Template : Mommy
Friday, May 18, 2012 ? 0 Watchasay? ?
I haven't blog about mother's day. So now I'm gonna blog about her. I want it to be special so I'll do it today, para nagiisa lang ako. haha. I can blog anyday about my mom because every day should be mother's day. We can't really keep them forever so might as well keep it special while we still can :)
A mother is our guardian angel, I think god gave them us to them to take care of and love and that someday, we will know that it's the other way around. They are like trust funds of God. We don't know how much they're worth until it's the right time and when we need them most. They're our builders, lovers, best friend in this world. They are our soulmates and the only thing in this world that would stick with us no matter what the situation is. I know that not all moms stay with their kids, but all moms love their kids no matter what. Kahit yung mga nagpaabort, nag pabaya, nagpaampon at kung ano ano pa. They love their kids because it's theirs, it's a part of who they are and they love them no matter how they show it.
I am thankful for my mom. She isn't the perfect mom nor the best mom in the whole galaxy, but she is the best mom for me. My mom and I have misunderstandings. But I guess moms have that special phone number in our system that whatever we do and whatever we feel or think, they have a way to know things. They are moms for a reason. I am lucky I have her, I am lucky I can still kiss, hug and talk to her unlike some kids.
There are times that I sort of hate my mom. There are a lot of times I do fail to understand her. Sometimes I just don't understand why so I feel bad about her. But whenever it passes, I'll realize that whatever she does and whoever she is and whatever desicion she makes, she is my mom and I love her. That's the only thing that matters most.
My mom is on the top of the reasons why my heart stops my brain from wishing I had a different life, live in a different place and become a different person. I admit there were instances in the past that I have thought "Sana si ganito na lang ang mommy ko" There were times the younger me wanted that because my mom always scold me, disappoints me even and cannot give everything I wish for. But now that I understand things, situations and point of views more, I feel ashamed of ever thinking that way. I now realize what a mom goes through just for her kid. I now see how much my mom have gone through to stay with us, to make us happy by doing all she can. Now I know how much my mom gave up for us, how much a mom compromises to give her child everything. Now I oity those kids who take their mom for granted. I pity that part of me who took my mom for granted. I regret the times I've made her feel bad. I feel ashamed of the times I blamed my mom for the things she isn't to blame for. Now I know my mom did everything she can to give me what I wanted.
When I look at the bigger picture, my rants and reasons are no match for what my mom did for me. I regret the moments I've hurt her or made her feel bad. The times I have disappointed her and the times that I talked back.
I wanted to write her a lotter but I think it's too cheesy. Hehe. I am never a thoughtful person. I'm not an expert of showing my feelings, even to my mom. I seldom tell her I love her, but I do. So much. Sometimes I tell her jokingly that I would take care of her, give her the things she wants. I'm gonna do that and I hope, wish to God that let me have that chance. Let me have the chance to take care of my mom in her old age. Give her everything she deserves for molding me and loving me. This mothers day I wish for more time. Plenty of time with my mom.
Last mother's day we served her breakfast and bed. It was actually my brother's idea and I just helped :) The morning that we served it, I felt like crying. Hehe :) We greeted her good morning and a Happy Mother's day and that was it. :) My brother is really sweet and I guess I often forget the little things that would make my mom happy. I'm not sweet because I think it's uneccessary and silly. I find it a form of weakness and I don't know. I'm just this way. I have so many things in my mind I fail to do and say because I'm afraid. I'm afraid to get hurt when I show people how I feel.
I love you so much mommy. Kahit ganito ako love na love kita, kahit suplada mataray at masungit ako. I will do my best to make you happy. To give you the best things in life. I'm sorry if I always fail to show you how much I do love you. I hope you feel it even if I'm like this. If I find it hard to tell a lot people how much they mean to me. I'm sorry if I don't always show and tell you how much I love you. But please keep in mind that I do and will always love you. Just trust me okay? I promise you wouldn't end up in a home for the aged. I promise I'll take care of you. Happy Mother's Day. I know you wouldn't read this. You will when I go yo UP :) I love You :*
Labels: Mother's Day, Personal
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