Living a Dream ♥

I don't really know

Sunday, November 29, 2009 ? 2 Watchasay? ?

I'm having this kind of feeling again and It makes me hate myself for feeling this bullshits. :|

I don't know where to start ranting about my life and this is actually my 2nd post attempt because I'm not sure if I want to post nonsense, negative and pointless stuffs here at my blog, but I guess there's no other place to release this.

First of all, EWAN KO. I'm feeling really bum since last last week. Feeling ko lumulutang lang ako and, everything just passes by and my mind is so SABAW! I feel so lantang gulay that I don't know what I want and what to do kahit alam ko na may DAPAT akong gawin :|

I'm so disappointed of myself and I know I've been ill tempered this past few days.

My exams results were just normal except for Geometry and History that when I went to school last Tuesday, some of my classmates were asking `ano nangyare sayo` and I was like `bakit? ano ba nangyare?`.

Haay, I don't know, I don't want to sound `mayabang` but is it really my responsibility to achieve everyone's expectations na para bang it's a super big sin na bumama ako?:| gaaaaah, hindi ba ko pwede mag pahinga muna from being `someone everyone expects me to be? `

I'm tired of what's happening, I'm tired of planning things that no one seems to care, I'm tired of being the person they think I am. I'm tired of being the magaling that almost everyone depends on. I'm tired of being the one who figures out everything. I'm tired of the people who thinks they don't need to care kasi nandito naman ako :|

I may look happy but I am not. Maybe I'm just good at hiding what I really feel.

I admit that I am happy at some time but it's just for a while :| happy ako nung friday because we had the Math and Science camp, happy ako kahapon kasi nakapagbike ulit ako after a long time but after that, what next? I don't know again, It would just be all neutral again, pagpasok sa Tuesday ganun ulit :| and honestly, I don't really feel Christmas this year :|

I feel friendless and taken for granted :| I feel used and judged and I'm just tired of proving everyone wrong.

I'm not PROUD and SATISFIED of what I am anymore :(

I'm sorry about this rants I believe you don't understand. I'm sorry na bihira na nga lang ako mag update puro drama pa:| I'm just being emo today and I already miss my laptop :|

Labels: Personal, Random, school

Love, Zaira ♥

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