Awesome!
SO YEAH :) we lost. HAHA :) Isa lang yung nanalo sa Partylist ko and that's my Secretary pero honestly, NO SWEAT. NO REGRETS :) Parang masaya pa nga ako na talo kasi mas madali lahat, akala nila ito na yung success pero sa totoo lang simula pa lang to :D
I'm happy because I did well, all of us. I don't regret anything because I've seen the people who are true to me. I felt so AWESOME during last week kahit na sobrang haggard.
Right now I can say that I am genuinely happy and fulfilled, parang wala na kong mahihiling pa :D So moving on, this day was also awesome. We had our Quizz on Chem, Seating arrangement and it was kinda awful :) I was feeling annoyed and suffocated this morning not because of the results but because of Lorielle. GRABE >_> ANG INGAY NIYA, and she keeps on boasting about their Victory, as if naman may care ako di ba? :) and She stares at Jelsie in a bad way kasi baka daw nadaya sila or nag aalburoto siya dahil konting votes lang nakuha niya sa klase. THE EFF :))) She wants more? hahaha. We were so irritated of her until it was time for the seating arrangement kasi at last, nahiwalay na siya sa mga kauri niya :D nagwatak watak sila :) My place remained as is but my seatmate, Angel, was transferred behind me so my current seatmate is Jeric :) AYUN, everything's fine, I just don't like the new formation of the seats which is 3 by 4 by 3 na dating 4 by 4, para kasing sumikip at uminit.
First time ko din makakuha ng score na 1/30 sa QUIZZ =))) yeaaaaaah. It's hilarious! It was a super duper surprise quizz so ayun, walang pumasa, nabansagan pa kaming TAMAD. haha :)) dumaan daw kasi ang Weekends ng hindi man lang namin nabasa yun, nakanang naman di ba? :)) tama nga naman, dumaan lang talaga ang weekend. :) Hindi ko nga nafeel. :)
So ayun ulit, We had the Poster Making for T.L.E this afternoon and I AM REALLY REALLY NOT GOOD AT DRAWING :D I sweaaaaar! wala akong talent jan, even sa singing or dancing except pag napilit. haha sa friday na kasi nutrition day namin and I was supposed to be a contestant for Idol kong Bibo but I ran for SBO so I gave that up. I was also planned to be the President for Peers Counsilors Club but I gave way for the SBO and I honestly don't regret anything! Boyfriend na lang talaga kulang ngayon, PERO YUNG HINDI BASTA BASTA :D
Jam, Ann and Angel was with me later this afternoon to prepare Jam for Friday but we end up talking and talking and talking. HAHA :) Ayun, same things, They accidentally opened my Facebook and saw Ex's relationship request. LOL :)
I haven't confirmed or ignored it yet. HAHA.
Eh kasi we were talking about our crushes, we were defining every guy in our classroom :D laughtrip, basta it was so random but I enjoyed it. I opened something personal about them, sabi ko kasi gusto ko magkaboyfriend ulit before HS ends but I want it special, ayoko nung try lang. I explained that it's really different, I have suitors, pero walang spark! I have crushes, but they're not boyfriend figures. We talked about guys appropriate for us. Ayun :) ang hirap kasing i-explain dito. I have shared a part of me that's kept all along, I have shared something na kay Lorielle at sa mga bilang na tao ko lang nasabi.
This day was awesome, even I got a score of 1! LOL :)
Labels: Ex, Friends, fun, life, love, SBO
Love, Zaira ♥
A friend and a Special Friend
I just feel like sharing what I feel. Dahil madaling araw na naman at wala akong gaanong ginagawa. Hell week is over and elections too so yeah, I have time to waste again.
Wala lang, para kasing namimimiss ko na naman siya
you know who dahil gaano man ako kasaya sa mga kaibigan ko ngayon, gaano man nagevolve ang pagsasamahan namin, iba pa rin kapag may special someone ka.
Hindi naman ako basta basta pwedeng pumasok sa isang relasyon dahil gusto ko lang. Iba kasi kapag iba yung nararamdaman mo sa tao, ewan ko, parang gusto ko ng bestfriend/boyfriend figure.
Kahapon kasi, Friday, in the middle of nowhere bigla akong nasenti. Kasi election, at di ko man aminin kinakabahan ako lalo na sa magiging feedback manalo man o matalo na okay lang sa`kin kahit ano. Alam mo yun, wala kasi yung close friends ko, eh syempre hindi naman pwedeng lagi akong may constant kausap. Bigla kong naisip na iba pa rin talaga kapag may someone special ka kahit marami kang close friends o barkada. Iba pa rin yung sense of security na alam mong hinding hindi ka ma i-isolate sa isang tabi kasi may reserve ka na.
Iba pa rin pag special o nagiisa yung mahal mo. Yung walang katulad. Yung boyfriend na bestfriend na close friend. Yun yung hanap ko, ayoko sa basta basta na lang para may matawag na boyfriend. Gusto ko yung ganun, hindi man pang level up, alam mong may isang taong hinding hindi ka iiwan dahil mahal ka. Okay lang na magaway kami o tampuhan, basta nanjan pa rin siya.
Ang senti ko. Basta. Narealize ko lang na
iba talaga.
Gusto ko lang i-blog to, kinakabahan kasi ako sa results although either way is fine with me. Sabi nga namin ni Angel parang ayaw namin manalo, kasi nabasa niyo naman last year kung gaano ka stressful saka sa ngayon ang hirap lumiban sa klase lalo na sa Math. Pamatay. Saka ayun, nagpaparamdam na naman siya, tapos ang dami kong crush, pero hangang dun lang yun. Iba pa rin talaga siya, kahit LDR kami. IBANG IBA >.<>
Kinakabahan ako sa results. Kasi pag natalo ayoko ng loser figure, ayoko ng kaaawaan. Pero masaya ako sa nakikita kong suporta ng mga schoolmates at teachers kahit di maiiwasan yung mga walang modo at bastos na studyante masaya pa rin ako sa obvious na kami yung gustong manalo :) Pero pag talo okay lang, siguro 1 week lang yung init ng issue, after nun back to normal na. Mag fofocus na lang ako sa classroom at sa mga kaibigan ko ngayon :) Pag naman nanalo, mas mahirap. Mas matagal na isipan at stress at sa bandang huli sa`min pa ang sisi. Either way would be okay :)
Ang labo. Basta sa mga nanliligaw ngayon wala, after ng bolahan wala na, sandaling kilig lang. Kaya parang ayaw ko. Wala. Wala talaga :( hay.
Labels: Ex, life, love, Personal, school
Love, Zaira ♥
Alone
Everyday, I would always come up of something to blog about but always end up `empty`. Everyday of this summer, I deal with boredom and random thoughts.
Everyday, I kept on thinking plans and productive things to do but always end up thinking about `him`.
Every post I plan to do always end up having him in it. :( that's why I don't blog about it instead. It would be lame.
Summer. I've been reading a lot of books and watching a lot of movies and series to fight boredom, then in the middle of nowhere, I'll cry. It's...absurd.
I feel like I don't know what's happening to me. This is not supposed to happen. My thoughts always lead me to something I don't want to. I feel like loosing myself. I feel so hollow. LUTANG. SABAW :|
I've been drowning myself of sleep because I think my dreams are way better than everything in my life now. Despite all the sleep, I still feel restless. I laugh, I smile but I'm not happy. :| I feel so alone.
I always think about him. It's eating me up and I have no one to tell how bad I feel. nagdadalawang isip naman ako punuin ng drama and rant itong blog ko :|
He. I've met him on Summer two years ago. He's three years senior than me. We started from a dare/trip, I don't know, We're not really serious that time. It was more of an experiment relationship, he just wants someone he can get along and I too want something new.
Ours was like an open relationship then, NO STRINGS ATTACHED. He was having a vacation then so eventually he needed to leave and it turned out to be a long distance relationship. I told him we can go on under certain circumstances like no pressure at walang selosan. Just like that, It was perfect. It wasn't like other relationship overflowing with I love you's. We were so open and honest to each other. May usapan kami na pag ayaw mo na sabihin mo lang. He told me as long as we're happy, we're still together.
Then one day he told me we're through. I said `OKAY` because I left a note to myself not to fall deep for him because we're just playing, not sure of anything. We're still young, We have priorities, I can't keep him myself. I told myself not to be `stupid` and to accept that anytime we're bound to end. Magsasawa at magsasawa kami sa isa't isa at hindi ako dapat ma-attach sa kanya.
After that we remained friends, a month almost, then he suddenly said he wants me back. Pumayag naman ako kasi gusto ko dn naman. It happened couple of times, he'll say we're through but still remain the same hangang sa sasabihin niya na `one more chance` tapos papayag ulit ako kasi he's special, he's important to me. Hangang isang araw ayaw ko na. It's was becoming a cycle, I still accept him because I love him and I feel that he still loves me but we just can't compromise. I was hoping he would adjust a little for things to be easier. It was an on and off relationship. It was like kami na parang hindi. hindi na kami pero parang kami pa din. We were like loose threads, parang pareho lang kami nagpapakiramdaman. I can't say `I love you` to him because it's awkward for me. I not a cheesy girl. I was like never sure of anything between us so I decided to call it quits.
I just got tired of the set up. He'll talk to me whenever he wants and I can't complain because I can't be jealous or demanding. I can't demand time from him because I know he has priorities. Pero ano ba naman yung magkusa man lang siya, to give me a little priority without me asking from him. Nagsawa na ko na kami pero feeling ko single ako kasi hindi ko na siya maramdaman. I don't really mind it that time, lalo na nung naging busy ako nung 2nd year. We never really had a closure. :|
I never told anyone about him, only a few friends knows him but I never told the whole story. I never mind it though, I wasn't sure if they would believe me because some people see LDR as a non working relationship. I never boast I have a boyfriend or confess my frustrations to any of them because I DON'T WANT JUDGEMENTS. Ayoko ng relasyon na maraming opinion, maraming nakikisawsaw. I cherished privacy then.
The time I finally said we're over, I was crushed. I was so down but I can't tell it to anyone. Only to Lorielle because she's the only person I know that would understand that kind of things and I know she'll keep it to herself. I wasn't OKAY but I HAVE TO BE. Kasi hindi naman ako pwede umiyak na di nila makikita, I don't want questions that time. I was too tired to explain things to people who doesn't know anything. I kept myself busy. I took over most of the task to be busy.
Sorry If I'm telling this long story now. It's just bothering me so much now. I'm not busy so I end up thinking about him most of the time. We still talk, and everytime we do I still hope we'll be like the way we used to be. Happy.
I want to get over it.
I want to move on.
I want to stop hoping.
I want to replace him already, there are other guys. I have crushes. I have friends. I have choices, but I just can't find `someone` who'll be like him. :(
He's not just an ex. There's a something in him I can't find in others. Yung tipong `you'll never get bored or tired talking to` :( He was the one I talk to till dawn with just random things. No exact topic. He's the one who comforted be when most of my friends betrayed me. He's the reason why I stay up late just to talk. Minsan kahit wala ako load basta magtext lang siya magpapaload na ko. Kahit tumawag siya ng madaling araw ok lang.
He's one of the persons I can really be myself without the fear of judgements. He's one of the only person who understands me. :( he's like the bestfriend I never had.
I'm just so fed up of the same people around me. Some of my friends are not really friends. Some of them would just remember me when they need something. When they need help. Sometimes I feel taken for granted. I never really opened myself to any of them because I can sense what they'll think. They don't really know how bad I feel because they never cared :( I never told them what I feel because they won't understand :( they'll just see it the wrong way.
The people around me are all the same, they see me as if I'm okay to be hurt, to be taken for granted. I feel so alone now. I miss him, although we still talk. It can never be like the way we used to.
I'm tired of people asking me why. I want someone who'll just hug me whenever I cry without questions. I want someone to talk to without asking `ano pong topic`. I want someone who won't judge me. I want someone who'll be there other than my mom. I'm tired of feeling this, taken for granted. used. I miss him, I want to stop hoping we can still be. I want the same feeling of happiness again. I miss the feel of being appreciated.
Labels: Ex, Personal
Love, Zaira ♥
Older Post
Awesome!
SO YEAH :) we lost. HAHA :) Isa lang yung nanalo sa Partylist ko and that's my Secretary pero honestly, NO SWEAT. NO REGRETS :) Parang masaya pa nga ako na talo kasi mas madali lahat, akala nila ito na yung success pero sa totoo lang simula pa lang to :D
I'm happy because I did well, all of us. I don't regret anything because I've seen the people who are true to me. I felt so AWESOME during last week kahit na sobrang haggard.
Right now I can say that I am genuinely happy and fulfilled, parang wala na kong mahihiling pa :D So moving on, this day was also awesome. We had our Quizz on Chem, Seating arrangement and it was kinda awful :) I was feeling annoyed and suffocated this morning not because of the results but because of Lorielle. GRABE >_> ANG INGAY NIYA, and she keeps on boasting about their Victory, as if naman may care ako di ba? :) and She stares at Jelsie in a bad way kasi baka daw nadaya sila or nag aalburoto siya dahil konting votes lang nakuha niya sa klase. THE EFF :))) She wants more? hahaha. We were so irritated of her until it was time for the seating arrangement kasi at last, nahiwalay na siya sa mga kauri niya :D nagwatak watak sila :) My place remained as is but my seatmate, Angel, was transferred behind me so my current seatmate is Jeric :) AYUN, everything's fine, I just don't like the new formation of the seats which is 3 by 4 by 3 na dating 4 by 4, para kasing sumikip at uminit.
First time ko din makakuha ng score na 1/30 sa QUIZZ =))) yeaaaaaah. It's hilarious! It was a super duper surprise quizz so ayun, walang pumasa, nabansagan pa kaming TAMAD. haha :)) dumaan daw kasi ang Weekends ng hindi man lang namin nabasa yun, nakanang naman di ba? :)) tama nga naman, dumaan lang talaga ang weekend. :) Hindi ko nga nafeel. :)
So ayun ulit, We had the Poster Making for T.L.E this afternoon and I AM REALLY REALLY NOT GOOD AT DRAWING :D I sweaaaaar! wala akong talent jan, even sa singing or dancing except pag napilit. haha sa friday na kasi nutrition day namin and I was supposed to be a contestant for Idol kong Bibo but I ran for SBO so I gave that up. I was also planned to be the President for Peers Counsilors Club but I gave way for the SBO and I honestly don't regret anything! Boyfriend na lang talaga kulang ngayon, PERO YUNG HINDI BASTA BASTA :D
Jam, Ann and Angel was with me later this afternoon to prepare Jam for Friday but we end up talking and talking and talking. HAHA :) Ayun, same things, They accidentally opened my Facebook and saw Ex's relationship request. LOL :)
I haven't confirmed or ignored it yet. HAHA.
Eh kasi we were talking about our crushes, we were defining every guy in our classroom :D laughtrip, basta it was so random but I enjoyed it. I opened something personal about them, sabi ko kasi gusto ko magkaboyfriend ulit before HS ends but I want it special, ayoko nung try lang. I explained that it's really different, I have suitors, pero walang spark! I have crushes, but they're not boyfriend figures. We talked about guys appropriate for us. Ayun :) ang hirap kasing i-explain dito. I have shared a part of me that's kept all along, I have shared something na kay Lorielle at sa mga bilang na tao ko lang nasabi.
This day was awesome, even I got a score of 1! LOL :)
Labels: Ex, Friends, fun, life, love, SBO
A friend and a Special Friend
I just feel like sharing what I feel. Dahil madaling araw na naman at wala akong gaanong ginagawa. Hell week is over and elections too so yeah, I have time to waste again.
Wala lang, para kasing namimimiss ko na naman siya
you know who dahil gaano man ako kasaya sa mga kaibigan ko ngayon, gaano man nagevolve ang pagsasamahan namin, iba pa rin kapag may special someone ka.
Hindi naman ako basta basta pwedeng pumasok sa isang relasyon dahil gusto ko lang. Iba kasi kapag iba yung nararamdaman mo sa tao, ewan ko, parang gusto ko ng bestfriend/boyfriend figure.
Kahapon kasi, Friday, in the middle of nowhere bigla akong nasenti. Kasi election, at di ko man aminin kinakabahan ako lalo na sa magiging feedback manalo man o matalo na okay lang sa`kin kahit ano. Alam mo yun, wala kasi yung close friends ko, eh syempre hindi naman pwedeng lagi akong may constant kausap. Bigla kong naisip na iba pa rin talaga kapag may someone special ka kahit marami kang close friends o barkada. Iba pa rin yung sense of security na alam mong hinding hindi ka ma i-isolate sa isang tabi kasi may reserve ka na.
Iba pa rin pag special o nagiisa yung mahal mo. Yung walang katulad. Yung boyfriend na bestfriend na close friend. Yun yung hanap ko, ayoko sa basta basta na lang para may matawag na boyfriend. Gusto ko yung ganun, hindi man pang level up, alam mong may isang taong hinding hindi ka iiwan dahil mahal ka. Okay lang na magaway kami o tampuhan, basta nanjan pa rin siya.
Ang senti ko. Basta. Narealize ko lang na
iba talaga.
Gusto ko lang i-blog to, kinakabahan kasi ako sa results although either way is fine with me. Sabi nga namin ni Angel parang ayaw namin manalo, kasi nabasa niyo naman last year kung gaano ka stressful saka sa ngayon ang hirap lumiban sa klase lalo na sa Math. Pamatay. Saka ayun, nagpaparamdam na naman siya, tapos ang dami kong crush, pero hangang dun lang yun. Iba pa rin talaga siya, kahit LDR kami. IBANG IBA >.<>
Kinakabahan ako sa results. Kasi pag natalo ayoko ng loser figure, ayoko ng kaaawaan. Pero masaya ako sa nakikita kong suporta ng mga schoolmates at teachers kahit di maiiwasan yung mga walang modo at bastos na studyante masaya pa rin ako sa obvious na kami yung gustong manalo :) Pero pag talo okay lang, siguro 1 week lang yung init ng issue, after nun back to normal na. Mag fofocus na lang ako sa classroom at sa mga kaibigan ko ngayon :) Pag naman nanalo, mas mahirap. Mas matagal na isipan at stress at sa bandang huli sa`min pa ang sisi. Either way would be okay :)
Ang labo. Basta sa mga nanliligaw ngayon wala, after ng bolahan wala na, sandaling kilig lang. Kaya parang ayaw ko. Wala. Wala talaga :( hay.
Labels: Ex, life, love, Personal, school
Alone
Everyday, I would always come up of something to blog about but always end up `empty`. Everyday of this summer, I deal with boredom and random thoughts.
Everyday, I kept on thinking plans and productive things to do but always end up thinking about `him`.
Every post I plan to do always end up having him in it. :( that's why I don't blog about it instead. It would be lame.
Summer. I've been reading a lot of books and watching a lot of movies and series to fight boredom, then in the middle of nowhere, I'll cry. It's...absurd.
I feel like I don't know what's happening to me. This is not supposed to happen. My thoughts always lead me to something I don't want to. I feel like loosing myself. I feel so hollow. LUTANG. SABAW :|
I've been drowning myself of sleep because I think my dreams are way better than everything in my life now. Despite all the sleep, I still feel restless. I laugh, I smile but I'm not happy. :| I feel so alone.
I always think about him. It's eating me up and I have no one to tell how bad I feel. nagdadalawang isip naman ako punuin ng drama and rant itong blog ko :|
He. I've met him on Summer two years ago. He's three years senior than me. We started from a dare/trip, I don't know, We're not really serious that time. It was more of an experiment relationship, he just wants someone he can get along and I too want something new.
Ours was like an open relationship then, NO STRINGS ATTACHED. He was having a vacation then so eventually he needed to leave and it turned out to be a long distance relationship. I told him we can go on under certain circumstances like no pressure at walang selosan. Just like that, It was perfect. It wasn't like other relationship overflowing with I love you's. We were so open and honest to each other. May usapan kami na pag ayaw mo na sabihin mo lang. He told me as long as we're happy, we're still together.
Then one day he told me we're through. I said `OKAY` because I left a note to myself not to fall deep for him because we're just playing, not sure of anything. We're still young, We have priorities, I can't keep him myself. I told myself not to be `stupid` and to accept that anytime we're bound to end. Magsasawa at magsasawa kami sa isa't isa at hindi ako dapat ma-attach sa kanya.
After that we remained friends, a month almost, then he suddenly said he wants me back. Pumayag naman ako kasi gusto ko dn naman. It happened couple of times, he'll say we're through but still remain the same hangang sa sasabihin niya na `one more chance` tapos papayag ulit ako kasi he's special, he's important to me. Hangang isang araw ayaw ko na. It's was becoming a cycle, I still accept him because I love him and I feel that he still loves me but we just can't compromise. I was hoping he would adjust a little for things to be easier. It was an on and off relationship. It was like kami na parang hindi. hindi na kami pero parang kami pa din. We were like loose threads, parang pareho lang kami nagpapakiramdaman. I can't say `I love you` to him because it's awkward for me. I not a cheesy girl. I was like never sure of anything between us so I decided to call it quits.
I just got tired of the set up. He'll talk to me whenever he wants and I can't complain because I can't be jealous or demanding. I can't demand time from him because I know he has priorities. Pero ano ba naman yung magkusa man lang siya, to give me a little priority without me asking from him. Nagsawa na ko na kami pero feeling ko single ako kasi hindi ko na siya maramdaman. I don't really mind it that time, lalo na nung naging busy ako nung 2nd year. We never really had a closure. :|
I never told anyone about him, only a few friends knows him but I never told the whole story. I never mind it though, I wasn't sure if they would believe me because some people see LDR as a non working relationship. I never boast I have a boyfriend or confess my frustrations to any of them because I DON'T WANT JUDGEMENTS. Ayoko ng relasyon na maraming opinion, maraming nakikisawsaw. I cherished privacy then.
The time I finally said we're over, I was crushed. I was so down but I can't tell it to anyone. Only to Lorielle because she's the only person I know that would understand that kind of things and I know she'll keep it to herself. I wasn't OKAY but I HAVE TO BE. Kasi hindi naman ako pwede umiyak na di nila makikita, I don't want questions that time. I was too tired to explain things to people who doesn't know anything. I kept myself busy. I took over most of the task to be busy.
Sorry If I'm telling this long story now. It's just bothering me so much now. I'm not busy so I end up thinking about him most of the time. We still talk, and everytime we do I still hope we'll be like the way we used to be. Happy.
I want to get over it.
I want to move on.
I want to stop hoping.
I want to replace him already, there are other guys. I have crushes. I have friends. I have choices, but I just can't find `someone` who'll be like him. :(
He's not just an ex. There's a something in him I can't find in others. Yung tipong `you'll never get bored or tired talking to` :( He was the one I talk to till dawn with just random things. No exact topic. He's the one who comforted be when most of my friends betrayed me. He's the reason why I stay up late just to talk. Minsan kahit wala ako load basta magtext lang siya magpapaload na ko. Kahit tumawag siya ng madaling araw ok lang.
He's one of the persons I can really be myself without the fear of judgements. He's one of the only person who understands me. :( he's like the bestfriend I never had.
I'm just so fed up of the same people around me. Some of my friends are not really friends. Some of them would just remember me when they need something. When they need help. Sometimes I feel taken for granted. I never really opened myself to any of them because I can sense what they'll think. They don't really know how bad I feel because they never cared :( I never told them what I feel because they won't understand :( they'll just see it the wrong way.
The people around me are all the same, they see me as if I'm okay to be hurt, to be taken for granted. I feel so alone now. I miss him, although we still talk. It can never be like the way we used to.
I'm tired of people asking me why. I want someone who'll just hug me whenever I cry without questions. I want someone to talk to without asking `ano pong topic`. I want someone who won't judge me. I want someone who'll be there other than my mom. I'm tired of feeling this, taken for granted. used. I miss him, I want to stop hoping we can still be. I want the same feeling of happiness again. I miss the feel of being appreciated.
Labels: Ex, Personal
Older Post 
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Prince Charming. Haha
