan kesa masabon ako ng nanay ko`

GRABEEEEEE ;D si pogs minumura na ng nanay niya na kung hindi pa siya uuwi malilintikan siya. I wanted to laugh but I can't because BAHAAAAAAAA~ super!

GRABE YUNG PINAGDAANAN NAMEN! basang basa ako sa bahaaa! I'm just so glad my mom didn't scold me! I'm lucky to have her as my mom.

SUPER GRABEEEE! It's one hell of an experience -_-

GRABE! I would cut my post here~ I won't join the cheering anymore. This experience is enough

PILIPINAS UMASENSO KA!

One of the BOYS.

2009-09-25T03:42:00.000-07:00

This day was SUPERB.

A roller coaster day. We played like kids again after lunch then had tons of meetings and super tiring Cheerdance practice after dismissal.

Cheerdance. OH GOD! it SUCKS! we SUCKS. I've seen the first year perform and all I can say was whoaaaa! it's really a CHEER DANCE and ours was more like a Modern dance. Super flirty, super sexy. SUPER HARD!

The Crazy in Love by Beyonce was really CRAZY and I don't really think if I can do it. seriously!
I think I would need an anesthesia on the contest proper because. OHMYGOD! I can't imagine myself doing that.

Leadership Seminar. As I've said, it's 7-11 am and WE SUPER NEED TO ATTEND (me and angel) our call time is 6 am because we'll handle registration PLUS we have cheerdance practice tomorrow from 7 until I don't know when and attendance is a must. ABSENT = DISQUALIFIED.

SO I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO -_- fvck! we are sooo required to attend the LS because we are SBO officers and there are really noooo excuses for the practice and I super hope for CONSIDERATION! Angel and I planned than we would attend the practice after the LS at 12 but the problem is the VENUE was CHANGED and neither of us don't know how to get there! -_-

Bahala na si Batman -_- I need to wake up atleast 4:30 am because Angel and I agreed that we would come earlier so we can try to EXCUSE ourselves from the practice and would just TRY to attend practice after the LS.

Bottomline : It's hell -_-

Hectic

2009-09-24T02:08:00.000-07:00

Busyness again.

I was absent for today because we had our annual checkup.

Cheerdance. Intrams. SBO Programs. that stuffs fills my calendar of events until October.

Chreedance Practices are super tiring, regarding that we also have practices on saturdays even our adviser prohibited us and the administration won't allow us to practice inside school premises. it SUCKS.

Intrams is super near so we have to be reaaaaady for everything. We have to think which booth we're going to held and we're running out of time. They are not giving us enough time so how are we going to plan things if we still have regular classes? -_- It's so dissapointing. Last school year was way way better.

SBO Programs. I would say that this year's SBO is so unproductive. [not because of the officers of course]
We're having our Leadership Seminar on Saturday from 7-11 am and I know it would be BORING! the original plan is a leadership training for 2 days overnight because we're going to held activities but the Administration didn't approved the proposal. KJ!
another thing is we still don't have a FUND! so how are we going to start doing action if they won't let us to? pfft.

This schoolyear is really BORING and pure PRESSURE.

I'm also starting to hear bad feedbacks about me.
I know I can't please everyone and I'm not trying to. I'm just doing things I think I can, so if it annoys you. It's not my problem anymore.

You can say anything about me and I won't give a damn. Philippines is a free country after all.

SINGLE

2009-09-21T07:54:00.000-07:00

Warning: Random Post

ohhkaaay. I was blog hopping/reading when I decided to post an entry on my blog :D sorry! lazyness!

it has been a long weekend and all I did was FACEBOOKING! :D yah yah! I know!
My mom was already scolding me `hindi ka pa ba tatayo jan?`haha

The reason why I haven't reviewed for my exam tomorrow is that I am so head over heels inlove with Restaurant City :D it's my stress reliever, whenever I see how the mini people work. OMG, hindi na ko titigil hangat di ako naglelevel up :D

I don't know. basta I'm happy and my mind is babbling right now. di ko alam kung ano uunahin ko :D I'm happy for my friends! they are all taken! within the month of september :D ako na nga lang ang single BUT I'm happy!

Considering na yung monthsary nung dalawa birthday ko pa. 10 and 12. 10-12 =))

ILY CAE, AERINE and YUKI-CHAN :D higit pa sa pagmamahal ng mga bf niyo. LOL

Kiddo

2009-09-16T12:57:00.000-07:00

I missed being a KID :D

Childhood is the worry-less, ache-less, problem-less, responsibilities-less and everything less time of our lives =))
and this day I was a kid at heart again :D weee! and it was fvcking fun!

I played Ice Ice Water with most of the boys and 4 other girls, althought I was the first girl who joined.

Wala lang, natripan ko lang sumali kasi wala naman kaming ginagawa kahit nung una hindi pa ko tumatakbo kasi mainit then nung na ice na silang lahat :D syempre kailangan mo i-water basta masaya :D
kahapon lang ulit ako tumakbo sa initan ((: srsly. tapos yung feeling na habang tumatakbo ka wala ka ng pakealam sa kahit ano. dun ka lang nakafocus sa taya at sa batong maaring tumalisod sayo. LOL. di ko na nga rin alam kung ano ichura ko nun :D basta water lang ng water. haha ((:

basta super saya :D di ko maexplain. kasi kahit nakakapagod kahit na nakakapawis kahit na NAKAKA :D masaya namaaaan :D

kahit na mejo may umaaway saken or naiinis or what. bahala siya sa buhay niya :D basta wala naman akong ginagawa :D

oh-kay (: gtg now. may exam pa mamaya (:

Dead

2009-09-15T05:20:00.000-07:00

Year of the dead ba talaga ngayon? -_-

'Dirty Dancing' star Patrick Swayze dies at 57

LOS ANGELES – Patrick Swayze, the hunky actor who danced his way into moviegoers' hearts with "Dirty Dancing" and then broke them with "Ghost," died Monday after a battle with pancreatic cancer. He was 57.

"Patrick Swayze passed away peacefully today with family at his side after facing the challenges of his illness for the last 20 months," his publicist, Annett Wolf, said in a statement Monday evening. Swayze died in Los Angeles, Wolf said, but she declined to give further details.

source: http://www.movies.yahoo.com

I feel dead too ;D dead tired.
We had our practice for the cheerdance last weekend that's why I wasn't able to blog everything on my mind. Tuwing paguwi ko wala na atang pumapasok sa isip ko kundi `REST`. haha

Oh-kay, here's the highlight of the day.
We (as in he and me) talked this morning. Oo naguusap kami almost araw araw pero iba ngayon eh ;D I was in the verge of telling him everything pero alam mo yung feeling na natotorpe ka? =)) syempre kahit anong sumbat mo sa sarili mo na `GO GO! SABIHIN MO NA KASI, WALA NAMANG MAWAWALA` minsan talaga hindi pwede, minsan sobrang hirap regarding the consequences and compliactions that might happen =))

Our topic was about my ex-crush.
Sabi niya si ex-crush daw saka si ____ mag on na so I was shocked. Sabi ko `oh? talaga? :o pinatulan niya yun?` ayun then laughtrip kami until he asked me `ikaw sino ba crush mo? kasi naman hindi ka nagsasabi saken` eh syempre pano mo sasabihin sa taong nagtatanong na sya yun? =)) pano mo sasabihin na `kasi ikaw yun at hindi ko alam kung bakit, kasi hindi naman talaga kita type pero hindi kita matiis`

Iba kasi talaga to eh. hindi simpleng pambatang crush ;D kasi pag simpleng crush lang masasabi mo lang`ui ang cute naman niya` then kinabukasan kapag nakita mo siy ulit parang wala na pero eto hindi. Pag nakita mo sya feeling mo lahat ng dugo umaakyat sa muka mo tapos hindi mo alam yung gagawin mo tapos pag titingin siya sayo ng awkward ng feeling kasi baka may dumi ka sa muka =)) BASTA!

Pero srsly, this weird feeling SHOULD stop!

Cheerdance

2009-09-09T03:34:00.000-07:00

I swear I'm a LOUSY DANCER =))

I don't dance except if it's really needed :D and nagyon, SUPER nahihirapan ako sa steps -_- ang bilis pa ng music as in lumalaktaw na ko sa bilang kapag hindi na ko makasabay. ha ha =))

Ewan ko ba. siguro kasi left handed ako kaya mas sanay ako sa LEFT eh sa sayaw mostly naman right, kaya madalas tuloy ako malito ;D ang sakit pa sa paa. feeling ko magkakaron ng muscle cramps -_- super revealing pa yung outfit. :)))))

GOODLUCK na lang -_- sana makaya ko. lol

Lucky Me

2009-09-07T06:27:00.000-07:00

Nevermind the title and sorry for the delay =))

There's two things about this post ;D first is about some corrections regarding my previous entry .
Actually, I'm not really the 2nd nor the 3rd or the 4th and even the 5th :D kasi nag first ako ((: yaaaah! mas lalong hindi kapani paniwala na parang hindi kaya i-absorb ng isip ko :D

It was an error becauses I've told you that someone JUST told me about my ranking last tuesday whick was not yet posted than time. then when they posted it last friday parang aatakihin ako sa puso and I didn't even believed it when someone shouted `whoooo~ top 1 si Zaira` then I daid `weh? di nga?` for about five times so prove it we rushed to the bulletin board then everyone was telling `Congratulations` then I'd just smile and say thank you~ di kasi ako maka recover sa state of shock :D

Honestly I super duper as in never imagined being there! at that sheet of paper. kasi since grade 1 between 6 to 3 lang ang ranking ko then ngayon? :o as in? =)) parang whoooaaaaa! pero don't get me wrong ha. I want it pero I don't want to let others see that I want it :D kasi syempre respect mo na lang sa feelings nung 1st db? kung achievement mo yun syempre dissapointment sa kanya, para bang `oo first ako` pero wag mo na ipamuka sa kanya ((: kaya I asked her agad if she's ok with it and I apologized dun sa mga natalo sa pustahan =)) SORRY, di ko din naman talaga alam.

I also told them na maybe it's just luck ((: na first quarter pa lang naman and maybe next quarter I won't be the 1st anymore :D [mahirap din kasi, mas tataas ang expectations and everything -_-]

Maybe I'm just full of luck this year :D lovelife na lang ang kulang. JOKE =))
Pero honestly, I like someone, really really liked someone that I've almost mistaken it for love =)) PERO it's too complicated to tolerate that kind of feeling towards him because he's too friendly with everyone =)) that's why it too hard to position myself with him :D kaya ayun, hangang friends na lang kami :D

And I don't know, sa tingin ko kasi sa panahon ngayon masyado ng pantay ang guy at girl kaya hindi na lagi ang guy ang nauunang nag-aapproach pero of cousrse, I don't want to approach first or look like a flirt and desperate just to have someone. Ang dami kasi nagsasabi na snob ako pero hindi naman, I'm just not that approachable. PERIOD :D

Sometimes I even think that guys are just intimitated to start a conversation because of me being a `snob` pero hindi naman eh. they can still aproach me nicely and I won't shoo them away also.
here's one situation:

Angel and I were monitoring classrooms last tuesday and there's also an ongoing Audition and Painting Contest so we are needed to guard.
I heard someone asked my classmate `sino VP niyo? ang sungit kasi nung Pres eh` parang I want to tell him na `ako masungit? :o di nga?` =)) haha. pero I just ignored it. wala naman ako mapapala eh :D I also think I don't need a lovelife at this moment =)) masaya naman eh :D