Template : Wants and Needs
Sunday, July 1, 2012 ? 0 Watchasay? ?
Here I am again, torn between what I want and what I need and what I'm so bothered about is that I don't know if what I want is good for me.
Have you ever felt that? that you're torn between what you want and what you need to do? I have felt exactly like that today, specifically this night.
I have read something somewhere that we humans have this habit of wanting things that are not really good for us. Do you agree? I do. Haaaay.
I somehow know myself and kept a letter as a reminder of what I have to keep in mind before I entered college.
So the reason why I have felt this awful today is because I'm tempted to join an organization or be a part of something bigger. I don't know, I've heard opinions that it isn't gonna benefit me. I think it's fun to ba a part of it and I think it's gonna bring me happiness. I also think it's something unique about college that I wouldn't have the opportunity to be in when I graduate.
I don't know.
I think I have lost what I felt strongly earlier tonight because my dormates keep in talking and I can't concentrate very much about writing this.
I am not really comfortable with the thought that some people, particularly people who knows me personally and gets to be with me in personal, know what my feelings and a lot about what I think.
So I'm writing this now in a very small version of a notepad because I'm concious they might get a glimpse of it.
This entry ends here, I don't have much privacy and time to think too much in here so I seldom blog or write entries. You know, there's really a certain mood a writer have to be in to be able to write completely about her feelings.
I miss writing and I miss making myself feel a lot of things. I couldn't do it in here. I'm really not comfortable exposing my emotions to people who could make a comment. Ugh, I'm happy yet uncomfortable in here. A lot of adjustments really needed.
And now this post has become too random. I apologize for that, there's just so much to say and to type yet limited time and inappopriate place to really be my serious self.
Homesick
Saturday, June 16, 2012 ? 0 Watchasay? ?
I'm now writing this out of fvcking boredom.
It's too quiet here and it's just past the hour of 9.
My roommates are now asleep and I'm too shy to talk to anyone else right now.
The hardest part of now is taking a bath and changing my clothes >_<
And another con is that it's to hot but I have to wear t shirt because it's what most of them wear.
Theres a wifi but it's password protected. dafuq.
I don't know if I'll just sleep now and I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'LL DO TOMORROW. ughhhhhh. I am a good blogger now because there's no internet. harhar
Labels: 11, 12, June, Personal
Iskolar Para sa Bayan
? 0 Watchasay? ?
We had our Almusalan ang Freshmen convocation this morning.
Nakakalula men! Wagas yung pila para sa almusalan tapos naguumapaw sa food! As in libre. Drinks, bread, may lugaw pa nga tas pwede ka kumuha ng kumuha ng kumuha, nanghihinayang ako di ako nagdala ng bag. Haha. As in kanina sobrang amazed ako dahil libre yung ganun karaming food! Labeled pa yung iba:D yung tipong Chuckie, McDo tapos Krispy Kreme at Jollibee.
Tapos ayun convocation na. Ang dami lang sinabi. Nakakapagod i-elaborate pa. Hahaha. Inaantok na ko. Puro kasi lakad lakad lakad tapos yung weather pa eh Uulan, aaraw. Iinit at lalamig. Wew.
Pero yun nga, the speakers all pointed out how lucky we are to be certified Isko and Iska. Ako naman kinakabahan pa sa mga klase ko na darating :D
Hello College :)
? 0 Watchasay? ?
I'm off to ship my things and myself to UPLB tomorrow. I'm sad and excited at the same time. I don't know.
But right now I'm so happy and so in love with my MacBook Pro :) I would blog about everything when my blogging self isn't lazy anymore.
Haaay. I haven't even updated my story yet, I wish I'll have my motivation back.
Nakakaasar. Kasasabi ko lang sa note to self ko na hindi ako dapat tamarin. Hay.
But well, my self is stubbon :D
Labels: 11, 12, College, June, UPLB
You Are Good Enough
Friday, June 1, 2012 ? 0 Watchasay? ?
This for is for me and lot of teens out there who feels they aren't good enough and someone is always better than them.
You know, there's this constant idea that always pops in my head and makes me feel depressed.
The idea to be someone else. The idea that they are so much better than me. The idea that makes me want to be like them.
Whenever I see a pretty girl, I sort of like "She's so pretty. I wish I'm that pretty too". Whenever I heard someone sing so good, I feel "Why is my voice like this? ughhh". Whenever I read a good story I feel insecure about the way I write.
I guess it's wrong to feel the urge to be someone else. Sometimes we think we're not good enough. Maybe we're just seeing things the wrong way. We think we're not good enough because we try to please someone who doesn't really care. We try so hard to be good enough we forget that we're enough. That we actually matter to someone. Someone finsds you pretty, someone finds you sexy, cute, smart. We are good enough.
I'm a frustrated writer *_* I write, and actually sometimes I try to have a different style in writing, but it just doesn't feel right. So I tried sticking to my style, and some people actually liked and loved my story *_* I can't even believe it =))))))) It made me feel so good about myself. I can't believe somebody actually liked it and appreciated me, or the way I write.
And it made realize some things.
I guess some teens lose their identity, or lose theirselves because they try to be someone else. All of us have insecurities, I guess even the most interesting and the most beautiful girl. I guess insecurities are what makes us not good enough, perfection is just a concept that we all try to define and somehow try to achieve.
When we're insecure about who we are, we tend to stop trying to be better and get lost in our sadness. We tend to just sit there and be miserable because we're not good enough, because we'll never gonna get things done, because we're never gonna be happy, because someone's never gonna love us. We let our insecurities eat us.
When we're insecure about what we do, we tend to stop doing it even if it makes us happy.
Someone sees you the way you are. You are good enough. Kanya kanyang taste lang naman ang tao, Maybe you should try looking at the other direction, maybe those people will see your worth and make you feel you're good enough. It's a waste of time wishing and trying to be someone else just because we think they are so much better. They have imperfections and insecurities too. Stick with who you are, it's a lot easier and people will like you and love you that way. And when you start neglecting your insecurities and start noticing those people, You'll feel great.
I'm saying this because I want to stop feeling bad about myself. And I felt great when someone told me they loved my story. :)
And when people suddenly tells me "I'm cute" I find it hard to believe then, but I guess I should believe them. Maybe I'm cute to some and not to the others. But I have to make myself believe "I'm cute" to make it more believable, and to make myself feel good.
You are beautiful. You are good enough. You just have to believe it yourself :)
Prince Charming. Haha
Wants and Needs